So my fiancé and I plan to get married on a Wednesday. Admittedly that's not the most convenient day I the week I get married on, but that's the day the date we wanted happen to fall on. Anyway, we tell our family this with over three months of advanced notice. And today her sister calls and is getting shitty with me about my fiancé's family not ring able to come. I talk to my fiancé and we both agree that we don't want to change the date for a number of reasons. I just feel that given the fact they had over 100 days to make arrangements, it's no one else's fault but their's if they can't make it. I mean, that's over a season. And even now they still have 70+ days to do whatever needs to be done. I just don't get it. How can so many adults (who all live in the same are) not manage to pool enough resources to make it? They could split the cost of gas, hotel, and then pay for their own food and loss of wages (assuming they can't use any sick/personal days). And how could they not come up with the funding given 100+ days? Am I being wrong? ~StayLifted
whats their argument, that they would have their finances in order come a later date? if they just want you to move it back a bit then id say your being unreasonable not to accommodate for family, but it would seem thats not the only factor in play.
They want us to set the date for a weekend. And like I said, the date we chose has a strong significance to us, and this is our wedding. Also, the first five days we're going to be spending with my grandmother. She's 81 years-old, and this may be the only time she get to meet her great-grandson. Her son (my dad) was already taken from her way too early in life. I'd hate to cut that visit short. Not to mention the fact that the honeymoon plans have all been made for Thursday-Sunday. And who wants to wait four days after their wedding to go on the honeymoon. I'd be a bit more sympathetic if we hadn't given them so much advanced notice. And knowing their professions, there's no reason the couldn't have the finances they need to get there other than lack of discipline and poor budgeting. ~StayLifted
like you said, its your wedding day, and you've given plenty of advanced notice. id say youre in the right, its just strange that an entire side of the family wont be able to come, and is something worth considering.
It's incredibly dumb and inconsiderate of your guests to have the wedding on a Wednesday. Do whatever you want, because it's all about you right. In a way you're right... Weddings are a lot of stress and you have to deal with guests that don' like the way you're doing things. Often because you're not really considering them or putting enough effort into making sure they can come and have a good time. You guys sound a bit wrong how you're not really considering the guests,That's her sister they grew up together and now they're moving on. I think the sister wants to be there and have a good time too. The wedding needs to be a special night. Is it really going to be special on a Wednesday? People will have work the next day, etc. Maybe they'll get out of work late too. People give gifts based on how good the wedding was too. They'll pull money out of the envelope if it sucks. But really I don't care what you do. Do whatever you feel like.
Who couldn't take two or three days off work? Again: They've had over three months to get things in order. That's why I don't care about their excuses. It's not like they work shit jobs. Even when my fiancé and I both worked minimum wage jobs we still made a good enough budget to take a week-long road trip (from AL to FL, then to GA, followed by SC, and then back to AL) to see each other's family. Her sister works at a bank, her parents are both in the IT department at a corporate law firm, and that's all that she really cares about being there. I just don't get why they can't make the trip other than their lack of budgeting. ~StayLifted
I think it all boils down to which is more important - The date you chose (for whatever reason) or Her side of the family not coming to the wedding
i got married to my wife with just one witness. we didn't tell anyone or want anyone coming. it is our day for us to celebrate how much we love each other. sure there were some pissed off people but i told them all the very same thing...... this is our life and this wedding was about my lady and myself. not about anyone or anything else. we did not want any negative thoughts or emotions to dampen the spirit. we understand your frustration so we are having a party this weekend where everyone gets to attend, where everyone gets to make their speeches and where everyone gets to have a good time. i did have to hear everyone's opinion on how we should not have gotten married like that and how disrespectful it was. however, about 3 hours into it my in-laws started fighting in a drunken stupor and my sister acted like a shrieking fucking banshee in a drunken rage of her own. and they all couldn't figure out why we didn't want them there to fuck it all up for us. this is your life, this is about you and your lady and this day is meant to honor how you two feel about each other. no matter what you choose just make sure that your lady gets everything she wants on this day. this is the day of days that will pretty much set the mood for you as newlyweds. follow your heart and everything else will fall into line.
A lot of fools around I will say. For one thing. if any man married my daughter without asking my permission, my daughter wouldn't have a husband for long. How disrespectful do you have to be? Next, you people sound really selfish "It's all about me" "it's my day" Oh ok, so it's not about the people who helped you make it there, right? The parents that did everything for you and would like to get to be a part of your wedding? One fucked up world.
If they really wanted to be apart of the wedding, they'd make an effort to actually try and work things out and be there. The thing is, I'd normally agree with you on this...but they were given notice (100 days or so) and to flop and say they can't make it....well that is ON THEM. You are not supposed to accommodate everyone. Say, you move the wedding to the weekend, then the people who had no problem with wednesday will be complaining. Either way, family is family so despite their horrible decision making skills, you should at least consider trying to make it easier for them to come. But then again, its their own god damn fault...and if my family did something like this to me, I'd tell them good, and to stay home on their asses. Cause any family, should make a 150% effort to be at their son/daughter's wedding, no matter what. Its an important day. And the fact they were given TONS of notice doesn't help me side with them. Its their fault in the end, not the people getting married. Point being; the family really doesn't give a shit to try and make it for the wedding on Wednesday. Put it like this, they have more important things to attend to or do. How is that inconsiderate? Its their wedding day man. And if their family can't make it for whatever reason, thats on them. Not on the couple getting married.
People got more important shit to do. It's not like a marriage is any special. What's the purpose of marrying anyway? Does your GF not believe you when you tell her you love her?
Your family sounds selfish if you ask me. Like my family, they only do what's convenient for them it seems. If they don't care, they shouldn't be there. It's YOUR wedding, not theirs. If they miss their own child's wedding, that would be shameful of them, and I hope they aren't that greedy. They can easily get a day off work if they tell their boss its for their daughter's wedding. Especially with several months notice.
Idk man. It sounds like you've already answered your own question. To be honest I'm not sure if her family is selfish or they really care and can't make arrangements. (Although they've had and still will have a long time to give their jobs notice). What I CAN say, is that MY family would be at my wedding no matter what day or time it was. I guarantee it.. Think about that. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
It's a tradition of love. It bonds you to someone for the rest of your life. It makes you stand up in front of the world you know and profess your love for one another. And it also allows us to share insurance, and I'm sure it'll come in handy as parents too. ~StayLifted