bear fight

Discussion in 'General' started by Spacetruuper, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. recently ive begun thinking about what i would do if i got into a fight with a bear. Mostly because i read about human bear encounters that end epicly. Its not like i want to go out starting beef with bears but like, if one were to attack i think about what i would do.
    I think i would try to get it in a headlock and choke it out, because even though theres like a .000001% chance of that working the newspapers would say "Boy chokes bear to death" and my life would be complete, also i think grabbing by the jaw and tearing it apart would be wayy to badass.

    I feel terrible for having these violent thoughts, but oh well i can't help where my mind wanders
  2. Do it like they do in Russia if you wanna be a real man and feel surged with testosterone!
    get a U or V-shaped pike and when it runs after you, push it up by its neck and have a spear or knife in your other hand and rapidly stab it in the heart area til it drops
  3. Are you serious man? Go to google and type in bear attack.

    The images you'll see will definitely scare you outta this dumb idea that you can actually choke a full sized bear to death.:rolleyes:

    Unless you have a gun on you, you wont stand a chance against a bear.
  4. just stick and move, stick and move
  5. Well if you could get on the bears back im pretty sure choking him out would work fine.

    I mean how is he going to get you off his back? Pull some reverse bodyslam shit?

    No... because hes a fucking bear.
  6. [ame=]YouTube - John West Salmon "Bear Fight" ad[/ame]

  7. That made me laugh so hard i almost puked. gg, sir.
  8. QFT I'm still laughing as I post this. It took a couple seconds before it really hit me though.

    But in all honesty, haha yeah, the bear definitely WOULD pull some shit like that, go stick something to a dogs back, first it might run around in circles (except your riding a fuckin bear), then it'll probably rub up against something, and eventually it'll roll on its back to get it off. Not to mention the hole "back leg can reach it's head" thing and would rip your arm in half.

    In all honesty, your best bet if a bear has got you pinned is to grab it's head and dig your thumbs into it's eyes, not like push on em real hard, like dig the tips of your thumb into the corner and pop it's eyeballs out of its head, so at least you'll have the pride and satisfaction of knowing if that bear doesnt fuck off after an eye gouge and ends up killing you, at least it'll die too, cuz being blind and surviving in the wild doesn't work out to good, his death will be slow and painful of starvation/dehydration.
  9. Manswers did a thing on that. They said the art of Hikuta could take it down. I call bs on that. The only way to win with a bear for sure is with a .50 cal round into his forehead (or down his mouth while he's growling at you)
  10. Yeah you need to have some high caliber or aim at another vital area, bears' foreheads are notorious for being pretty sloped from staring straight on at it. You could shoot at it straight in the head and it would just slope off, pissing off the bear more.

    I'd trust the Russian way. They know bears. :laughing:
  11. The Russian way CAN work, but you need to hit him with the pike in the right spot, and be strong enough to hold onto it.

    Only Russia's toughest dudes ever try it man, and its risky as fuck.

    I'd rather just cap him with my .338 Winchester, that'd take him out of the picture pretty quickly:wave:
  12. I'd seduce the bear.

    Love conquers all. :ey:

  13. im not saying i think i could kill a bear, i think i just want to feel really manly and testosteroned
  14. Fuck that I would just snap its neck
  15. Anyone seen a movie called "The Edge" with Anthony Hopkins? It's about a man eating bear that hunts them in the woods when their plane crashes...shit is pretty epic. :D
  16. fuck this has to be one of the funniest things i have ever heard
  17. If a bear ran up on me, this is how it would happen

    [ame=]YouTube - Mamoru Takamura defeats a bear[/ame]

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