Am I in Love?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Savage4Liberty, May 15, 2011.

  1. First off, a little background: A few months ago, I got off drugs (not weed, Ritalin) and decided to ask a girl out, who I've been crazy about for at least two years. We broke up once, and got back together, and since then she's been over once, it even got to first base, and it looks like things might go all the way, but I constantly worry about hurting her.

    What I'm worried about is interpreting my own emotions. We're both kind of academic and brainy, and she and I are both virgins. And no other girl on this planet is prettier than she is, don't argue with me lol. I have never liked a girl even nearly as much as I like her... she reminds me of a cat... the way she moves... and that embarrassed little smirk where she makes her lips disappear and smiles really big... blahhhhahaaaa. But I have a friend who told me there's a difference between "in love" and "infatuation". I'm 19 and I have no idea which is which. I just don't want to tell her I love her without knowing it. We haven't really talked about much that's very deep (at least I think), ad breaking her heart is my worst nightmare.

    I've heard the "when you're in love, you know it" argument, but the Ritalin I was on from age 12-19 really fucked with my emotions... I can't tell you how different it is... So my question is: how do you know when you're in love?

    oh ya, and I have yet to tell her about the pot plants in my back yard.
  2. Infatuation. You sound a little obsessive with things she does which was a big clue to me.

    You'll know when you're in love...seriously. That saying sucks but it's true. I can only describe being in love as feeling lit up inside, your life is meaningless without that person, they understand you in a way that no one else ever has, they truly and honestly complete you, they make you so happy that it's indescribable...there's so many ways to put it. Everyone has their own definition of what being in love is like, this was just a little insight to how I feel.

    Good luck with this girl, I wouldn't tell her you love her until you're sure of it.
  3. She does light me up tho... I've had crushes, but never anywhere close to this. It's been 16 days since I've last seen her (she's been sick/ finals week) and I'm not going to be able to see her for another week and a half!!! god damnit this sucks....
  4. So let me get this straight. You kissed her once, and you think you're in love?
  5. Dude, I'm a believer that love comes with time.

    This is purely infatuation.

    Wait it out and take it slow.
  6. Sometimes it starts out really intense. I know I am in love with my boyfriend and we've only been together three months. I've known him for a year, but we got really close in the past several months because he supported me through some hard stuff. When we started hanging out alone we just clicked. The feelings were sort of intense at first, but different I had crushes before and this is nothing like that... I can't explain it. It just feels so natural and relaxed. And I'm sorry to say when you're in love... I think you just know. I know that's not what you want to hear.. But one day I just knew. I am also 19 by the way, and I don't think age is a huge factor in whether or not your just "infatuated" or in "love". It's more about how well you know yourself and some young people know themselves better then someone who is older. While maybe not typical, certain life experiences do create a certain amount of wisdom. I always think of it as.. If you would put that person first, you want good things for them, and if you could see yourself with them for your whole life. I might be a romantic, but hey my folks have been married for 18 years (my dad and stepmom) and they are best friends, and are still very happy together.I asked my dad when he knew he loved my mom and he said the first time they met :) I think it can happen. The first kiss can certainly be crazy!
  7. well if youre genuine you will know when you just generally are happy with or without her.
    if youre a young troll...first base eh?
  8. Well, thank you for the replies guys, but I have to say I am having a hard time trusting myself. It may not help at all, but I feel I have to elaborate on the Ritalin situation.

    I started taking it in 6th grade... before then I was a bit shy, but was a bit of a class clown. I used to make my mom laugh all the time without even trying. I'd walk by her and pull my sweatshirt over my head and imitate a chicken with its head cut off, and she'd crack up. No anxiety or inhibitions to tell me that what I was doing was wrong. I'd be a little embarrassed afterwords, but that was vastly overwhelmed by the happiness that was all around me. When I started with Ritalin, I noticed that it made me feel VERY different. I could concentrate, but I had a real hard time communicating with people. I started to get real anxious and felt like everyone was judging me. And, oh yes... I did care what they thought of me. I kept the entire world, even my family, at arm's length. I walked around the house with a stone cold glare, and didn't even look at my mom when I walked by her. I went for days without smiling at all. My perception of objects in my surroundings changed-- things looked more clear, and it felt like my situational awareness skyrocketed.

    It felt like I was living two completely different lives: one who was so reserved and secluded that people started calling me "captain emotion" and whose only focus was education (on Ritalin), and one that really enjoyed things like dirt biking, hanging out with friends, etc. in the period of 2 1/2 months off it.

    So five months ago I decided to end this cycle completely and get off Ritalin, because I went into a depression and came real close to killing myself. I felt like a different person altogether... neither of the ones that I was swapping back and forth between my entire adolescence. So now I'm on a cocktail of antidepressants, one for each of the three chemicals that exist between the neurotransmitters in my breyhn.

    Now, after five months sober, I am wondering which of these people was the real me. The difference in the level of anxiety is like the difference between beer and drywall: no comparison at all. Not similar in any way. 3 months after officially getting off Ritalin, you could not stop me from asking this girl out. It almost seems unfair... there are people out there who really do have that much anxiety... I almost feel like I'm cheating now... or maybe it's normal... but i have no fucking idea what it feels like to be 'normal'. I've gained a little self esteem from being so close to killing myself, but I don't feel like i deserve it.

    The doctors said the side effects from the Ritalin wore off in a matter of hours, but I took it so often and for so long in between summer breaks that I think some of the habits I formed while I was on Ritalin stuck with me after I got off it, but I'm not sure which habits (if any) those are. And I'm also not sure what new characteristics I have between age 12 and age 19 are from natural maturing, or if the Ritalin fucked with my mind.

    What does it take to actually love somebody?
  9. to love? loving yourself enough first. and then being able to be there for her when she is happy just as much as when she is sad. being able to smile at the sight of her whether she is in sweats or a dress.
    that was a little ghey of me, btw, but hey, true i think.

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