So I'll try and keep this short. In 2010 I added a random girl on facebook whilst I was drunk. She lived in Central America and I live in the UK. She accepted and we started talking. We became friends and talked every so often. We became pretty good friends and she was an attractive latina girl. By about 2012, she told me she liked me a lot but I just told her "Of course you do, I like you a lot too, we're really good friends". But she was really meaning that she LIKE liked me. Since about 2013, we've been talking on a daily basis and tell eachother about our days and stuff. We skype every now and then and send photos of cool stuff daily. She is really cool. She moved from Central America to NC in 2013 to live with her sister and her sister's husband along with a few other family members of hers'. She talks about me to them all the time and now they are all my friends on facebook lol and even the little toddlers in the family know who i am from skype! She is the most caring person I've ever known and has a heart of gold. When it's our birthdays or christmas, we send gifts to eachother She has told me things she has never mentioned to anyone ever and we are extremely close. We argued a few weeks ago about what her long term plans were because she had told me she was coming to visit me this year, but then moved it to next with the plan of her moving in with me. But then she told me (Which she had never brought up before) that she was thinking of going to college next year for a FOUR year course. I was pretty pissed but knew I can't control what she wants to do so just told her that if she goes to college, we probably will never meet as I'm not waiting 4 more years just to meet her. She got extremely upset and cried all night apparently, and when I woke up, she had left me a voice message of her telling me she loves me... Which she has never said before because we both know how strong a phrase that is. I told her I THINK i might love her, but we've not met so I can't say it yet. She was really happy with my response. The only thing is, since she moved to NC, there is ALOT of guys that keep hitting on her and bombarding her with texts wanting to go on dates and things. It makes me really jealous. There has been at least 3 or 4 in the past year but she turns all of their offers down and tells them about me and screenshots sometimes (i don't ask her to). But recently, there is one guy who knows her cousins, who apparently is her "Friend". He gives her lifts in his car places etc. He gave her ROSES and CHEESECAKE a few days ago which made me kind of pissed. Not at the guy, but at her for even accepting such a romantic gesture from another guy. She didn't tell me until after she had eaten to cake. She knew how suspicious/anxious this made me and kept reassuring me he was just a friend... Yesterday she got all dressed up for some reason and sent me a photo of her looking really beautiful. She says she was going to her brother in law's mum's birthday meal. I told her to have a good time etc. When I woke up this morning, she told me she went to a nightclub after... with her sister, her cousins, and her brother in law.... and her "friend". So just to clarify, she was at the nightclub with her family, and an outsider guy who gave her a romantic gift just a few days ago, and really likes her. I confronted her when she told me and asked her if she thinks I'm an idiot to what's going on, but strangely her responses were light hearted and she immediately changed the subject and talked like nothing was even going on. Even know she knew I was upset. Am I crazy for thinking she's seeing this guy or could it actually be happening?
You can't expect to carry on an adult relationship like that online. If you aren't physically there at some point she will get lonely and fall for a man that's in a much closer proximity than you. If you don't step up and make a serious effort to make her your woman, another dude will. That's just life. Long distance relationships rarely work - esp when an ocean is between you. If you don't bridge that gap I wouldn't count on things lasting much longer.
It is cool to have a pen pal far away, try to see it for what it is, and that you are lucky to have this connection with her. If you love (or even just really really like) her, then let her live her life and be happy. You are both in the primes of your lives and should be meeting and dating many people.
I know dude, but we really have/had something, when I think about her with another guy it makes me feel like i'm dying inside a little, having waited so long to meet her already.
If she has normal life experiences, like flirting with handsome men that live near her, then she will be a more mature person (and a better lover ) if/when you do eventually meet her someday. I hope you are not using your far-away pen pal as an excuse to avoid normal social interactions, such as going out and having fun?
Yeah it could be happening, but that's not really the issue here, aside from it hurting your feelings. It doesn't really change anything, because if she goes to college for four years and you are thousands of miles away... it will be over anyway, like it or not. I'll get straight to point... If you love this girl and want to be with her, then pack your packs and move over there. If you don't want to move over there to be with her, then you will have to just settle for being friends and basically calling it a day (I'm sorry). But if you do love her and want to be with her and are prepared to move there to make it happen, you might have to make your move quickly. I don't mean to say you need to move straight away, but you need to tell her that is your intention and that start making plans, so that she knows that it is actually possible for you and her to be together, and that that can be a reality. She is probably entertaining this other guy because she thinks she can't be with you, even though deep down she probably still wants to be. Does that make sense? Warning: If she tries to stop you from wanting to move over there for her, then it might have already gone too far with this other guy.
