This dude from Alabama has a friend that's a lifeguard on a local beach. He goes to visit him one day. They both have on the traditional speedo bathing suit. Ya know the one, you can tell what religion a guy is in one of these things. Very form fitting! The dude from 'Bama notices that all of these beautiful women coming up and flirting with the lifeguard. It's driving him crazy! So implores the lifeguard to tell him his secret. "It's quite simple", he replies. "I just put a potato in my swim suit." The dude leaves the beach and rushes to the nearest store and buys a sack of potatos. He picks the largest of the bunch and heads back to the beach. This time strolling down the beach, the women are still hitting on his friend, but they are still ignoring him! What's worse, some people are actually pointing and laughing at him! He taps his friend on the shoulder. "I thought this would help me! This is even worse than before!" His friend made a quick inspection and replied, "Maybe you should try moving it around to the front."
I had to stop reading at the speedo bathing suit. I'm sure it was a funny joke but I had to look away!!!
Don't nobody from Alabama wear a speedo except some damn snowbird who retired here. Our prefered bathing suits are cut-off jeans for the guys and thong bikinis for the women folk, just like in Oklahoma! And yes I predict a victory for the Crimson Tide over the Boomer Sooners come the second game in September. Better lock up your wife, daughters, and momma when the Mighty Pachyderms roll into that state. Our players keep most of their alumni pay-offs and signing bonuses to pick up chicks when we travel out of state.