bf lies about smoking...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by kitty_k, Sep 17, 2009.

  1. I have been with my bf for almost 2 years now. 6 months ago he started smoking. I didn't know about it though until 2 months later caues he didn't tell me. He knows that i don't like smoking, but i tried to not make it an issue. I just asked him to respect me when he did it. . All summer he lied to me about smoking and was always rude and hurtful to me while he was high, or even just in general now that he smoked. He would blow me off when we had plans to go smoke instead. Sometimes he would tell me he was doing one thing when in reality he would actually be smoking. I just wanted honesty. I could learn to deal with him smoking, but not lying. 2 weeks ago, out of nowhere, he told me he was going to quite for many reasons (me being one of them). I have come to find out that he lied to me about quitting and has been smoking almost every night since he said he quit. When i asked him about it, he still says that he isn't smoking. he is lying through his teeth, even when i caught him red handed.



    HOW DO I GET HIM TO BE HONEST WITH ME??? I DON'T LIKE HIM LYING TO ME.
    i would rather know he smokes and i not like it, then have him lying to me almost every night. i want a bf who can at least respect me by being honest...

    any advice??
     
  2. first of all...what kind of person is mean when they are high?...no reason to put up with that...secondly...hes putting weed before his girlfriend...thats not cool he needs to get his priorites straight...tell him you dont mind him smoking AT ALL like it doesnt bother you whatsoever so he has no reason to lie to you about it...but you dont appreciate him putting a drug before his girlfriend. have you ever tryed smoking with him?
     
  3. Yeah, communication is what's missing.
    Talk to him and make sure he knows that you are accepting of it, so he doesn't 'fear' you knowing and lie. Be honest and tell him how it makes you feel when he goes behind your back.. like you're his parent.
     
  4. Hes lying about it because he knows you dont like it.Just act like you dont care anymore,hell,smoke with him.

    Blowing you off you to go smoke is different though,put your foot down about that shit,tell him you dont care if he smokes but dont blow you off to go do it.
     
  5. #5 kitty_k, Sep 17, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2009
    i can't be around the smoke cause of my asthma...... =/

    but i have told him i don't appreciate him blowing me off to do that. like if he is going to do it, then fine, just don't lie. for the past few months i have acted like i don't care anymore about him smoking, but his lying has become more intense still....

    i have talked to him many times about how him lying makes me feel, but he doesn't listen to anything i have to say
     
  6. marijuana is prescribed for asthma...it opens bloodvessels and allows oxygen to flow more freely :)

    edit: and to me it sounds like you guys need to take a break and let him figure out whats more important to him...you or weed...
     
  7. Lol yeah my friend has acute asthma and I got him blazed out of his mind one night.:hello:



    Also him getting rude and mean while hes high.WTF?I dont know anybody that gets that way.
     
  8. dont criticize him or hate smoking until you have done it TWICE and made you own mind up. I swore i would never smoke or do drugs and used to hate people that did.

    Now i will never criticize anyone on their own choices, whether i like them or not. Life is too short...
     
  9. Why stay with a guy who lies right to your face, doesn't listen to what you have to say, and is rude and hurtful to you? That's doesn't sound like boyfriend material, in my mind. He seems like a total jackass from what you're saying.
    Is he really worth staying with and putting up with his bullshit?

    if you replace "smoking" with "drinking" he sounds an awful lot like an alcoholic.
     
  10. #10 Hilikus, Sep 18, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2009
    Well, maybe he didn't know what to do and posted here asking for advice, where many people probably either told him to dump you or to smoke behind your back because you'd never know the difference ... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

    [Obviously I'm not being serious, but if you look even on the first page of threads in this section you'll probably find an example of this.]

    My personal opinion is that when people start to lie about something, no matter what it is, even if it's weed, it's a problem. When someone feels like they have to lie about when/how often they do something, it's an indicator that they know they're in the wrong, and lying is their defense mechanism.

    I think you should have a serious talk with him and explain that you'd rather have him be honest and smoking than lying and smoking since he's obviously going to smoke either way. Explain that he's making it very hard for you to trust him, plus you should definitely express that you don't like his attitude when he's high. You'd think that weed chills everyone out, but I actually have a friend that picks the stupidest fights with her boyfriend, but only when she's high for whatever reason.

    But, keep in mind that if you really mean that you'd rather him be honest about it you shouldn't tell him off every time he is honest about it, because that will discourage him.

    And yeah, I'm gonna throw this stereotypical stuff in, but maybe you should try it if you haven't. Smoke with your guy, listen to some music, maybe watch a movie and/or mess around a bit... you might enjoy it, which makes it better for both of you since you'll be able to relate to one another a little better ;)

    EDIT
    I just read the bit about your asthma, my friend (ironically the one that picks fights with her boyfriend) also has asthma but it only bothers her when she smokes blunts, so if you use glass (especially a bubbler/bong) you should be a-ok.
     
  11. for what it's worth i've had asthma my whole life and i smoke every day.
     
  12. Why should anyone listen to you, you crazy fucking vagrant?
     
  13. Haha ahh brings me back to great memories of getting dumped several times for smoking behind girlfriends backs. I was too big of a "pot head" even though I was the same exact caring person towards them and never did a thing wrong. Gotta love people thinking your a druggie for piffing eh?
     
  14. no reason really, i guess for the same reason you would listen to anybody.

    or was there sarcasm there i didn't detect..?
     
  15. O hay vagrant fancy seein you here.

    Sarcasm was detected.
     
  16. This, worded perfectly.

    I would like to add, if you think that you would like to maybe try smoking just a little with your boyfriend, just to see what its like, definitely use a bubbler or a vape (if you can locate one). Vapes tend to cost money but I would consider buying one for my first time if I had asthma, the reason being I would want to take any precaution about it that I feel would give me the best outcome. Just as when I first tried hallucenogens I made sure I was where I wanted to be, when I wanted to be, with enough food and a dose I was comfortable with I would want to do the same if I had an opportunity to plan my first experience smoking for the first time.

    Think of it this way, its probably healthier for your boyfriend to use a vape and since its not really heavy smoke that would be good for you too, given that you like the effects.

    Good luck, tell us how it goes!
     
  17. #17 vagrant, Sep 18, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2009

    yeah... well it's hard to tell sometimes unless there's a ;) or something next to it... or maybe i just lack social skills.

    edit: and op, if you don't wanna smoke, you could always try edibles if you wanted.
     
  18. No you're a cool mother fucker I just know Hilikus is a really nice girl that posts on here and she wouldn't diss you or anyone for no reason, but she would joke around about it.

    You're on bs right?
     
  19. word, haha yeah that's what i figured.

    nah dude, it ain't me. seems a lot of different people use this name around the internet, that's like the third time someone's recognized my name from another forum or something. but at least whoever else is using it is apparently a cool motherfucker, haha.
     
  20. Bahaha shit, well that makes you one cool mother fucker too then man :hello:
     
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