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Apprentice Tokers' Guide to Bud Quality, Quantity, and Pieces

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by Phased, Aug 6, 2008.

  1. #1 Phased, Aug 6, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 17, 2009
    Hello GrassCity!

    So, you're new to smoking?

    First off, I'd like to give you a warm welcome to GrassCity!
    We thank you for visiting our wonderful community here and hope you enjoy your stay.

    Secondly, I'd like to give you a big thank you for reading this guide, and guides in general here at GrassCity. Literacy and competence are treated with only the highest regards at GC!

    Enough with the welcoming party, let's get down to business!

    So, you've just started smoking and you're wondering what kind of new piece you should get. Honestly, you can't smoke out of that Gatorade bottle taped to a 12mm socket forever!

    Not only that, but Shady Sanchez sold you "1/8th of some Kush" and you're not sure if you got played for a fool.

    You've come to the right place!

    We'll go ahead and learn about Bud Quality awareness first.

    First, know that strain names are usually made up.

    The only way you can be sure that a strain name is legitimate is if you've received your Marijuana from a dispensary or straight from the grower. Also, obviously, if your dealer is close with the grower. Don't be afraid to ask.

    This time, though, you're buying for the first time. You'd like to know if what you have is actually some dank or if you were scammed.

    Before we go into visual checkpoints for your bud, I'm going to explain a little bit about Bud Quality Assurance Nouns.

    These are quite controversial as of late, so I thought I'd go ahead and clear some stuff up.

    Everyone has their own set of Bud Quality Assurance Nouns, but most people misuse them.

    Also, generally there are no 100% correct Bud Quality Assurance Nouns, but here's the set we'll be using for the remainder of this guide:

    Schwag - Mids - Beasters - Fire

    There are, however, incorrect Bud Quality Assurance Nouns. These are the most misused words in the world of Marijuana, guaranteed.

    Dro is short for Hydroponics. This BQAN is often misused to describe Beasters. This is completely incorrect!

    Hydroponics - A method of growing plants using mineral nutrient solutions instead of soil.

    So, as you can see, Dro is used to describe the way the Marijuana was grown and has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the Marijuana itself. You can have hydroponically grown Fire and hydroponically grown Mids. Obviously, both are completely different.

    Also, the word Kush is very often used to describe Fire, although this is also completely incorrect!

    Kush - Marijuana originating from the Hindu Kush mountain range located between Afghanistan and Pakistan.

    Although usually, if someone is selling you "Kush" it's going to be pretty Fire. There is a very small chance that you can get your hands on some industrial Kush. This type of marijuana will be equal in quality to that of Mids.

    So, to prevent you from ever overpaying for 1/8th of "Kush," we're going to take a look at the visual checkpoints for the quality assurance of Marijuana!
    ____________WEED WARNING____________



    This bud will appear very crystallized and the "kief" will fall off very easily.
    Some of this excess "kief" may not fall through the screen in your grinder, as it should.

    Detecting Grit Weed:

    If a bud is applied to the tongue and leaves a sandy feeling, it is contaminated.
    A bud is shaken above the back of a CD and the resulting "kief" is pressed and dragged along the surface of said CD. If this action results in the appearance of scratches, the bud is contaminated.


    ____________WEED WARNING_____________


    Most easily identifiable.
    Sometimes referred to as Dirt or Bobby Browns.
    Plagued with seeds and stems everywhere!
    Always noticeably brown in color!
    Dry and very earthy smelling.
    Will taste almost nothing like marijuana.



    Sometimes referred to as Midgrade, Regs, or Thirties.
    Light brown or very dark green areas of coloration.
    Mostly contains seeds. Considerably less than Schwag though.
    Mids do not usually have hairs like Beasters and Fire. Rare in some cases of High-Mids!
    Almost no crystallization, expect a flat dark green color. Un-shiny.
    Slightly skunk-smelling, but not noticeably pungent.
    Still quite dry, although not as bad as Dirt.
    The taste will be more desirable than schwag including faint traces of actual marijuana taste.



    Sometimes referred to as "Dro."
    Slightly crystallized. Slightly shiny.
    Usually quite hairy, but pressed against the bud.
    Quite strong smelling, but not overpowering.
    More truly green, less yellow-brown in color.
    Usually extremely dense and compact buds.
    Seedless for the most part.
    Tastes noticeably like marijuana. Much more fresh and pungent tasting.



    Sometimes referred to as Dank, Piff, Headies
    , Flame, Crip, KB, Kine Bud, Kill, "Kush."
    Colors vary, usually very noticeably green. Can be any color of the rainbow.
    Sometimes hairy, not always. Hairs are can be protruding from the bud or compacted toward it.
    Very crystallized! Very very shiny!
    Very strong fruity, skunk, or pine smell.
    Can be fluffy or dense depending on strain.
    Will taste heavily of fruit, pine, or plain ol' marijuana. Very unique flavors exist.



