Am I being used?

Discussion in 'General' started by PotCommitted420, Dec 28, 2012.

  1. Hi guys, new member here although I have lurked occasionaly in the past. I wanted to get some unbias opinion on my living arrangements and thought this forum would be a good place to do so.

    A few things about me:
    I play poker full time(mainly online) and moved into my friends house 4 months ago (he bought the house and renovated it to standard and now lives in too as we moved in at the same time)

    I pay him £80 ($130) a week all inclusive as he deals with bills gas electric and internet

    He has a girlfriend who is at the house for the majority of the week, sharing his room with him and the times she isn't here she still lives at her parents, but over time I can see the progression towards her living here full time. Which I have no problem with on a personal level, however on a £$ front I do have issues because she doesn't contribute anything financially even though she has her own money. It's also an awkward 1 because it's his house and he doesn't want rent off her, but I think as she's getting free use of the house (has her own key) free electric heating and internet that she should be contributing just like I do. Is this a fair point i'm making or does she deserve the free ride as they're considered to still be 'dating' (over 2 year relationship)?

    Another thing the 2 of them roped me into was getting 2 kittens, when they suggested it I thought it'd be a good idea to have them round the house for company, but since getting them a couple months ago I feel like they are being neglected by both of them, and at times myself (however i've fed them and changed their litter more than they have) and so i've said we need to find the cats a new home but they want to keep them.

    There are a few other things but these are my main concerns, the money and the cat situation. I'd like to know if other people think my situation is tenable with the info given or would moving out and trying to slug it out in my own place be a better option? It would cost a little more, if i pay 325 a month all in now it might cost me closer to 500 to live on my own all in.
  2. Its his house, if you dont like it why not simply go rent your own place?
  3. His house, his choice.
  4. Your not being used. If the cats are being neglected get them a new home.
  5. I've been leaning towards the idea of doing this for a while. But i'm actually doing him a favor by living here as I'm paying most of his mortgage and if I didn't live here he would struggle to get someone else in. Living here was always going to be temporary while I look to make enough money in the mean time to either sort my own place out or look for some other form of house share.

    I haven't raise the whole 'gf not contributing financially issue' because like you and others have said it's his house and i'd rather not interfere with their relationship. But effectively i'm paying for part of her free ride which I don't agree with, she's his gf and if he's happy for her to leech like a succubus then I suppose I haven't got much of a say in the matter.
  6. The feeling of being used stems from the fact I hand over £80 a week while she pays nothing. I hate to say it but I think he uses her as a spunk bucket and me as a weekly atm machine.

    I agree that the cats deserve a better home where the owners make sure there's always food available and relatively clean litter. We've been ok to them overall, I could imagine far worse owners than us.
  7. Welcome to roommate living.

    Pick ur battles

    Theyre just kittens man, is it gonna kill you to take care of them ?
  8. I do take care of them when I get the chance, but I work online all day so when i'm on a 5 min break and walk past the landlord and his girlfriend sat in living room watching tv and go to the kitchen, it annoys me when their bowls are empty and there's shit all over the floor because neither of them could be arsed sorting out the litter tray.
  9. If you were paying a non set amount (utilities based on what the bill is), then yeah it's not fair because you are paying for her usage too.

    But since you are paying a set amount, who cares. It's not like the cost went up.

    Tell him you feel the cats are being neglected, and he should do his share taking care of them if he wants to keep them.

    In other news, you should have sex with his girlfriend.
  10. How is $130/week most of his mortgage? That's ~$500/month, which is less than I pay with a one bedroom apartment, not even including utilities like water, gas, electric, cable, etc. If anything I'd say if you're living in a house for $500/month all bills paid, YOU are getting a good deal from your friend.

    As it's his house, and it doesn't sound like she is occupying your space, eating your food, or wearing your clothes or anything crazy; I'd say you should let them both do what they want to do and stay out of it. If he lets her move in, it's his mistake haha. I'm divorced and have lived with a few girls in my time...never again!
  11. It's his girlfriend.. And his house. If you don't like, bounce.

    Heyyyyyyy that rhymes
  12. basically what the first post said but with added lyricism, well done.
  13. cat seems like a hard animal to neglect
  14. iirc his mortgage is £425 as he bought the house cheap.
  15. Lol hes banging the chick therefore she has free acess to everything thats his, you have no argument there, i guess the cats are the only problem, i think you shoulda got a chihuahua instead
  16. Yeah you basically gotta learn to live with what your given.
  17. If your doing him a favor leave. Alsp find nthe kitten s a new home.
  18. My mortgage+electric+tv+internet+insurance is over 1500$. U should be happy with what your getting. You wanna live for any less you better just move in with your momma
  19. 80£ is not "most" of 425£
  20. Probably the most sensible post so far, and even though the last line was jehsting it might not be a bad shout, he sleeps with other girls and she probably does the same so therefore if I have sex with his gf i'll feel like i'm not being used and getting my moneys worth, thus problem solved :cool:

Share This Page