Any advice appreciated...

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by RubyMini, May 7, 2011.

  1. so here's the scoop... me and my ex dated for something like a year and a half until the last week in march in which she said she had fallen out of love and didnt want to lead my on by staying in a relationship (apparently her revelation was just a few days earlier). so she dumped me.

    i took some peoples advice and tried to let her have space and to do her own thing and this has worked out for the most part. the part that hasn't worked out is since we have broken up i have been living this fantasy that we may get back together so i haven't really moved on...

    well last night my ex decides that she would enjoy smoking a bowl and watching a movie. well, she knows full well that the only tv with a dvd player is in my bedroom. well we start to watch a movie and are making small chit chat and what not when i "try to make a move" :eek:

    totally backfired... i feel like anyways. she tensed up and shiet so i went back to just lying beside her. after a few minutes is asked, "does it feel wierd? laying here, where we have so many times before." she felt skyward for sure. long story short i let her know exactly how i feel after 6 weeks has passed. basically i still love her to death and think about her everytime i go to sleep at night. i let her know that the idea of being just friends is really hard for me. i even said, "idk. its just.... like if you started seeing another guy i just feel like you and i couldnt see each other. it would be to hard for me." and she actually understood and was pretty cool about it.

    when she left and got home she texted me in response to something i said... "i really hope we can still be friends." later on she texted me goodnight and in a moment of weakness i replied, "goodnight. i love you. forgive me if that makes you feel weird." to which she replied, "it doesn't. i still love you too :)"

    now im thinking :confused::mad::(:eek: i just dont know how to go about this situation. anyone here at GC in a similar one or have some sort of anecdote to throw in hurr?
  2. I feel for ya bro same shit happened to me. My advice is fuck her bro I had the same problem I still loved my ex after we broke up I just decided to move on it gets easier I swear. I finally feel pretty good and have come to the realization the only person who can make you happy is yourself. If she doesn't want you don't stress somebody out there does. Also have some pride man don't let her play with your feelings it will only hurt you in the end (personal experience). Remember bro you have your whole entire life to find someone who will appreciate you. Be yourself and don't be afraid to move on I finally did and honestly I'm happier than I have ever been.
    sorry I wrote so much I am stoned as fuck right now and love to ramble on message me back to what happen -goodluck even though you don't need it
  3. Honestly "love" is something that needs to be worked on you don't just fall out of love. Is there something more you could have done (I'm not blaming you but something to think about). I would let her know that love is something you grow with, it doesn't just happen, two people manifest it's different aspects. I have been married for about 3 years now and was together for about 5 before and have come to recognize that my wife and I don't have anything metaphysical going on with love, we work on it together. My wife might have some better info for you from a gals perspective, PM me if you would like her to chat with ya.

    Love is an action, not a static emotion.
  4. Sounds like puppy love for sure.

    6 weeks might not be long enough depending on the duration of the relationship of course. But what you should do is just agree with her. You seem to keep pushing yourself back to her and shes just not gonna dig that. You just gotta back the fuck off even if its for forever.

    She may or may not come back but at least you're not wasting time. Judgement day is in two days brah
  5. what's good OP i am kind of in the same boat you are man, i'm still hooked on my ex, basically all the same shit you described, we were hanging out last night and im not gonna lie she is amazing, nothing i love more then holding her in my arms at night laying in bed, but as far as trying to make it work my only advice to you is try and keep it low key, and to NOT put all your cards on the table, yah your madly in love with her still, yah you can't let her go, yah you don't want to see her with another dude but you can't totally pour your heart out because then you are to vulnerable and she can manipulate you and wrap you around her finger, to me it is kind of like a good poker hand you gotta slow play it if you want to get paid and make some money, if that analogy makes any sense, but relax be there and wait for them to come to you, like last night my ex hit me up at about 1am i was passed out, she called me woke me up said she had been drinking wanted to hang out and she picked me up and i got home this morning i hadn't seen her in a week or two but last night was all i need to know it is still good! the trick is you slowly got to bring her back to that old love were she is stuck, im still working on it and it's been over a year, but it is not perfect and its not easy, but it is not at all bad either, i still love her she still loves me and we are not with other people it is a fucked up situation at the moment but for some reason i wouldnt change it for the world, sure i want her to be my GF again but when that does happen it will make it that much sweeter good luck man hit me up if you got any more questions but good luck and remember cool calm and collected and you will never fail with chicks
  6. this is why i still love GC. been lurking for years and you guys are great. my friends is 14 months clean from shooting dope and leads NA meetings now and he says that you just gotta say what is on your mind bc it may not mean a lot to you but what ya'll say makes me feel a lot better. i think i am just going to move the fuck on. mairuzu said it was puppy love and that doesnt offend me at all because im young and i think i agree now... still need time away from her though

    my dad told me that when he divorced my mom he had to sit on his hands and not contact my mom and he did that for 7 years.... i think i can keep it low key for a few months... shiet
  7. Haha bro. Id be a little creeped out if I was her in that situation.

    Anyway. Just move on. Don't think about her to much. I crushed on a girl for 3 whole years without even hinting I liked her. ( we were pretty good friends and there was the occasional flirting. )

    Still, I was kinda obsessed with this girl, I never made a move on her and I'm actually quite happy I never did. Anyway, I just stopped thinking about her, erasing her from my mind. Now I don't really give a fuck about her and everythings going great.

    But then again, your story is very different from mine. You were actually in a relationship, mine I just about a crush.
  8. I'd probably just cut all my ties to this person. There's not mutual connection there; you both want different things it seems.
  9. Hookers and blow
  10. girls really dont understand how hard it is for a guy to be friends with them if the dude has feelings towards her.

    dude let it go, you made your move and it backfired. stop wasting your time
  11. I dealt with this over 8yrs with my Ex:eek::(

    Sounds like you're starting to figure out what you need to do, Best of luck!:smoke:

    Read the 3rd line in my sig, that qoute helps me keep things in perspective:smoke:
  12. If u start messin wit other girls she'll get jealous. If you still want to be with her then do it. If not you gotta move on. Better it be now then 5 years down the road u no

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