We are not who we seem to be. Someone, who knows who he is, once said he was just an arsehole on the internet (he said asshole when he said it, as he did so as an American). It didn't mean he had nothing to say, just that he didn't want to be seen a certain way. Like us all, he's a work in progress, and humble enough not to need/want his ego inflated. When we talk to someone, face to face, it's hard not to appear who we are, even when we try not to, especially for those who understand those subtle nuances, recognise our strange body language, hear the various tones in our voice, etc, that go along with it. There are a few who are able to get things from this that seem impossible for them to get – Derren Brown is a good example. But if you remove all the usual clues, and you let go of the judgments, the thoughts, the ideas, that go along with them, what you're left with is only what is said. Only what gets said can be used to infer something now, which is not always how that person might be seen in ‘real life'. There are those who play with this idea and deliberately give themselves a different persona online, for all sorts of reasons. Some see it as playful and fun, some are mischievous, some are criminal. But for others it is a way to explore a way of being themselves, perhaps one that represents who they see themselves as, or would like to see themselves as, in a safe environment, where there isn't the risk that doing so physically brings. Leaving aside those who know they're not being who they appear to be, the rest, who fall into the exploring themselves category, know that being honest is what matters. For in order to explore yourself this way, only the very realest ‘you' will produce the realest results, and why explore this if not to really experience it? Are you, in any given moment, being as real as you know you can be? There are some here who are exactly that – real. Perhaps not always when around those who see them, but they are real here nevertheless. Many people have rules when it comes to what they reveal and who they reveal it to. But on the internet, where we are nameless, faceless, bodyless, sexless, ageless, raceless, creedless, individuals, the need to do so is lessoned, relaxed, not so important or necessary. It's only through this anonymity that some things get to be said at all. It is these things, these ideas, these people, that make the most difference. It is these people that I have the most connection with. However, with the usual things missing from the interaction, what's left is not just the words. What's left is what comes with the words, what was, is, behind the words, alongside the words. The words are just a symbol, they point towards what's being made. You might call this connection the Spirit. Tuning into that, feeling that, happens when one is open to it, because one is willing to open to it, and when one is willing to be open, that changes things. For one, it increases sensitivity, and the ability to connect takes place in a way that may not be possible in person. In fact, if one spends a lot of time developing this, it increases to the point where spending time with someone physically, with all those things back in place, can feel like sensory overload, and it is this that can make it appear almost ‘psychic'. Such sensitivity can make it hard to be around just anyone, without instinctively putting up a barrier, as a kind of protection, so that one is not overwhelmed by what is available to be experienced. Like anything, it's about finding the balance. So that when the moment is right, when it feels like someone is willing and open to hear you, especially if they care enough about the truth to reveal it themselves, then the connection that gets made can really do something. The idea behind the word ‘psychic' now makes more sense. It feels real, natural, and just part of who you are. So, if there is a message in these words, it is to be as openly and honestly who you are, as much as you feel comfortable being, when revealing yourself to someone else, without fear of what they might think or feel about it, while allowing them to think and feel anything they like about it if they wish. Fear says this path will be difficult, and this has led many to leave the world, take themselves off, and that makes a lot of sense, as that's designed to ensure nothing untoward turns up unexpected. Monasteries and Ashrams are very peaceful places of refuge from an otherwise chaotic world. But if you surround yourself with people like this, people choosing to escape the world, then something might always remain missing. The missing bit will never reveal itself, because the circumstances for experiencing it may never come about. There really is nothing to escape from. There is no us and them. There is no inside and outside. There is no you and me. There is only consciousness. We are all part of this consciousness. We are this consciousness. It is us, we are it. There is nobody, there is no thing outside it. So in following an idea that keeps you apart from the rest, in living apart from the rest, in leaving the rest to their own devices as it were, the ability to connect is diminished. In fact, fear might even creep in as you imagine all sorts of reasons why you must remain apart, so you are not affected/infected by what is happening ‘out there'. Thing is – even in the remotest mountain cave, you are always affected by what happens ‘out there'. Why? Because there is no out there. Yes, it is necessary to go away, find space, be alone, from time to time. We all need it. But you always have to come back. You have to be in the world in order to experience how it is meant to be. And if you're not experiencing the world as it is meant to be, then you must change yourself until you are. What's funny about having to change yourself instead of having to change the world? By changing yourself, the world changes too, and this change will be far more real than anything that can be achieved doing it the other way.
Some posts give me "chills" in the way a child gets chills on Christmas morning. This was one of them. I quoted words I pray ALL will come to understand.
