Alive to the universe, dead to the world. I feel as if every man woman and child gets their own carrot to be hung in front of them while they live their lives. Taught to love the carrot, to chase the carrot to the ends of the Earth if necessary. When i walk the streets my legs feel the shock of hitting concrete, my hands stuff my pockets, the cars scream, i see bodies plastered onto walls, faces gleaming at me from magazine racks, nobody looks interested. I pass people one after the other, rarely do they look me in the eye. I can see their thoughts, they think of the future and of the past, their goals both long and short term, but never are they thinking of here, and now. This very moment. We get handed choices. Choose where to work, where to live, what to consume, but never are we given the choice to be free from choices. To realize that you do not want the carrot hung in front of you...it is a sad moment, because you know without any further contemplation that the system of living has already beat you. Your attempts are futile, you scream at nothing. I sit in silence in the woods..my thoughts are heavy, laden with grief. The boughs sigh in the wind around me, as if in agreement with my silent contemplation. I am alive, I harbor many feelings and ideas...but they are dead, as dead as i am to the world.