On one hand, it's the best thing ever. I don't get hurt easily. On the other hand, making friends are hard and harder to make stick (but I do have a good circle of friends) and it's even harder when it comes to women (though, I am engaged). I like being independent. And I love being generous. For example, a friend of mine I used to smoke with all the time was out of a job for 6 months and I smoked him up free every day, and I didn't mind one bit. When he could he threw in a couple bucks but all together it never tallied more than $20 over 6 months - but I didn't really care if it was $0 or $20. I recently was in a bad dry spell and he had some and he smoked me up twice, and I feel so guilty and I'd honestly rather not smoke than smoke his. The only thing in my mind is him thinking "that dude needs to get his own shit" when I go home and laying down to go to sleep. It annoys me, even though I know he probably isn't ... I still think he is. Though that just sounds like paranoia ... ha. But it goes to other things too. I had a few brews with friends and we got real chatty like we usually do and I spilled something personal to my BEST friend. Even though he is my best friend and I have told him SOME personal stuff, I don't like being open with people. Even though what I told him wasn't a big deal (I told him a year or two ago I had a huge crush on one of our friends) and he wouldn't tell anyone, I still hated myself because it somehow feels like because I opened up to him about something I'm less independent and he thinks less of me. But like I said, I've got an ego the size of an elephant. If someone says they're smarter than me, I say BS. If they say they can beat me in Madden, can't happen. I know I rambled. If it doesn't make sense I'm sorry. I just can't work on "fixing" it because I don't even know what's going on in my head exactly.
The truth lies in understanding the truth of all viewpoints, even the extremes. So, in a way, you're right. You're an amazing person. You're better than them. They can never do what you can do. They're nothing compared to you. In another way, you're nothing. You can't do anything that hasn't been done, and you have nothing to offer to the world that someone else couldn't do better. The real truth is that you are no better or worse than anyone else in any way.
i get what youre saying, i love the feeling of being self-sufficient and it kills me to ask something from a friend, family memeber, stranger, who ever, but i dont see why youre bugging out about spilling something personal to your bud. you should be able to feel comfortable while expressing yourself in front of others.
I'm the exact same way. I don't talk about my feelings because I don't want people to think less of me. I doubt anyone who proclaims to be smart in general, much less smarter than I am. I had a hard time telling my friend that I had a severe crush on a girl too. Honestly, everything you said really hit home. My ego is so big that I have come to the conclusion that I am part of the top 5% of so of human kind, and I've rationalized it and justified it to the point where I can say that without any feeling that I'm kidding myself.
I used to have a rather big ego. Shit got burst so bad. It was good tho. Everyone needs a reality check. Although I must confess I'm terrible with video games, I have to win, every single time. It helps that I'm really good at video games tho, just have a natural aptitude for them. I still have to remind myself daily that I am fallible, that I make mistakes, and that everyone else makes mistakes too. It's tough man. But I digress.
Egos inherently get hurt easily. Apparently, all I'd have to say is 'I'm smarter than you' to land a direct hit on your ego. Just because you will act like this hasn't affected you in any way and will tell everyone around that I am not, deep down you will know it is your offended ego driving all your reactions. Your ego has created this false sense of pride that leads you to feel guilty about smoking someone else's nugs. You don't even care if people mooch off you, but your sense of pride makes you feel bad for doing the same yourself. This is getting hurt very easily... not to mention borderline delusional. Your pride prevented you from telling a friend that you had a crush on another friend... your ego has gotten so out of control you can't even admit to liking another person. Our species would not survive without liking the opposite sex. You have been told about 'the birds and the bees' right? It sounds like you did not tell this person you like them. Was that because you feared rejection? Did you watch someone you really like move along without ever letting them know how you feel because 'you're the man?' How does it feel? -- Up until I was about 17 I used to believe there were smart and dumb people. Everywhere I went, I was surrounded by morons... there were only a few intelligent people, and of course I was one of them. Then one day, something clicked. I realized there is only information. You either know something and can apply it to a situation or you can't. At no point does any such thing as 'intelligence' come into play. Since that day, I haven't met a 'smart' or 'dumb' person.
I've accepted the fact that I will never be as committed to any one game as the 12 year old on the other side of the internet, and have rededicated myself to losing hilariously instead of wasting so much effort only to lose. I'll try to win, but if I see that someone is far ahead of my aptitude in the game, I will focus on having fun instead of winning. My ego is huge and seems to exist mostly as an interior motive. It only shows outwardly mostly on the internet, where I just don't care what the anonymous masses think of me. I usually end up laughing at the cowardice of people who will accuse me of things but then run away from explaining how what they say is allegedly true. There are a lot of things I will do for fun, but only when no one is around. I hoard a lot of my life to myself, very private person. I wish it would change, and occasionally try to change it, but it's pretty damned hard to change your nature once it's set. I usually find that the changes I affect are only pretend. "Too big" for my own good, I doubt. My ego and personality are what they are. It isn't really hurting me or holding me back, I wonder sometimes what its like to be someone else but I'm not someone else and it's not that important to me. I get what I want out of it a reasonable amount of the time, and I doubt I could fairly expect more than that.
Not what you're talking about i don't think, but something that this reminded me of. The truly wise person is a dumb person. Because the person who knows the truth knows that he knows no truth, for there is no lasting truth to be known, other than the way which is all. Therefore, the only way you can truly claim wisdom is to understand that you know nothing, and are therefore dumb.
Dumb and ignorant are not the same things. Dumb people are unintelligent and unable to understand the meaning in information. They probably don't care that they're dumb or assume that they are smart, and are usually the kind of people who point at smarter people and call them idiots. This is usually the type of person who holds education in contempt. Ignorant people are only lacking in information, not necessarily unable to understand the meaning in it once it is known to them. It is possible to be both dumb and ignorant, but also possible to be both smart and ignorant.
*sigh* why do you always quibble? They're all just words. You know exactly what I meant. Some people are just so argumentative naturally.
"Only the fool thinks himself to be wise for the wise man knows himself to be a fool." One of my favorite lines. The thing is about all notions of intelligence, it's just your opinion. When you recognise intelligence in another this is only because you can understand what they are saying, thus you are just as intelligent as them. So if you say someone else is smart, you are just claiming that about yourself. The same is if you call someone dumb, you are just basing that off your understanding... which maybe fine, but then what happens when someone comes along calling you dumb? Where is the objectivity? There is little virue in notions of intelligence. At best we can use it to build each other up. 'Listen to this man, he is wise.' If he's got any wisdom to impart on another, this other person will recognise it for themselves. At worst, we create unnecessary divisions that have negative impacts on the collective peace of mind.
Exactly. If you really listen and you really try to align yourself with the all, you can hear wisdom everywhere. We're all wise, in our own ways.
Ego, too big? I grew up extremely privileged and now I think Im better than everyone else. yea, people love me, but nobody actually likes me.
Yeah, every situation is a learning opportunity. You either learn what you want to emulate, or what you want to avoid. Thus, everyone, no matter how intelligent, provides you with a chance to learn and develop yourself. Or as they say... "The wise man learns more from the fool than the fool learns from the wise man."
Exactly. And because we are learning to learn from everyone, we are becoming at one with everything, and yet what we are learning from everyone is our personal preferences, so we are becoming an individual. See how perfect it is?