Having never studied Kabbalah, it is interesting that you think so. This is not the first time that Kabbalah has been mentioned to me. It reminds me that I almost visited Kfar when I came across it many years ago, but I'd already been in Israel for almost a year by then, and had already felt to make my way to India instead. Someone almost took offence when he discovered my intentions; he couldn't understand why I seemed to be rejecting Jewish mysticism. You just couldn't get a proper curry in Israel back then.
Kabbalah is really the only spiritual "system" that makes any sense to me. That could just because I was brought up in it, but it truly is extremely cohesive and the techniques are satisfying. Plus it's just plain interesting. It has a lot in common with other Eastern mystical systems, which is where the Jewish idea that Abraham Avinu traveled the far east spreading kabbalistic knowledge comes from (although it certainly could be the other way around!)
Everyone puts on a mask in public. Weather they mean to or not, it happens. Some people put masks on, on the internet as well. But I feel there are more genuine people on the internet * more willing to say it how it is to them* then there are masks. Everyone has mask. It can sometimes be hard to read their inner self. With a little training however, or natural ability *as some people do have* You can look past the barriers and see people for they really are. General body language tells alot, but only so much. Tiny changes in body language *so tiny that most people will not notice. Most being roughly 90% of people* tell alot as well. Tones says loads of what a person is thinking. But those tones must be read along with the tiny body language changes, or it will not help a whole lot. I seem to have a natural ability to do this when in public. The internet is a much different story however. Reading someone online can be extremely difficult without the use of a webcam, as you only have text to go by. But with a few tricks you can look slightly past the mask, but not very far in. Pay attention to key words. Many people appear to overlook this, but it is a very vital tool to understanding someone. Use references. Their text, in terms of being written. How is it written? Is it written like an essay, or like their actually speaking to you? If you must, also refer back to some of their previous posts to get a better idea, by paying close attention *as you would in reading their current post.* Everyone's mask shows some very small form of who they really are. This is merely a surface identification though. As everyone feels the need for privacy to some degree. Reading people very well is not to be taken lightly. Never let a person know you really can see them unless you feel it absolutely necessary. They will generally feel this as an attack and retaliate violently. Even if you have know someone for years, they could still be hiding many important factors about themselves, that would otherwise go unnoticed if not for the small cues.
It all depends on how you do it of course. This is very true. But really, you can't assume you ever know someone, and this is a good way of seeing them. For one thing, it allows them to grow, to change, to understand who they are more easily, without having to deal with the assumptions and judgments that would usually follow them around. These judgments only appear because we think we know something based on how we've looked, what we've seen, what we've experienced, and while our feeling is as right as anyone else's might be, it is also wrong to judge someone this way. Unless one thinks one is always right to make these kind of judgments that is. And if one feels that . . .
Awesome post..I'm always how I seem and gave up trying to act different a long time ago..I think I changed the most when I had near death experiences and just let it all go..even before that though I was always the person who was straight with everyone to the point of rudeness sometimes but they respected the fact that they could always get an honest opinion..I feel like I'm one with everything about myself like I know all my body language and tones convey what I'm actually saying or doing and I have complete confidence in my abilities and acceptance of my flaws without being ashamed of them because I know how I'm working on changing them It does make seeing everyone else's facades annoying though but I don't judge because i know they just haven't got there yet..it also gets pretty lonely because I tend to expect people to open up to me quickly and some don't even have the ability at all which I sometimes take personally but everyone's different so I just look for other positives then..It just sucks analyzing everything to the point of overload but I've gotten better at letting things go..I'm still a work in progress
This is very true. That's the joy of it, watching those ticks turn into tocks. I would have to disagree. I can generally get a good graph of someones personality within 30 minutes or so of hanging out with them. Now if a certain situation has occurred that might make them more blue or more angry, I'll save my final result until their are of normal state. I don't think it's wrong to "judge" people this way. I only use it for me, and to discern if I can enjoy their company or not. I see it like this. If i can get a vibe off of someone when their in their normal state, and that vibe doesn't mesh well with mine, I know that we probably shouldn't attempt to force anything. I'd still say hey here and there, but thats about it. I'm very picky with my friends. And I have good reason to be, as we all do. This method just helps me weed out those I don't think would fit the "friend" category.
