Last weekend I was in a restaurant bathroom. While in the stall to reload my Thermovape, the damn door opens. It's this creepy dude I had seen at the bar. The fucker didn't even apologize!
Some of these stories are great! I have an intense fear of public restrooms, and try to avoid them at all costs. I think the biggest awkward moment I had was back when I worked at Best Buy, I had to use the restroom. Well there's this chick (bitch) in my department, who consequently was in the handicap stall (I could see her shoes when I walked in). I sat down to pee, and that's when she began grunting, because apparently she had to strain pretty hard to shit. Idk. So hilarious. I hurried out of there to tell everyone else in our department.
Once a friend of mine was really sick. chronic coughing, diarrhea, headaches etc. He sat on a toilet in a beach pavilion, crapping his bowels out (oh man it was bad). But suddenly he had to cough really bad; so bad he had to puke (that happened alot then). There was nothing to puke, so he turned around and puked right in the toilet. The intense diarrhea was over at that moment, but because of the muscle contractions caused by puking, alot more came out. He crapped over the entire floor. We made sure we got the fuck out of there, before anyone would notice it and had us clean it up (sorry cleaning lady)
some dude dropped that at my school and last night my friend was like "yo guys listen to this" and went to fart real loud and diarrhea'd all over his pants
When I was in the Navy the toilets on our ship would always clog up. To fix the problem the guys who were responsible for the sewer system would literally hook a fire hose up to the pipes and blow whatever it was that was clogging them up back out of the toilets. So, one day I opened up the door to the restroom about to walk into it and saw three guys in hazmat suits kicking around a turd on the ground laughing hysterically saying "Its the size of a coke can, can you believe it," with shit water spewing everywhere out of the toilet. I just slowly closed the door and went to find a different bathroom. Lol, that reminded me of another story. So when we pulled into port they would have to empty the sewage tanks by pumping it all through a hose into a truck with a tank on the back that was on the pier. Well we were in the middle east at the time so there were these two middle eastern guys working the hose and filling the truck. They apparently would just drop the hose down into an open hatch at the top and tie it to the hatch so it didn't fall out. Well it fell out after they started pumping shit water through it and it just started going crazy flipping all over the place and spewing the stuff everywhere and on everybody walking nearby. I was on watch on the quarterdeck on the ship where the ramp came onto the ship, and the guy who was on guard on the pier side of the ramp started running onto the ship to escape the spraying and I yelled jokingly at him "don't abandon your post" and he paused for a second to rethink it just in time to get dowsed in shit. Needless to say he was pissed at me, lol.
I used to be a janitor a year or 2 back. Here is one of my worst discoveries Notice the shit stained tighty whiteys and the floor. WORST. DAY. EVER. I quit that job no too much longer after that
I remember in high school having a few teachers who would come and pee next to you in the urinals and try and strike up a conversation. I can remember even getting patted on the back once or twice, like wtf? Some shit you just don't do..
man, if i would have seen that, I would have quit right then and there. one look and, "fuck this job."
When me and my friend were 14 we were just chilling riding our bikes around town and had to stop to take piss, so we lean our bikes out side and he opens the door, now the main door is one that can be locked but its not a single use bathroom if that make sense, so we walk in and there is a dude getting blown by some chick on the sink, I was like :S , to make matter worse we still continue to piss but it was the most award experience ever all they did was zip up and she took a swig of mouth washed and pced, I remember think Wtf girls Arnt allowed in the men's bathroom!
[quote name='"Feelin Light"']Alright, so this is my awkward bathroom experience... I think was around 9-12 years old I don't really remember my exact age. Anyways I was camping with my friend and his family at some campsite, we were in an RV so it wasn't really camping but w/e. Before dinner i realize i really have to shit, so i go to the bathroom(not in the rv thank god) and its a decent ways to this bathroom so by the time i get there im thinking that im not guna make it... I go to the last stall and dont have time to sit down or put anything on the seat, i get my pants off as far as i can in the time i had before i was going to explode. my pants are about half way down and im at a 45 degree angle to the seat, not even sittin on it. when i have the worst diarrhea ever. that shit just explodes out everywhere, luckily no one was in the bathroom, but i made a fucken mess, some was on the walls and shit i dont even know how. so i try to clean myself up as best as i can.. When im walking out of the bathroom, i look down at my leg and realize i had poop all over the back of my leg, so im like fuck and go back in to clean up again, the stall looked disgusting... Anyways i make it back to the Rv where they are eating, i sit down and start to eat, my friend was commenting how it stunk like shit, i tried to play it cool and say it was the broccoli that smelled. After dinner my buddy goes to take a shit, and of course notices, and im pretty sure him and his whole family knew it was me, but i denied that shit for days... Yeah pretty fuckin awkward.. [/quote] Hahahahah great story man!
I was rolling this stanky ass sour diesel in my community center's washroom and a cop walked in I knew it was a cop cause he was sniffing the fuck out of the washroom and would not leave. I had a half O on me and was thinking about fishing it down the toilet but I love my weed too much so I eliminated that off my options. So 25 mins pass by and this go guys and on those 25 minutes I didn't fucking move but after he left Iwaited 5 minutes and just speed walked the fuck out of the washroom and exited the community centre as fast as I could. Luckily I wasn't caught but that cop knew for sure that I was rolling that bomb shit
i've walked in on a couple bums shooting up in a coffee shop bathroom...not awkward but not something you see every day.
I got one, I stopped off at a taco bell I think it was once and I had a friend with me. Well I only stopped because I had to use the bathroom so horribly bad, and midway through taking a dump my friend opens the door and starts making the cartman noises when he goes to juvi and is pushing the tic-tac throw out of his ass. I didn't feel awkward, just really funny.
I got two good ones When I was in middle school I was pissing at a urinal and the principal walks in. Out of probably 6 empty urinals, this bastard picks the one right next to me and looks over and asks "So how are you today?". I was so thrown off by this I couldn't even reply, I finish my piss, zip up my pants and just walk out. Rest of the year he stared at me like I was a madman. And in a bathroom in the Kansas City Airport, completely empty and this guy in a stall lets out the most long and high pitched fart I had ever heard, I start to chuckle to myself and this guy goes "Hey... Stop it.." This makes me laugh even harder and he goes "Its not funny man!". I ran out of there laughing my ass off.