    Well, now that you're well educated on the visual appearance of your bud, you need to know if your dealer gave you the correct amount.

    There really is no way to visually tell if you were given the correct amount of Marijuana.
    You can come close, but you will never be accurate.

    I'd like to mention that if you're reading this part of the guide, get a damn scale! It makes life easier.

    Look around at hobby shops, they even have metal key chain scales that will never break if used and stored properly and are always accurate! They're about $3.

    There really is no way to tell visually that what you were sold is what you have.

    However, here is a size comparison for 1/8th of Marijuana:


    I am only going to post one picture. From this picture you should be able to "eyeball" your bag and see if you've gotten ripped off or not.

    The scaling goes as follows, although there are also different Bud Quantity Assurance Nouns!

    Nickel* Bag, Nick* - 0.5 Gram Bag

    Dime* Bag, Dime*, Gram - 1 Gram Bag

    Cut, Eighth, Slice
    - 3.5 Gram Bag

    Fourth, Quarter - 7 Gram Bag

    Half O, Half Zip - 14 Gram Bag

    Zip, Ounce, O - 28 Gram Bag

    Dime - This doesn't always necessarily mean it's going to be a 1 Gram Bag. Dime traditionally means that it's a $10 sack, which may be more or less than 1 gram depending on the quality of bud.

    - This doesn't always necessarily mean it's going to be a 1/2 Gram Bag. Nickel traditionally means that it's a $5 sack, which may be more or less than 1/2 of a gram depending on the quality of bud.

    - Not listed! - Dub traditionally means that it's a $20 sack, which may be more or less than 2 grams depending on the quality of bud.


    Getting Ripped Off:

    There are several ways to protect yourself from getting ripped off:

    Buy a scale and bring it with you! Weigh that shit out in front of your dealer! Or ask your dealer to weigh it out in front of you. It's better to have your own though just in case he has an excuse as to why he doesn't have his on him. (Traveling with a scale enables you to be busted for "Intent to Distribute." Make sure you keep it hidden well and separately from your stash!)

    Know what you're talking about, or try to. If you sound ignorant, you are ignorant, and your dealer will take advantage of this. Know your Bud Quality Assurance Nouns and Bud Quantity Assurance Nouns!

    Try to get it through someone you know. The less shady your transaction is, the less likely you are to get ripped off.

    Bring someone with you that knows what the hell is up! It never hurts to have someone around who knows what they're talking about.

    Be nice! If your bag is short, confront your dealer kindly. If he runs away, take the loss. Remember, drug dealers are already breaking the law, why shouldn't they carry a weapon?







    Blue Dot
    Kind Creations
    Weed Star
    VIP Glass

    There are many more as well, this is just a small list.

    Bongs MUST be called water pipes when present in a head shop!

    Bongs can come in a variety of materials such as Glass, Acrylic, Ceramic and Bamboo.

    Chamber Clearing:

    Bongs can have sliders, or they can have carbs. A majority of cheap bongs have carbs, but this is not a telltale sign of quality, just a preference.

    Carb - A hole that you put your thumb over so you can create suction with your lungs in order to take the hit. You then release the hole to clear your smoke from the chamber.

    Slider - A bowl piece that is removed from the downstem or ash catcher in order to allow oxygen into your bong and clear the chamber.

    Bongs will come either Glass on Glass (GonG) or Rubber on Glass. This part is pretty self-explanatory. If your slider comes in contact with another piece of glass then your bong is most likely a GonG. If your slider has, or comes in contact with a rubber grommet, you don't have a GonG.

    A GonG bong will usually have ground glass joints. This is commonly misconceived as "frosted glass."


    Bongs use percolation as another type of diffusion, just another way to separate and cool down the smoke before it reaches your lungs!

    They can be percolated with a dome or a tree. The percolator is usually located in the neck of the bong. Although, can be located "fixed" at the bottom of a stemless bong instead of a diffused down stem. Can also be percolated several times in different areas.

    Tree Percolator
    - Classified by its many arms with small slits or holes at the bottom and is more widely used on many bongs.

    Dome Percolator - Usually less commonly found on bongs. Easily identifiable by a single dome with holes or slits around the entire circumference of the bottom.

    There are also a few other types of percolators in production. Disc diffusion percolators is one of them. Toro and Sovereignty are the main producers of percolator variations other than tree or dome.

    Downstems and Diffusion:

    Your bong's downstem can either be diffused or not. This part on a bong is usually diffused. This just means there are laser-cut holes or slits at the bottom which separate the smoke for cooling.

