Yo for those of you who don't know I have Schizophrenia. Do a search with my name to know all the facts before you add your opinion. First off, I have nothing against gay people, I'm not looking for sex with no man, I even put myself down as bi sexual on some sites but I don't believe it. But after 3 years of being called gay by voices in my head I'm starting to doubt myself. I get some days when every other word is 'your gay' 'your proper gay'. After I talk to attractive women or chat up girls the voices come out and tell me I'm never having a girlfriend again. The closer I get to girls the more the voices bother me When I was in high school a girl said 'he's gay' (meaning me) to a friend. That really upset me a the time not be rude but the school was like 70% asian and I don't really like asians girls. I had my crushes but after talking to them I didn't really like them nothing in common. I'm mixed race half white and half black but I look like a black dude. But I didn't act like the UK 'rudeboys' Because they suck. The most popular dude in the year called me gay cos I didn't act 'black' enough, like them that time though I didn't give a shit I was planning to kill myself that summer cos I felt so out of place, The voices bring this stuff up all the time I'm sure the chick who said it doesn't even remember The gayest thing I've ever done is kiss a dude when I was like 6 Was kiss a dude because his dad asked me to. (phucking Peado) I've only had 2 girlfriends my life and it;s been awhile like 8 years now. I really enjoy talking to woman even without a sex drive, I still get good feelings when I get close to chicks. To me dudes are just dudes why they hell would I even consider being gay??? becuase the voices give me no chioce they said it's an ORDER! that I'm gay. Back in 2006 I was fed up with them calling me gay so I just played along with it. ... ... ... Boring boring boring! to me who used to be able to summon any woman I wanted just by focusing. I changed my mind cos I just aint gay. but anytime I sommom a woman they call me gay or ugly. At first I let it bother me but I found if I just do it they can't really stop me. The voices did stop calling me gay for about 6 months. It was still lame but more fun because I could summon woman and have them talk and shit I was loving it. But now it's just your gay bla bla bla etc Example, After binging on Heroes last year a voices came out as Niki/Jessica Sanders and said she loved me and for a week she hung around. This years it's been forceing me to think of men all the time, if I summon a woman its They call me gay or ugly. They used to come out pretend to be my girlfriend on about 5 occasion during there time here in the pasted 3 year. only to have my favourite girl which would be Buffy and she called me gay. That when I decided to get extra help. So I started CBT and my Dr thinks the voices will never go. so I have to learn to deal with them. It's like I'm on trial with a 14 year old judge some days. I even induced them by taking some salvia X10, I was on there level and I was speaking from the heart and I asked them to please stop calling me gay it really hurts my feeling. Did that work?? no a voice came in that sounded like someone shouting at me from down the road and said '' you are gay Zeke!''. If I say I'm not gay they ALWAYS come back and say I am. Now there voice that keeps saying he loves me and it kinda making me sick and annoyed. Sometimes to the point of tears because I can only argure back so much, while the voices seems to never die. I think the voices are just picking on issues from the past what goes the city think?
Wow, I'm freakin out man, I got some old Floyd playing right now and as I read through the post the music got progressively louder and trippier. I'll respond when I go clear my head. edit- But for now I say, fuck the voices.
Wow, sorry to hear about this situation man.. it sounds hard. I would think maybe coming to terms with gay people and learning to like everyone for who they are might help. So the voices call you gay, then you won't take it offensively, and know that when it comes down to it YOU as a person like women, not men. Fight back with the voices man. Don't let them know that it is getting to you. If someone calls me gay, I wouldn't give a shit because I know I would never do anything with a dude and I love women and love pussy. I don't really know what else to suggest considering I can't really imagine the position you are in, but just keep trying to be at peace.
Do you want to have a wife and kids you made? Do you want to have a husband and adopted kids? Answer that and I think you'll know. Be honest though.
Wow. Sorry to hear about when you were 6. I had five years of that kind of shit from the time I was 4 til I was 9. I know how it is. As for the voices, fuck them the fucking fucks. You are who you are and only you can decide that, not some psychological illness.
