So in a fit of nerd range i just broke my Gameboy SP because i couldnt defeat a boss in Metroid Fusion. Its not a big loss but now im even more pissed because i cant play the damn game. Ive had issues like this since i was like 12. Ive broken 3+ PSPs, 4+ GBAs, punched 10+ holes in my walls, broken countless other shit. I control it 99% of the time, like ill go to throw something and then ill stop myself because i know that i shouldnt be throwing shit threw the wall(cell phone literally went through both sides of the wall once). I dont really have an outlet for this anger except to destroy expensive shit then get more pissed because i just destroyed something else i use every day. IDK wtf to do about this, I know i have a lot of pent up anger, And breaking shit doesnt seem to help, neither does talking to people about it. One thing is that when im high i never get like that even if i loose in a game 300+ times. Its not just videogames, its everything piling up inside of me and i guess the games just trigger it. I dont like getting mad at games, they are just games, but i cant control it. Idk what to do. If its anything related, im depressed about like 50% of the time because i can never get ahead in life and when i do it goes to shit quick. An example of this is, i got a seasonal job, things start looking up, i get a new cellphone and it gets stolen 5 days after i got it. It was mostly my fault but still, shit like that happens to me all the time. Shit starts looking up and then SMASH, god says Fuck you AJ go kill yourself you worthless fuck. And i know some are going to say some BS about me being childish but i literally cant controll the anger when it hits hard enough.
dont think like that bro (i know easier said than done) the thing that helps with my anger is working out and good music, you should try that. Breaking expensive shit sucks and depression is a motherfucker believe me but you gotta think positive, not to be all religous or nothing (im far from it) but Gods probibly testing you out bro. Try working out and deff what ever you do make sure you smoke more weed.
Im not the religious type either, i really dont believe in it. I was just using that to explain how i feel. I would smoke more weed if my entire family including me wasnt about to be below the poverty line. This shitty ass seasonal job, i dont even get paid till it ends. I mean yea its gonna be one big check but still. And i think the depression has worsened since i have had to smoke less because i dont get money from my parents anymore because they found out wat i was really spending it on. I just want someone to kill me.
yoo every thing you just said i relate to now, i used to make good money with savings, now i work for a fucking gas station making min wage and ive ben broke as fuck, it sucks having my boys smoke me out wen they got some cuz i dont get as much bud as i use to :/, and i know how it is with family, im in the same boat trust! Keep your head up bro! i hope things get better for you and everyone like us.
yea i doubt it will get better, its been like this for a while. I fucking hate being poor but i also hate school. I hate how most rich people didnt even go to college, but everyone says to go because youll make more money. Fuck that bull. I also still feel like dieing.
i wake up lots of days saying i wish i fucking die or some one kill me acctually more than often. But then i remember i have a family that needs me, like your family needs you. Dont forget that!.
I dont have a real job, why wouldn't they give me money to spend? Everyone needs money, even if they live with thier parents. But no, i dont get any money from them anymore so i cant do shit with my life, i sit in my room on the computer all day because i have no money to do anything else.
my parents never gave me a dime i had to work for everything i ever got since 14, ive given them money since 18 and still do, im 23 and yes i still live with the parents, you gotta hustle man what you doin just sittin in the room look online for work atleast, you cant expect things to change you have to change them your self. Good luck
How do i go out and do something when theres nothing to do unless i have money and a car? Chronic: I would change it if I had a way to. Theres no way to make any money around here unless you sell drugs and i dont have the clientele to sell anything.
So why dont you go and get a job? There are opportunities if you try. On the anger, look at the chit you are getting angry about - what affect does the source and your inability to conquer it really have on the grand scheme of things. In other words, most of it really doesn't mean chit. You didn't beat the big boss, whoopie. Do you want a simple game that you can fly through without a challenge? I highly doubt that you are 18 (and dont want to know), otherwise things would look a bit different to you. Learn to chill, learn to think your way through obstacles, Learn.
Have you talked to your doctor about your fits of rage, and what triggers them? (Paging Dr. Dingus) If your anger issues are relieved by cannabis, and triggered by video games, then one consideration might be a seizure disorder. Esp.considering your age. Temporal Lobe Epilepsy | epilepsy.com
The only plaza within walking distance, ive applied in every shop with nothing to show for it. Im gonna tak to my mo about seeing a therapist since shes the only ride i have.
on a serious note, channel your anger into something. some sort of exersize or something that physically drains you
OP : I can relate. Mobile phones are the things I break because usually that's what I'm holding when I go into fit of rage. But not anymore. I seemed to have found a way to deal with that. But I can't tell you how I did it because... it's very complicated. You sound like a good kid. Hope you can find a solution to your problem.