    Ice Catchers:

    Always found above percolators and splash guards. Catches the ice! I'm 100% sure this is self explanatory. If you don't know what an "Ice Catcher" is, it is safe to say that you should close out your web browser and never visit GrassCity again.

    Splash Guard:

    Simple, yet effective. Easily mistaken for a percolator, but upon close inspection is just a small dome, usually directly underneath the ice catcher. Does exactly what it says, guards from percolator splash. No one likes bong water in their mouth.


    Typically the part on the bong where the slider or ash catcher meets the beaker or bottom chamber of the bong. Joints will have different sizes, as with anything else, bigger is better.

    Ash Catchers:

    These guys are a glass aficionado's dream. They catch all the dirty ash from cleared bowls so that crap doesn't get your beautiful bong dirty.

    Ash Catchers are sometimes diffused. They have down stems and are usually filled with water before use. They are another means of smoke filtration, although sometimes negligible.

    Toro ash catchers, also known as Trashcatchers, are more commonly diffused. As well as Sovereignty ash catchers. Basically higher end ash catchers.

    Inline ash catchers are intricately designed artistic pieces with a sideways downstem, sometimes diffused. These pieces are exceptional at keeping ash out of your bong.

    Now we will go ahead and move on to the less glorious part of the Marijuana paraphernalia world.


    Often used for their portability. Single chamber with a carb.
    Come in a variety of materials.
    Also called Spoons!



    Filtered portability. Single, double, or triple chambered with a Carb.
    These pieces can also be diffused!
    Can get just as expensive and intricate as some bongs.
    These pieces are basically a water filtered pipe.
    Come in a variety of types such as Sidecar, Hammer, and Sherlock.



    Also called bats.
    Even more straightforward than a pipe. Just a straight piece.
    Known for their exceptionally large hits.
    Used for stealth smoking and being discreet.



    Decent ones are pretty expensive. Cheaper ones are okay, but not as great.
    Second healthiest way to get high, next to oral administration.
    Vaporizes your Marijuana, turning it into a Vapor. (Duh!)



    Straight shot tube.
    Gets you extremely high.
    Extremely harsh on the lungs.

    Basically a straight pipe with a bowl on top.


    [Dug Outs]

    Comes with a chillum to use.
    One compartment for ground bud.
    One compartment for the chillum.



    This section is for the miscellaneous types of pieces that you may or may not get see at your head shop.

    Waterfall Bongs
    Bucket Bongs
    Gravity Bongs


    The above are relatively the same concept with designs based on the user's preference.




    Gas Mask:

    This gets you exceptionally high!


    I'd like to personally thank you again for reading my guide.

    I hope you have left this thread with a considerably plentiful amount of knowledge.

    • Like Like x 3
  2. good guide

  3. Awesome guide mate, +Rep for that.
  4. Great job, bro! I enjoyed your guide.

  5. Glad to hear I helped out a newcomer!

    Also big thanks for the reputation and good words from Vicious and ElendGold!
  6. there are some flaws in your descriptions but this is a good guide.

    mids DO sometimes (usuallly in my case) have some hairs.

    and kush is a group of strains, rather than a name for good weed.

    those are just two i noticed sorry for bitching.
  7. This is pretty well written ++rep
    Come check out my guide(which was the first one written on Apprentice Tokers :p)

    This saves me from having to write about pieces/joints though :smoke:
  8. First off, I'd like to say, AWESOME POST! :D

    A side note regarding piece material: Glass, metal and stone pipes get really hot. (I actually broke my first glass pipe because it got so hot that I dropped it :cry:).

    I'd recommend a wood pipe for the apprentice toker's first piece, both for their portability and because they never get hot.
  9. That is the best guide I have ever seen.
    For anything..

    Awesome post dude.

  10. This will Help so many people out! +rep
  11. Great guide, very well done. :hello:
  12. great guide

    hopefully it will help everyone out that reads it

    i have been smoking for a half year now and i learned from it

    great job +rep
  13. And oh yeah.. STICKY :smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking::smoking:
  14. #14 Phased, Aug 7, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2008
    Fixed, thanks c20h25n3oIsGood.

    I did explain this in my post. So, I caught you not reading my whole post. :laughing:
    That's why "Kush" is in quotes under alternative names for Fire.

    And to all with kind words, thank you for them and the reputation!
  15. sticky :smoke:

    nice job man
  16. Yea i have been smoking for about half a year and this guide helped tremendously, and is very informative for my friends who have just begun there smoking journey
  17. this is fucking badass dude props for taking all the time and having all your facts legit bro.
  18. This is awesome man. I showed this to my girlfriend, as you explained the basics here better than I could.

  19. I'm tremendously glad that this is helping so many people.

    I've gotten more feedback than expected.

  20. This is pretty ignorant. Can you remove this from my thread?

    Thank you.

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