are you really loving?

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by Cos Mic, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. (demands a tough look at myself)


    can you really be loving someone if you are trying to control or change them?
     
  2. trying to change who??
     
  3. well, u can focus on the specifics if u like, i was looking more for the fundamental truth.


    anyone.


    everyone!

    ?
     
  4. I dont think you can...
    Loving is allowing others free-will and happiness, not controlling or manipulating them.

    Loving does not = Intimacy
     
  5. I feel like I change people by creating metaphors and symbolisms that play into their current and life situations, which is often a lie or an illusion.

    Its like pointing and going, "There's your weakness." without them knowing.
     
  6. If you love someone you can suggest things you might not want them or want them to do, but forcing someone to be something they aren't so they fit your needs isn't love.
     
  7. By that logic, no parent truly loves their kid until they are 18 and out of the house. You're not really saying that, are you?
     
  8. you can love people in all kinds of ways, both good and bad. Not really commenting beyond just saying yes, it is possible. Therefore it is more important to decide if is worth continuing?
     

  9. Im talking about love between two partners not parents/child
     

  10. I was responding to the OP, not you, sorry. :eek:
     

  11. well, its hypocritical. wouldnt you want the one you love to be happy?

    i just watched the david wilcock vid you posted in another thread, he said the same thing.
    very inspiring.
     
  12. if u try change someone then u dont really love em.
    there many different kind of loves. for this one
    love means u accept their personality, their ways, how they are and so forth.
     
  13. To love someone requires an understanding of who they truly are at the core of their being, if you give assign them a conceptual image you want them to turn into rather than realizing and accepting who they truly are then this is not love, it is a role you are assigning them to please yourself.
     

  14. I kind of feel this way. I've been dependent on my mother for a long time. I feel like my mom can't truly love me because I take from her without giving back. She says she loves me, but I haven't given her any reason to. She just loves me for being me, but I'd rather become truly independent, buy my freedom.
     
  15. True love doesn't need a reason. She will love you just the same in whatever attempts you make to 'buy your freedoms'. The act of giving does not need to follow with an action of receiving. This is true unconditional love. Your mother probably wants you to realize this and accept it. If you feel that you need to give her something in return, nothing would make her happier as a mother than to instill this unconditional love onto you and have you show it to others.
     
  16. If a person needs someone to conform to their logic and to their way of thinking, doesn't that represent a shortcoming or need in the demanding person?
    I think that eventhough a person may live out their life being controled, I can't help to think that at some point in their life they will feel unfulfilled. What happens at that point?
    This is a good question, and having the advantage of years behind me now, I really think it's good for people to marry older. There were certain understandings I did not have and conclusions I could not reach until life beat me up a little. That's when I turned.
     
  17. #17 Cos Mic, Nov 30, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2008
    ((i was only asking a question. there as no statement intended to be infered through the asking.))


    this raises a good example.



    i know many parents who dont force their kids.


    ... and many who do to varying amounts and consistency.




    is it "tainted love"?


    love, but still rehashing treatment they recieved from previous echoe of social meme sharing?

    i was almost about to write "toxic meme sharing", but know toxicity is most often only a matter of quantity, and some of these memes may simply hove outlived their usefullness.


    so perhaps yes, there is love still there...

    ... my thoughts reminding me of the saying "love is everything" and "all is love" and so on.


    ...but maybe it's just not the most loving.



    i wonder now if my original question would have been better represented as :

    "can controling behaviour be done out of love? can love be the causal/guiding principle to domineering will-bending actions?"


    perhaps i am revealing the difference between care* and love.

    *the kind from compassion and empathy**.

    **the being able to put yourself in their possition kind.


    --edit2--
    thinking back to what someone said about love just being energy (a dangerous oversimplification when said like that imo), and how some of these aparent acts of "Tough Love" may infact be, as you say, to fullfill shortcomings, to gaurd against fears, eg ones seen in the self, and projected and reflected back, giving the apearance of the cause for the actions in question.
    +edit3
    was thinking more on the natural open evolution of the cosmos, it's anarchistic qualitys, the ways in which it is anrachistic.

    i was also thinking about multiple modalities simultaneously.

    i started to see how it is that we're already permitting pockets of non-permissivness within the permissive whole.

    and how this is also a similar analogy my computer shows me. on many levels.

    i can run my window manager in my desktop environment, but i can also run my desktop environment in my window manager. i can run a virtual machine's entire desktop as my desktop background. i can even run virtual machines inside my virtual machines!

    i could have posted this personal clarification of revelation anywhere, but this was the link that came up in the browser address bar auto complete so i let it be so, because it does fit.

    sometimes, shit just starts to make more sense to you after a bong. :)
     

Share This Page