Sorry about your situation. One, if you are gay, then there shouldnt be anything wrong with that. If thats who you are. Maybe you should try and go out on a date with a guy, but keep an open mind. The "people" that are shouting at you "you're gay" are not real. Your mind is portraying these characters to turn you away from something that was taught to you to be wrong or immoral. So that leads me to my next question; how was your childhood? Did you grow up in a family that was against homosexual relationships? Was that instilled into your lifestyle by your parents or someone that you loved/looked up too? That maybe where the "voices" are coming from. You should really speak to a professional for a more serious look into this issue soon. Would'nt you want guidance to help you along your way to contentment?
Your right dude. I have no problem with gay people. I love chatting up girls I don't go with what the voices say. I'm ignoring them for now. It's sucks cos Heroes season 3 is out I would like the frickin cast to apper so far just Petrllie. My CBT doc says wait till the voices are gone then I can mess around with visions again
that sucks man im really sorry to hear that... do you hear the voices all day? do they go away some days and come back others?
It was me and a friend of mine when we were younger. WCW had a gay angle with to wrestlers Lenny and Lodi. We really didn't like the idea of being gay. I think thats where it's coming from My perants never really said much to me about relationships. I was abused from ages 3 to 6. Don't want to go into it too much but it wasn't cool. I can't be asked to go looking for me to date becuase... There men and after watching gay porn, I have to say no way to me being gay. However the skizo voices thing like to make gay noises at me or a get a visons of some guys getting head. That started after watching the third American pie. If you seen it. The opening scene with that dude getting head.
Haven't had true silence since febuary. Today they've been buzzing around me saying things for me Example voice 1 says ''Zeke you are gay!!'' then another voice comes out and says ''yes I am'' taking the control away from me I'm just ignoring it.
It sounds like a lot of this is caused by what people have said to you mixed with your mental illness. The first thing you need to do is come to terms with what they said because a lot of people are so insecure that they make fun of others to impress their friends, sounds like you were a victim of this. The second thing you should do is realize you have control over your brain and control what it thinks (maybe you don't because of your illness, i believe everyone does in spite of everything), there is no extra person inside your head, its all you. Third thing you should do is consult a professional if the voices continue, I'd ask him about blazing and your illness because weed is known to accelerate such ailments. Good luck with your problem, just remember just because you have a mental illness you still have control, willpower is far more powerful than any medication. -Dupe
Ever since I was 13 I've wanted to have a wife, I remember being on Holiday in florida, just laying there dreaming of what it would be like to be married. As for kids I don't feel responsible enough yet maybe down the line. But would love a wife.
are these girls you like talking to in your head? at first i thought you were talkin about real girls, but then you started talkin about summoning them and talking to the cast of hero's.
LOL I've been summoning visons from TV shows mainly shows with super powers since I was a kid. Example 1 after watching superman the first orignal movie, I would get visons of superman flying at me Example 2, My high school was so crappy I couldn't wait to get home and watch TV. When I started watching Buffy I would pretty much go to bed summing visions of it and putting myself in there. The second 'voice' I ever heard was Eliza Duska before it was just silent visons but this was like some trippy what the hells going on here. So Heroes is just another show I love Since watching season 3 Lots of pettrelle and syler. one vison of Elle and one of micah (with a woman talking out of him) trippy shit
I've been able to have visions since I was a kid and the first voice that I ever heard was when I was 11. They prended to be a girl who sat beside me. They said 'Will you go out with me' I said no. When I told my friend He went and told her. One of the worse days of my life imagine half the girls in your class coming at you angrly. I was so confused. Made me cry. I didn't know what was happening so I 'lied' and said I made it up. It wasn't untill last year when the same voice came out and said it. I was shock and pissed. They use the girls name Abi as a trigger word to make me feel worse. Bottom line tho the voices have come out as everything under the sun from John Cena to the dude down the round. The girls in my head arent really and I know it. I treat it a bit like a toy. But I've met quite a lot of real chicks, Some while walking the dog, others at dinner Parties, my sister has some cool friends I get on with. I got the girl of my dream on my facebook friends list. She's really hard to read these days. Also met this chick Emma ...completely full of herself it's unbelievebly
Thanks man I needed to gear that. Today I've just been blanking them today. Listening to them back in 2005 when I thought they were real people I listen and got arrested twice. peace