I would like to be attractive and able to talk skillfully even with young kids. Anyone have any advice on how I could go about becoming this?
By the way, no I am not ugly, I care about my physical appearance and I do everything I can for myself. Sometimes I just feel like I can be better. A beautiful little girl came up to me as I was sitting at some greek festival today and offered me some jelly beans. I just said no I'm fine and she walks away, but I just feel like possibly some internal characteristics I've built up over time are sort of not allowing me to have as much fun with life as anybody should. I don't know, maybe I'm not missing out on much, but I do know being a better person (in a really cool way) is pretty awesome too.
Yeah man, she was obviously interested in you. You kinda blew it lol. The best way to get good at talking to people is through exposure. Go to a lot of social events, festivals, whatever and just talk to people. That's why they call the social skills, and not social knowledge. You can read to learn knowledge, but you must practice a skill. There's also a plethora of reading on social technique throughout the internet.
No pedobears here, third poster misread and ffs I am talking about healthy charisma, not some demented pussy magnet.
Take chances and step outside of your normal way of handling situation. Build confidence in yourself through self expression and not giving a shit what others say or feel about you. True intentions aren't always easy to discern but as the old saying goes : better to have tried and failed than to sit and wonder .
"a beautiful little girl came up and offered you jellybeans" dude sounds like she's like 5, this isn't the kinda stuff that should bother you haha. think of it as a blessing, you don't want to get known as the guy who's overly friendly/suave with kids in public fairs
I guess I can't blame anyone seeing as that was the only real life affair that I listed that sort of made me think about attracting people... It didn't bother me. It just makes me think like what if I can be more, a better person? I stay up most nights though, and I guess attractive people are well-rested though so...
haha yeah, I know what you mean. I was more just messing around. In that situation, simply saying yes would have probably instigated further interaction, always saying no tends to deter people (in some scenarios). again though, it was just a little kid, don't stew over it. I'd say for attracting people overall just be friendly and interested, and don't always ramble about yourself, you have to listen too. However, I'm kinda introverted so not so much an expert on the matter
Im confused. Was the female at the festival a child?? If she wasnt you shoulda been like "Hell yah I want some jelly beans!" even if you didnt
Was going to give advice, but then you basically told us you wanted to be a successful paedophile. Sorry not going to help you accomplish that.
Yes. Don't do it! Why? Because you are becoming what others want you to be. And you are doing it for approval. Just be yourself, and if others don't like you, fuck em!! If you become something you are not or dont like or have difficulty being, then you will hate yourself and hate others even more. I speak from experience. EDIT: I just read through the other posts. I think what you wanted to say was "younger kids" (ages 18-21). You have to be careful how you word yourself. Blades here will not hesitate to rip you a new one.
Old school nailed my opinion basically. Not everyone is a social butterfly and the grass isn't always greener. Once you accept yourself entirely so will other people. I've hated myself for my lack of social skills and my desire to limit the people I interact with. But it is who I am.
Maybe you're lacking an interest in life. If you found a large liking in the little girl, maybe you would have responded very charismatically. There's some things/people that I don't find interesting, or have much interest in, and it's hard for me to show much emotion when talking with, but little kids I enjoy, and it's easy for me to talk charismatically with them. I think you're probably capable of it. Most adults who are good with kids are that way because they love children. Some are better than others, but the ones that are shit with kids, probably just dislike kids. I feel.