Good point. And that might be completely true if the criteria was just about whether this person is to be a friend or not. After all, nobody other than you can decide whether they're able to be. In other cases, you won't be hanging out with someone, and the form your interaction may take might only be moments here and there. Some of what you feel will be based on them; what you see, what you get. While some of it will be based on you; how you feel, the state of mind you're in. If you feel you always see the truth, while you might generally be right, you won't ever know when you're not. It is this that makes me feel that making any judgment (that isn't immediately released) will get in the way of truly seeing someone in any future interaction.
This is a good skill to have. But can you always tell they are in their normal state? What is this normal state you speak of? Aren't we always different? In any case, you're working on an intuitive level - it's just about how people make you feel, and rightly so. It is interesting that you have plenty of potential friends to pick from. I wonder what you'd make of someone like me? I regularly experience people thinking they know who I am or what I feel, and then making some judgment about it. People can't help inferring all sorts of things from someone who doesn't behave how they expect, especially when I'm often silent. Just because I haven't said anything, doesn't mean you know what I feel about it. I suppose if you're doing things intuitively, some potential friends will always fall through the net, but it still ensures that those you catch are those you want. Not sure why, but an argument about the death penalty comes to mind. Does it matter if we execute an innocent man for murder, as long as we believe the death penalty deters other people from doing so? It's happened before. I'm not sure making any kind of judgment about people (your own friend searching mode aside) is a good place to look from. It wouldn't take much to corrupt it. What if a little bit of power comes along? Before you really know it, you're seeing things the way you want to see them because you know that how you see them is always right, and you have the power to affect things accordingly. Dictator's have to start somewhere. Might not be long before you're looking for a small country.
Very true. If I have encountered someone a number of times, but for small periods, I'll just take chunks here and there, and add a filter of X factor, never entirely knowing if their normal state or not. This is also correct. It is how i feel about it. But i feel for me, those feelings are correct a large majority of the time. This could all be an ego state i have manifested, and it could be entirely false. That being said, I hold my previous statement true. Yes I might not know when I';m incorrect. But no one ever said being wrong was a bad thing. So long as I do not act superior, because of my thinking I am right. Well Normal state determining is more of an environmental thing. IS there ashes in the ashtray? Are their beers laid out? Whats the smell in the air? How big are their pupils. Are they acting how they might normally act on any given day? Normal state is unaltered perception. While some people may not view it as the purest state, as some marvelous door are closed, it seems to be the one we spend the most of our time in. As of right now, you're looking good. I enjoy conversations and debates, and while this might not be a debate the conversation is appealing. So from this one thread, I would imagine we would both be enjoyable company. This is a very important thing to realize. I often feel like this when out in public sometimes. But for me, it appears that more extroverts than introverts roam these streets. And so judging a silent person is far and few. It does. Why should an innocent man have to die as a messenger? Let a man who is rightfully guilty be that messenger. But then again, there have been a few cases where new information wasn't revealed until years after the person was convicted, so it creates a sense failure to me. I can see the concern. Once a man has power, he seeks more, until his belly is full and ready to pop. But this is not me. I try to live an honest, proper life. I'm not one for wanting power. I want my peace. My boss could be a 4 year old. So long as I have my peace, it will not matter. I see life as a roller coaster. You gotta get into or your in for a bumpy ride. Might not be. Might not be long before I'm looking for a small village.
Good point. I see. Those kind of details. More specialised than intuitive I feel. Agreed. Not easy to gain much experience with the silent ones. I am not always silent of course, but in silence I notice much. I never really thought otherwise. Let me know when you find one. I like small villages.
Not it is not. They don't give off much to look into. I would have to agree, learning seems to be a silent process.
That's why silence can be uncomfortable for those not comfortable being in it. What is usually inferred by them is imagined. And while I prefer people to know rather than imagine they know, I have to accept that people will often come away with the wrong idea.
You should totally read this book, -A New Earth- Awakening to your life's purpose. By, Eckhart Tolle. Its like a spiritual guide.
as far as my journey has gone, it wasn't directly the anonymity of the internet that allowed me to be who i am. it was the anonymity of the internet that allowed others to be themselves so that i could see that i didn't have to fit in to some social structure that was an effect of the town i grew up in. i saw that i didn't have to act a certain way because, on the internet, i saw that there were so many people that were acting differently and not only were they not being condemned for it, they were actually being respected for it, and by myself as well. and, by extension, i am much more myself than i ever was before. the best way to describe how my social skills use to be is anxious. silence gave me a lot of anxiety so i would respond by filling that gap with something that i ended up regretting filling it with. more anxiety, regret, and retreat. no more. the saying 'silence is golden' means so much more to me now, and ironically helps to fill that social void.