Posting this mostly because, I'm bored, stoned, and...blah. Met this girl, she's extremely cute. Her personality is wild, it's..a blend of some of the greatest personalities. She loves all the music I love, same food, and most of the same interests (give or take a few). I didn't wanna get all, "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!" on y'alls asses, even though I seriously could have. She mentioned her boyfriend in the middle of one of her sentences. It sucked, obviously. It sucked worse 'cause I was getting huge vibes that she was single. She has a kid (in which I don't mind. Love children, and would love to have my own. But obviously in my current situation, I probably wouldn't deal with it right this second.) and when I asked if she was married she said, "No." so I asked if she was single in a sad tone. Because I hate to see single mothers. She asked, "Why'd you ask that all sad?" I told her the reason above. She didn't comment further on weather or not she was single. She gave me her number (first, I might add). Then the word, "Boyfriend" came out. Blah. Felt like shit after that. Reason? Because after not having a girlfriend for almost 2 years, and the first year was because of myself not wanting one. Finally letting myself get back out there for a year, no luck, then this happens. Kind of just kicks your heart in the balls 'cause you want to rush in. Lol. Anyway. That was my rant, if it didn't make sense, then it didn't make sense. If you want to say I'm a pussy, then...I guess you are what you eat and bigons are bigons. If you have any sort of advice, OTHER than kill him (thought of that already.), feel free. I was joking about the kill him part.
Oh, and btw. I will keep treating her nice n stuff. It's not like I'm a dick =p I'll be her friend, gladly. Still just sucks
I've been in your situation before, the single thing sucks..it really does. What I did was, I never crossed the "friend" boundary/line, but I was there for her when she needed someone to talk to. No matter what it was, school issues, family problems, boyfriend problems (ESPECIALLY this one!!), etc. Just play it out slow, don't try to rush her leaving her boyfriend. If things go as planned, she'll do that herself. Just be the best friend you can be to her, oh and you mentioned she had a kid? Why not try to get to know her better, eventually meet her kid, and try to win her heart through her kid. Take him/her out for a day of "bonding". Although, it may be a while before you get to that point. Hope this helpss!
Good shit, man. But I don't want to go stealing another dudes girl, unless it's for the greater good of her. I'm an odd one. But I would hate for a girl to leave me 'cause another dude really wanted her, too. (Happened to me before.) But the friend stuff is common sense to me I'm a friendly person and would love to just be her friend. I just wanted to rush since I've been single for far too long. But seriously, thanks for the advice.
I'be got a girl I'm absolutely crazy over. I talk to her all the te, except texting cause she's not a big texter. But we've been hanging out a lot and shit and she says she doesn't want a boyfriend but I know she does. Most frustrating shit. But real talk, be patient and really get to know her and everything will be so much smoother in te end.
This is a scumbag approach. See the bolded. That's completely underhanded and scummy. If everything goes as planned, she won't have to go through a breakup, asshole. This is a relationship between two people, not for one person, and if one person is emotionally damaged (breakup-kid-new boyfriend), the relationship has almost no hope of coming into fruition. Be a friend and give up on any kind of non-platonic relationship. If it's supposed to happen, then it doesn't need your help. She knows what she wants, and right now, that's what she has. Also, if she decided to up and leave her boyfriend (and his connection with her child), then what's to stop her from doing that to you if you were the boyfriend (and another guy came along)?
I don't think "boyfriend" is the key word here. It's the fact that she has a kid. And that, to me, is a BIG NO NO.
That sucks op. Im sorry Don't worry someone single will come along [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A&feature=youtube_gdata_player[/ame] Hope this makes you laugh at the situation instead of being bummed out Think of it like this, if it didn't happen is wasn't meant to be. It will happen eventually. For now have a laugh and keep being friendly all you can do really. No use wasting time being bummed. You'll meet a cute single girl. There is plenty of women out there!
No problem man, glad I could help! Good luck man, and just remember..if it's supposed to happen it will. There's nothing wrong with having a cool chick as a good friend.
First of all there is nothing scummy about what I said, it's not like I'm trying to get him laid just so he can leave her. My post was strictly about being friends with her and furthering a relationship that way. If you're doing your job as a boyfriend and keeping her happy, then you don't need to worry about other guys. Obviously he isn't seeing as how she's going out giving other guys her number. So get your head out of your ass and stop worrying about me and what I said, this thread is not for or about me. Get off my jock and try giving some advice to Autumnwind. Kthxbai
People give me their number all the time. That's what happens when you want to be friends with someone, and it speaks nothing about their relationships. My god, grow up, not all people who interact want to fuck. Your post was about attempting to get close to her, having "bonding days" with her, and being there "especially" for boyfriend problems. That's fucking scummy. To further the point, being the guy that's trying to foster a relationship only confuses her, which is a pretty fucked up thing to do considering she has a kid and a lot of other shit on her mind. My advice was sitting there in the post you quoted, dear God, did you even read it? DEEEERP kthxbai edit: you said, "If things go as planned, she'll leave her boyfriend herself" (paraphrased to edit the idiocy). So apparently, not only is it your plan to be the guy that gets between her and her current boyfriend, but you also want to be the guy that causes her to go through a breakup. That's nice, guy, sounds like you really care about her!
Maybe she is in an unhappy relationship? And friendship with u is something she really looks forward to, I mean if she is in an unhappy relationship maybe she sees you as 'potential' boyfriend! Dunno, but good luck anyway
[quote name='"Makizushi"']I don't think "boyfriend" is the key word here. It's the fact that she has a kid. And that, to me, is a BIG NO NO.[/quote] Too true man. That's a major turn off. However If you're okay with that OP, more power to ya.
funny how many guys will completely forget about a chick when they find out she has a kid. REally? Never bothered me. NOW with that said, i had a girl that i didn't want to get serious with BECAUSE she had 2 kids and was recently divorced and i had just gotten out of a serious relationship myself. I was 21 she was 25. But that wasn't a kid thing, it was a few things combined that made me cautious.
[quote name='"nitraw"']funny how many guys will completely forget about a chick when they find out she has a kid. REally? Never bothered me. NOW with that said, i had a girl that i didn't want to get serious with BECAUSE she had 2 kids and was recently divorced and i had just gotten out of a serious relationship myself. I was 21 she was 25. But that wasn't a kid thing, it was a few things combined that made me cautious.[/quote] Craziest thing, just talked abiut this in english, there is a double standard for single men and women with kids
Wow, thank you for all the support, haha. And the fun laughs from the fighting. But yeah, the kids thing is my biggest no-no. But depending on personality, I'd move forward with a girl even with a kid.
Well, you have to understand. A kid in your early 20's can screw your life plans up. And with a girl you first meet, you don't think about the future when you're barely starting your life. Most people should have a child in their mid to late 20's. I plan on doing this, yet, plans don't happen the way they should - ever. Whenever I have a child, I know I'll be ready. But I do not want to be forced into being a father, at this young of an age, with the position I am in my life, and what I want to do with my life. The kid not being mine, at an older age where I can settle down? Sure, I'd dive right the fuck in. But for now, I want to live my life at the age of 19. The situation I'm in, my age, and what I want to do with my future - is making me "forget" the "chick". I am happy to call her my friend, I already know her and I are going to have awesome moments together.