She told me for the past 6 months that she's been saving to come here, and she told me now she's planning to come next june... which is a year. I just don't know man. Last time i felt this way over a girl and the sort of anxiousness was when I was 16 (6 years ago!) I don't know how i dealt with it, but weed seems to be helping right now
Unless you start making some concrete plans to get over there and see her you're just gonna have to tough it out when it comes to stuff like this ^ If she's a good looking girl guys are gonna be coming at her. Can't do anything about that. You want her, you have to act. I'd start trying to line up a trip to see her if I was you...and if she's not for it, time to abandon ship. Too many chicks in the world to get all caught up on one.
Roses AND cheese cake?? Yeah, he balls deep in that bro. But on the real tho, it's all been online, you can't take that very serious especially if yall live in different time zones
Not gonna lie he's probably hitting that. Live your life bro. She's basically a pipe dream at this point. Just have her as a backup plan should it ever come to fruition.
I'm going to take out a credit card and go and see in the next couple of months, fucking sick of money holding me back in life
Get her on Skype and tell her your intentions ASAP! See how she reacts. Don't be afraid to tell her why you are doing it; because you can't stand the thought of losing her, because she means so much to you and is so important. That is romantic as fuck. Make her feel special. If she is keen for you to go over there then great, do it! Don't be afraid of being shot down, deal with that if it happens, but don't let it hold you back from trying. Put your heart on the line. Don't let anyone tell you you are crazy, not even her. When I was winning the heart of my love, I did a lot of things that other people called crazy. I bought gifts I could barely afford, I wrote poems, I showed her that being with her was all I cared about, I did everything I could to make her feel like the most important person in the world. You have to leave all logic and your pride behind and just go for it when you heart says so. Sometimes you just know. Make sure you can afford to make your credit card payments though! UK to USA is what about £500 return flights or so? Research how and when to get the cheapest flights. Maybe you can get an overdraft instead of a credit card? Or could you borrow the money from family maybe and set up a payment plan with them instead of a credit card company? I would lend you the money myself if I had the money to lend you. I can tell your heart is in the right place. I really hope it works out for you.
If you don't have the money to go, getting a credit card isn't going to change that. If you can't pay the bill there's no fucking point
Thanks man, awesome reply! Well I told her I'd sell my car and maybe borrow money from my family just to go and see her, but she said she'd feel bad if I did that. And to be fair, yesterday I was panicking at the thought of losing her and acted really weird with her, which I think now, may push her away from me , leaving the other guy to play as the cushion and the strong one who gives her advice. I need to man the fuck up and give us both some room to breathe (but I'm scared if I give her too much room to breathe, he'll be there for her when I'm not). It's a really bad situation right now, and it's only happend in the passed few days, and we've been good for years! I was the one who's been acting all weird, she is just being her normal self and she's now probably confused because of me
I see some red flags here while reading through your posts. Not because of her but because of you. For obvious reasons long distance relationships rarely work out. Jealousy isn't a product of her infidelity but a product of your insecurity. 1. You don't own her. If she wants to have sex with someone she has every right to. It's her body and her life. She professed her love and you responded with a maybe. You can't build a relationship on maybe. 2. You got angry with her for wanting to improve her life and pursue a higher education rather than expressing support and delight at her decision. You insinuated her choice could prompt you to end the relationship. She went out and had fun WITH HER FAMILY and you shit all over her for it. I don't think you understand the Latino culture. Do you honestly think her family would allow any funny business with that guy while they were around? 3. Every problem you've had between you has been generated BY you. The problem isn't her. It's you. Your jealousy is going to be the destruction of this relationship.
OP got a case of oneitis, get this man a doctor quick! This is doing so much bro. And if you have to sell your car and borrow money and get a credit card just to see her, fuck it. Not worth it imo. Sounds like false hope
Incase anyone is reading this nearly a year on ... She moved to Cali to live with her mum and sister. I went over to meet her for the first time ever in October! She is now my girlfriend and I'm going back in August. She is coming here in January. Currently I am sorting immigration documents. To anyone who is in a similar situation, don't give up hope, anything is possible if you want it bad enough and aren't afraid to commit. Don't listen to the negative people and stay focused no matter what!
Hmmm...I used to live in NC...until I fell for some Latin chick, bought her roses and cheese cake, then fucked her brains out in a night club with her sister watching. Had to get the fuck outta dodge when Juanito (her sisters boyfriend) threatened to kill me. Btw my favorite part of this story was when you got pissed that she didn't tell you until AFTER she ate the cake.