Boyfriend wants me to quit smoking

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by bkk, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. #1 bkk, Nov 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2012
    So, I've been smoking weed since i was 15 and I'm now 19- going to school full-time as well as maintaining a job. I have smoked pretty regularly since i began 4 years ago, and have never encountered an issue with it; It doesn't effect my school or work performance, and has never had an impact on my relationships with any friends or family members. Two months ago i got into my first relationship ever, with a great guy who treats me well and is great to be around, but he strongly dislikes my smoking habits. Before we started dating he knew i was an avid smoker, and would only tease me about it and playfully call me a "stoner". Now that we're dating he says he doesn't mind it if i smoke sometimes (less than 3 times a week), but if i do it a lot it'll bug him. Smoking is my thing i like to do, it relieves stress and is enjoyable for me and he just doesn't understand why i like to smoke often. Any advice on what to do? I don't want to break up but that may be the only option...

    EDIT-- My boyfriend does smoke, but not often. He'll do it if he's at a party or in a social setting, never randomly during the day. I have thought about asking him to smoke with me but I'm not sure how he'd react. We hang out a lot but i've never smoked around him or have been high around him a lot, and if i was ever high around him he had no clue. He has said his opinion on smoking isn't going to change, i've asked but he's never given me a real reason as to why he resents smoking so much.
     
  2. hey there, have you ever smoked with him? does he even smoke? its hard to have a relationship work when one individual thinks what the other is doing is not to their liking. if you were drinking everyday would he mind? there are so many things that can be done, communication is key as well as honesty. if you are posting this here you need to do some serious thinking.
     
  3. Personally I would break up with him. Either he is going to resent you if you don't stop or you are going to resent him if you do stop.
    And trying to force someone to love something because you love it and think they should is pointless. At this point he's made up his mind as to how he feels about it.
     
  4. If it doesn't change who you are and he's telling you to stop, tell him to go fuck himself. He doesn't have a right to try and change you after two fucking months, if at all.
     
  5. How often are you guys together? You could compromise and not smoke around him, if you really want to be with him. But really, you should be with someone who accepts you for who you are and has the same views when it comes to marijuana.
    He sounds controlling.
     
  6. well i mean smoking in excess is a little bit bad. you cant cut down to 3 times a week? if he isnt even satisfied with that then somethings wrong with him. he knew you smoked before he went out with you so if hes trying to change you now then he's too controlling
     

  7. Dude/tte chill out a little, so violent, maybe he's one of the billions of people on this planet who only know of the generally negative views of weed. We don't hate, we educate. Now OP we don't have all of the info you do, but just from my experiences, you gotta find out what his problem with weed is. Could be he just thinks it's bad cause of all the bad press it routinely endures. Once again try to educate but if he sticks to his beliefs and wants you to cut back, and if you are unwilling, then you gotta cut him loose. Life is too short for resentment in a relationship. Good Luck.
     

  8. ^I couldn't give any better advice. While it's WAY different, I tried to educate my mom about it and she wasn't receptive to it. Sometimes, it happens. it depends on what YOU want n how much u want to let go for it. If it was me dating a guy/girl who had issues with it, I'd sit down and try to compromise. It goes both ways, if he really wants to b with u then he'll accept it but u would need to tone it down. If u smoke, I don't really give a fuck but everything needs to be in moderation :)
     

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