So here's the deal, my roommate and I took on a couple of other roommates. One kid we're having a bit of trouble with. We only have four rules. Keep common areas clean. No hard drugs. No smoking in the house. And no loud music after midnight (we work in the am). Well, the kid can't seem to grasp the last two. He's not discretely smoking in his room either; if that were the case, we wouldn't particularly care. We certainly don't care he smokes weed. He's pretty much hotboxing the whole house. This is a problem for us as working professionals, because we don't want all of our belongings smelling like weed for obvious reasons (legal reasons, professional reasons). It's also our lease and security deposit on the line. The management company has people over sometimes to do work, because it's an old house and things break often; it's to be expected. The interior cannot smell like weed for a good portion of the day. We take our shit outside, and that was a condition upon move in. So you'd think, hey, if he can't follow the house rules, kick him out right? He's not on the lease. Well, see that's the thing, we actually really like this kid. Other than the music and inconsiderate smoking, he's a really good kid who's just trying to save up a little money for a security deposit for his own place, and we don't want to just throw him out. But he's also not taking a hint. We've left messages for him on a whiteboard. We've made comments about the house smelling like weed. It's coming down to the fact that we have to directly confront him, but he's always got friends over, or his girlfriend, and I think it's just rude to embarrass him in front of his homies or his girls. So what's a reasonable person to do blades?
No idea why a stoner would ever agree to move into a place where he can't smoke inside, that sounds no different than living with mom and dad. The problem was also that you expected a stoner to abide by the rules. If you don't want smoking in the house, don't take on a stoner room mate, they will try to smoke anyway thinking they may get away with it. And if he is blatantly smoking in the room and hot boxing the house maybe that rule never got to him? I could see if he was happy toking or blowing bong out the window but if he is just smoking joints like it's nothing I feel he didn't hear that rule. Just talk to him and say hey man remember when we said we can't smoke and go from there.
Tell him to buy a vaporizer...much less smell and don't have to worry about your clothes smelling like weed.
Well your first problem is not confronting him directly, nobody likes wishy washy BS! Pull him to the side, say your words an move on if he does not get it and continues to blatantly disrespect the house rules then it may be time for him to move on... I hear you say you like him and all but you gotta think about yourself and the roommates that actually care aswell. Cant keep everyone happy all the time as much as you may want to.. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
Because I expect people to stand by their word and act like responsible adults. He didn't have to move in. In was made explicitly clear to him during the interview. I also resent the idea that a stoner can't abide by house rules. That's ridiculous. I'm a stoner and I abide by the rules. We live in a warm climate and have a lovely back yard/patio. We just don't want anyone smoking in the house because of prevailing odors, frequent handy man visits, and of course the cost of cleaning (it leaves a resin). If it's acceptable to expect cigarette smokers to do it, why's in unreasonable to expect tokers to do it? Cigarettes are addictive.
Yep BBK is right. He's on the money. You have to pull him aside and tell him straight up. It's the only way.
Well that's all fine and good. Now the only issue is trying to catch him alone. Something our little social butterfly never seems to be.
Cigarette smoking and weed smoking are two entirely different things. People haven't been smoking cigarettes inside for a long time and cigarette smoke can really ruin the walls and ceiling, not to mention second hand smoke. I'm also assuming most weed smokers smoke a significant less amount of product than tobacco smokers would. Where your average smoker is about 20 cigarettes a day I don't know anyone who smokes more than a few joints a day and even that is excessive smoking. Weed is also illegal, giving reason for someone to smoke inside. A lot of people don't want their neighbours knowing because you never know who may be a snitch. And I didn't mean stoners can't abide by rules period, I meant the no smoking in the house rule. I'm not blaming you for expecting him to follow the rules but at the same time you can't be too surprised that he didn't.
Ive tried subtle hints with neighbors, shit does not work. I'm going to say grab him for a sec, say some stuff politely, and hope it works. if not, maybe a word infront of folks WILL get the message across.
Why does he have to be alone? That's the point in pulling him to the side. ie away from his groupies Just be like "ay mange, can you come here real quick" and go to your room or hell step outside and spark one up and talk to him about it. (that's what I would do personally) either way you got have your man to man, bro to bro about this shit if you want it to stop. . Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
No. I've done property clean up, weed leaves a resin too. It may not ruin the paint, but it does require cleaning. It may not be as immediately destructive as cigarettes, but over time a problem will accumulate. Gotta scrub the walls, shampoo the carpet. It's not the same, I know. But smoking anything in the house leaves a smell and a resin after a while. Hell, even having a fireplace does. Not something we want to deal with. I understand the illegality problem. But at the same time, it may sound cold, but it's his problem, not ours (also the neighbors really don't give a shit). He accepted the terms. He could have lived somewhere else if the terms weren't agreeable. It's like....if you love pets, and your rent a place that doesn't allow pets.
It's just a personal preference I have when talking to people about issues. But that doesn't seem like it's gonna be an option here.
You need to set up times for house meetings. I can't believe you don't do that. Leave him a note/text/or whatever and say there's a house meeting. Just roomies. Confront him. Stop with the passive aggressive bullshit. That always leaves wiggle room. Take care of business.
What so hard about confronting an issue that effects you as well as others negatively? Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
No it doesn't. I've owned my property since 2006, and have been smoking like a fucking champ..my roommates too. It doesn't linger on clothes, doesn't stain walls/carpet etc. Being very dramatic here. I understand the land lord thing, but everything else is total bs. On several occasions I've had to lay down the law with my other roommates. No one likes to do it but you gotta do what you gotta do.
if hes never alone just text him and tell him the situation. if he doesnt get it then he can find somewhere else to stay.
You are going to have to tell him directly and clearly that if he does not follow the rules then he will need to find a new place to live. If he is a reasonable person, he should understand your reasoning. As far as having someone over, you can always politely ask him to step in to another room to have a private conversation.
Yeah I would directly confront him, just give him hours for music like midnight cause you all work. And smoking I don't see the big deal as long as he's in his room with the window open.
Grow a pair and tell him? Sounds like you guys over act tho. Weed definitely does not require you to wash walls and wash carpets hahah. I've smoked heavily in an apartment that was all carpet and it never even smelled of cannabis yet alone any of my belongs that the weed wasn't in. I think if he's payin just as much as you and he's just doin it in his room that really shouldn't be a problem. No way even if he's smoking joints with his door closed your clothes smell like weed for more than a second when you walk out of your door. If it's some magical super duper smelly weed and it's such a seriously prob then grow a pair and tell him? Little wishy washy notes on fridge? He's prolly to stoned to notice them lol. If I was him Id just think you guys were pussies and keep going about my ways til someone stood the fuck up. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum