So my parents have been seperated since i was 5, I am 18 now. Things have been weird my whole life, i lived with my great grandparents, and now i take care of them. I haven't had as good of a relationship with my dad as i have with my mom. When i ever needed a parent, It was my mom. My dad is flakey and hard to get a hold of, but lately i have seen him a lot; ive spent memorial day weekend with him going to idaho, and im supposed to go camping with him for the fourth, AND he bought me soundgarden tickets for my birthday, so i will be with him then. I skyped my mom (pathetic right?) and talked to her this evening, we discussed how much ive been seeing my dad, and how little ive been seeing her (not really though, i still see her on a weekly basis). She asked me what my plans where for the fourth, and i told her i was planning on being with my dad. we talked about what i stated above, and she began to cry! What am i supposed to do? Should i ditch the trip with my dad to be with my mom or should i just go camping and forget about it. I know not that many people, if any will read this but is helps.
That's tough, it's a decision you're going to have to keep making throughout your life and it doesn't really get easier. The only way I've been able to deal with it is try to give them equal parts of my time. If one parent asks before the other, usually I solidify the plans right then and there, and if the other asks me, I've already got it figured out. If neither of them bring it up, I'll consider who I've spent more time with recently and make the decision based on that. That stuff being said, occasionally my dad fuckin pisses me off and gets mad at me if I don't drive 4 fucking hours to go see him. When he does that, I just tell him to fuck off for a while.
ur mom should understand that you've never had a solid relationship with your father and you want to build one, you should discuss this with her. theres tons of holidays in a year, and theres tons of years to come, no reason you cant enjoy one with your father.
Your mom was wrong to do that and put that emotional burden on you. Part of parenting is growing up and controling your emotions around your kids so you don't saddle them with your own baggage. Sorry she did that to you.