So my girlfriend of 4 years has started texting this guy from her new job. He's a married dude who has been talking to her about how unhappy he has been in his marriage and all of this other stuff. She's been telling me everything about this dude, how she thinks he's a whiny bitch, and we've been laughing about it. But now they've been texting each other a lot and I got really jealous when I saw his name pop up on her phone earlier today. I've talked to her about it, and she's told me that nothing would ever, ever happen with this guys, saying how I'm much more of a man than he is and how unattractive he is (he does look a little goofy), and even offered to cut off communication with the guy because of how I felt. She explained that he doesn't have anyone to talk to about his problems, but in my opinion whenever a guy talks to a chick it's usually because he wants to tap some ass, not because he wants a gal pal. Anyway, she doesn't really have many friends, and I don't want to be a jealous douchebag who controls who she talks to, but am I right to be a little upset about this? I don't want to ruin our relationship but at the same time I can't help but feel a little jealous. Anyways thanks for reading. Cheers.
If she know it bothers you and she really does think the least about this guy as she says then she should have no problem cutting off communication. It really isn't a good situation to be in the first place since they work together.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Still a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I either end up appearing controlling which might lead to resentment on her part, or I build up resentment over time for her. Of course, I've had a few bowls to smoke now, and I could just take the I don't give a shit route about it. If anything is really going to happen with her there's nothing I can do about it anyway, so I should just relax. But if she starts texting that guy in front of me when we're spending time together I'm going to put an end to that right quick. Being jealous is one thing, but that's crossing a line and I'd be a bitch if I let that happen. Thanks for the reply bud.
That's your bitch bro why would she need to be texting another dude casually in the first place? Nip that shit in the bud.
He is trying to bang your chick by telling her all about his problems about his marriage...just slowly trying to reel her in. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
Kay....couldn't read any of that. Why not just like to the website? But in all sincerity, I very much doubt it.
No. I have an actual computer and the text on that is tiny. So far you've presented me unreadable text, not facts. Even if it were a "fact," believe it or not, you can be sexually attracted to a person, without ever having a sexual relationship with them, or even remotely attempting. And just because you're sexually attracted to someone, doesn't mean you even necessarily want to have sex with them. It's called self control and not being a cheating asshole. Contrary to apparent popular belief, men can control their cocks. They don't have to have sex with a woman. That's ridiculous.
He is trying to weasel your bitch and she is letting him sniff her tail. Be prepared to pack her shit up and drop it off at his place.
Even if he's trying to reel her in -- and it's a total possibility -- trust is eventually a game you've gotta play. You can't keep her in a box and then be able to say "I trust this woman", and trust is a big deal for any relationship.I think you, OP, have the right idea -- she's done nothing wrong yet, and it needs to be up to her to decide where that friendship goes. If he propositions her and she says no, then you know you've got a keeper you can trust. If she bites, then you've learned she isn't trustworthy and the relationship was doomed from the start anyway. Give her a chance to do the right thing (IF there's anything to be done; it may never go anywhere). If you take that choice away, you'll just drive yourself crazy the next time she's friendly with a guy (at best) and/or fill her with resentment in the meantime (at worst).
I inderstand you 100% but honestly do we really need people in our lives that would let it get to that point? Especially when it's something so easily avoidable and since she thinks the guy is SUCH a pussy she shouldn't mind
But she's not responsible for Whiny Guy's feelings or interpretations of her friendship. What you're saying is that she should have predictive insight into his motives and end a friendship based on a hunch, particularly because her boyfriend is jealous. That's not fair. Whiny Guy's feelings are his responsibility, and if he disrespects the fact that she's in a relationship, that's when she's got the responsibility to say no. But beforehand, you're asking her to take responsibility for a whole lot of conjecture that may not be grounded in reality.Don't know about anyone else here, but if a relationship with any person essentially translated to, "You may not have any male friends" (and over half my friends ARE male, including my best friend outside my husband), that person would be ancient history. Because not only does that exert control over who I get to be friends with, but it loudly proclaims "I can't trust you." And I'd be pissed about that if I'd done nothing to demonstrate that I wasn't worthy of trust. Personally, I prefer that the trust in my relationship gets a workout every now and then. Before then, it's all academic, because you can say you trust someone til the cows come home, but when the rubber meets the road and you more or less tell her who her friends can and can't be? Then trust is for shit. I could understand if she was disappearing and not telling him, or acting secretive ABOUT the texts. But so far, it sounds like she's been open about it all.