So, I was mean to someone today. I used to be witty and sometimes kinda mean (pretty much only to those above me on the social ladder and below me on the IQ charts.) I was vaguely egotistical, but really only against stupid people. Yes, I know how bad that sounds. I still wasn't mean very often, even then. I just said what I thought, and it was occasionally hard to hear, and sometimes pointier than I had really thought about being. I really *wasn't* a bitch, except sometimes to bitches. Anyways, I'm not like that now. I don't say anything to upset anyone, really, and I mutter darkly under my breath when someone pisses me off, but I don't say a word. I went to a funeral yesterday, and in that zest of not-enough-time that comes from a big loss, I did the facebook thing and started to message some friends that deserve better than I've given lately. I had a friend at the funeral tell me that someone had posted some mean comments on a couple of my photos, which I didn't know about, having been logged out for months. Last night, I stumbled across a kind of rude comment from a chick that used to be friends with friends with all my friends, but had always been kinda rude and definitely standoffish to me. I penned off a reply that wasn't very nice. Like, I think I used the word hypocrite and mentioned duck tape. I felt vaguely guilty, but I was also feeling a little bit of 'be a little of who you used to be' and that fiercely anti-religion feeling that an atheist feels after a completely inappropriate funeral. She had just become JW, I think, (tried to convert everyone) when I first met her, but when the JW boyfriend and her broke up, she went back to 'normal' bible-thumping. I probably shouldn't have been on Facebook at all in my state, it's probably too much like drunk dialing. My husband read her original comment and also thought it was rude - in the way that you *might* say as a joke to some of your close friends, but obviously not nice to someone you only kind of know. I don't think I've seen her but two or three times (in passing) in the two years since I met her. Last I had heard, she was letting her dad try to screw a mutual friend of ours by blaming her damage on him. So anyway, that was longer than I meant it to be. I'm feeling bad that I might have actually hurt her feelings, but at the same time, she hasn't seemed to care about any of the times when she said questionable things in the past. My husband doesn't think I should e-mail and offer to take it down, he said, "What kind of response did she expect, posting that?" This is a weird ethical quandary for me - I have moved towards a point of putting others' feelings above my own, but I'm feeling sort of defensive and don't really know if that is wrong. Almost posted this in S&P, but decided general was more appropriate. Any and all advice requested.
Don't feel bad, what you should do is just cut her out of your life completely. Don't keep people around that just like to create drama. Some people actually think their lives should mimic what they see on TV, so they go around creating pretend drama to keep themselves occupied. What a world.
If the only thing you've done is post a comment over the internet, that is as far from mean as they get. It's nice how you consider that person's feelings that deeply, but compared to other "mean" things that happen to people by others in a frustrated state you basically gave her a birthday present.
