Discussion in 'General' started by gnomeherbs, Aug 3, 2012.

  1. These past few hours I have been struggling with some anxiety. I have a problem with anxiety because I tend to over-think things but I'm not exactly sure where this anxiety is coming from. It's an "I need to leave. I need to get out of here. I need to do something." kind of anxiety. So I guess I do know where it's coming from, I never fucking leave the house.

    I don't have a lot of friends out here in this town and now that I'm out of high school it's kind of hard to meet people. I'm not working, I'm trying to find a job, so that makes it even harder. I have friends but I don't see them too often because they're either busy a lot or don't have gas money and can't make it into town. I don't have my license (complicated story) so I can't drive myself anywhere and my family isn't really for giving me a ride anywhere. They're hermits themselves.

    I hate being stuck in this house with no money and no purpose.

    So how was your day? What's on your mind? Let's talk.. I need to talk.. I want to hear about you.
  2. take a walk man. I love going for walks when I feel like there isn't shit left to do :smoking:
  3. #3 gnomeherbs, Aug 3, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2012
    I'd like to add that the only place to meet people in this town (other than by working and such) is at parties. But they're usually high school parties and I'm not big on partying - I'm not big on high school kids. I don't feel like getting caught with a bunch of drunk people. I don't go to parties to get drunk and get wild. I'd rather kick back and relax with a bunch of people. I don't like to get rowdy, I'd rather not get the police involved and loud parties are just not my thing.

    I mean, I'm 18, I don't need to get caught in those situations and it feels like the people around me just don't give a fuck. Also, I feel bad partying when I don't bring in any money for the house. Why do I get to go out and have a good time and let loose when my grandfather is supporting six people with a $100 cable bill, a $500 electricity bill and a $300 water bill and who knows what else. That is rediculous to me. But my Grandma brings in her retirement money. Their 43 year old daughter, my Aunt, brings in very little, does not have a job and my grandparents have basically raised her 16 year old son. I feel like I should get a little bit of a break when it becomes to "manning" up and being responsible. I'm trying, I know I'm not trying as hard as I could, but I really want to shape up or they're gonna ship me out. Why can't that be the same for my Aunt?

    Ugh. I didn't want to get into this. Now I'm ranting and putting myself in a mood. Making my anxiety level higher.
  4. I feel like if I go for a walk without telling anyone they'll freak out. And I don't feel like telling anyone. I just want to go. I mean I'm almost 19, I don't think I should have to tell anyone I'm going anywhere.

    Bah! I'd go for a walk during the day but I hate the day time here.. it's too fucking hot haha

    I think I'll go chill outside for a little bit though. :smoke:

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