Discussion in 'General' started by dubaba, Oct 7, 2010.

  1. Millions of Americans believe that aliens have landed from outer space. Thousands of Americans claim to have been abducted by aliens, and to have seen into their flying saucers. The descriptions they give of their abductors usually tally closely with the "creatures from outer space " which have appeared in science-fiction dramas on American television. (Interestingly, America also has the most religious believers in the Western world.) These aliens must have come vast distances before they land in Wyoming or wherever. The nearest star to Earth (apart from our own sun) is Alpha Centauri, more than four light-years away. If the aliens came from any planet around Alpha Centauri, they would have to have a space-ship travelling at the unimaginable speed of one hundred million miles per hour – and even so it would take them twenty-five years to get here. (If they dawdled along at only a million miles per hour, the journey would take two thousand five hundred years.) So it is strange that having come so far they don't hang around a bit and let us all see them. A flying saucer landing in Trafalgar Square during the rush-hour would settle the question once and for all. So why do they apparently scurry back home so quickly? Here is a document that may throw some light on the matter. But whether this is a genuine account, or merely a bit of fiction, readers must decide for themselves. If it is genuine, it may indicate why any aliens would not want to delay their return trip.

    I was in the middle of the Cairngorm Mountains in the Scottish Highlands, miles from any human habitation, when I saw a group of men approaching me. I knew they were from outer space, because they all had pointy ears like Mr. Spock in Star Trek. When they got near enough, one of them said "Greetings, Earthling!" another clue: not many ordinary humans talk like that. "We bring salutations from outer space!" I understood every word, and that was a stroke of luck, because out of all the six thousand languages spoken on Earth, they had happened to learn the only language I knew.

    "We have been reading the news on your internet,” the alien spokesman continued, "and we wish to condole with you on your recession. Hundreds of your schools were going to be rebuilt or refurbished, and now very few of them are. A sad business!" He shook his head. "So there are no people available to do all this rebuilding."

    "Oh yes"” I assured him. "There are two and a half million unemployed in this country, including lots of builders, plasterers, plumbers, electricians, and so on – and lots more of the jobless could quickly learn these skills. The country is full of people who could teach all these useful trades."

    "I see!" said the alien. "So it's bricks, and cement, and pipework, and paint, electric wiring and so on you are short of."

    "Not a bit of it! Since the recession, builders' merchants' yards up and down the country are full of all this stuff."

    "But perhaps the authorities are keeping all these materials in reserve for other important building jobs, in case you run short of raw materials?"

    "No, no, nothing like that. All the raw materials – clay for bricks, metal for pipes and wires, colour for paints – there's more than enough, up and down the country."

    The alien – and his friends – appeared puzzled. Then he brightened up.

    "Ah, I see what it must be. Transport! You've got all these things, but you can't get them to where they are so desperately wanted."

    "Not a bit of it,” I insisted. I didn't want him to think we were that backward. "We have fleets of great trucks, under-used because of the recession. The country is crossed with excellent roads, well surfaced with tarmac. All these materials could be delivered anywhere in Britain within hours."

    The aliens went into a huddle, and jabbered away in their own language. Then the spokesman piped up again.

    "Let's get this straight. You people here in Britain all want these schools to be built or repaired. You have plenty of people standing around idle who would love to do all the work, if only because their children are being educated in inadequate and ill-equipped schools. You have all the materials, and all the transport you need to get them where they are wanted. So – excuse me if I seem a bit obtuse – why don't you just do it?"

    "We haven't got the money, of course!"

    A longer pause this time.

    "Er – what is this 'money?"

    I smiled. How could anyone not know that?

    "You know – money, dibs, spondulicks, the ready! Coins – little round bits of metal, though most of it is paper, nowadays. High grade paper, of course, with nice designs on it – in colour, too."

    "This paper,” said the alien, with a baffled expression. "What does it do? Can you use it instead of bricks? Or instead of slates on the roof?"

    "No, of course not!" Privately I thought that surely space voyagers who have been able to journey billions of miles could get hold of such a simple idea. I tried to explain. "People hand it to each other. Well-off people have to hand some of these bits of paper to the government, then someone hands some of it to the people who make bricks or carry them along the motorway. The actual builders and pipe-layers and so on get some bits of paper each Friday."

    More bewildered conversation among the aliens.

    "This paper – high-grade paper as you say, with coloured designs – can't keep the rain out, or hold the roof up, or carry water or electricity round the new buildings?"

    "No, of course not", I said, laughing. "It would just collapse if you put any strain on it, and any water in a paper pipe would just run away. And if you tried to make electric cables out of paper they would probably catch fire!"

    "But if you don't have these pieces of coloured paper, even though they are only feeble, useless stuff,” said the alien, "you can't have these schools rebuilt and so on?"

    "Exactly," I said. "Now you've got it. Without these pieces of paper, no food is grown or eaten, no clothes are made, no buildings go up – nothing happens. We all have to pass these pieces of paper around to each other, or everything comes to a halt. In fact most of us here on Earth spend a large part of our time handing these pieces of paper on to other people. Every organisation has many people who spend their lives writing down figures about all these pieces of paper: doing sums, all day. In fact some great concerns don't do anything else – banks, credit card companies, insurance companies, people concerned with revenue and taxation – all of them spend their lives fiddling with these bits of paper."

    The aliens all looked at each other. I saw several of them pointing a finger to their own foreheads, and making a kind of circular motion with the finger, while pulling a face. I wonder what that means in alien language?

    After some more unintelligible conversation, the spokesman said that they had decided to get back in their flying saucer and get away as soon as possible. I thought I heard him say something like, "I thought we were told there was intelligent life on this planet!" but perhaps I mis-heard.
  2. Way to long... read only the first part, and any alien species that is traveling vast distances has most likely found a way around that, such as worm holes.
  3. way too long to read, but...

    Lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis explain "abductions".
    Media influences explain the consistency of details.
    Nothing more. We are light years upon light years away from any other living organism. And considering the time line of human evolution, they wouldn't be nearly as advanced to find a way to travel that kind of distance in a sensible amount of time.

    Dont get me wrong. Thinking we are the only planet with living species on it is one of the most asinine and narcissistic beliefs in this world. Our little tiny ass planet in this little tiny ass solar system in this little tiny ass galaxy with all these tiny ass stars. Multiply that by billions and that how much shit we have out there, and youre telling me we are the only planet with species. Its ridiculous. But i still do not believe then entire alien sightings shit.
  4. Lol thread isnt really about aliens
  5. These guys are a little slow.
  6. Seriously? Too long to read? That's pretty pathetic if you think something that takes no more than 5 minutes to read is too long to read.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Too long to read. If you shorten it, I'll read it.
  8. not to call you out or anything but, maybe some people have better things to do than read up on fictional tales of aliens on GC.

    but i have experienced sleep paralysis before and fully agree that it is the cause for most of the "abduction tales." its pretty trippy stuff
  9. You guys must have not watched enough Reading Rainbow.

    Here I'll help you learn how to read

    [ame=]YouTube - Old School Reading Rainbow Theme[/ame]
  10. Nice read.

    To sum it up for all you folks. The aliens see the humans as dumb because they have all the materials, everything to rebuild. But the only thing that stops humans is a piece of useless, insignificant paper.

    The aliens thought humans were stupid and left.

    Now Discuss.
  11. that was a great read

    It's also very true, some people sacrifice most of their lives for money, money this money that, that's all you hear nowadays. :(

    the value of a dollar is greater than you think:smoke:
  12. reminds me of the Venus Project from the zeitgeist movie
  13. It's not a serious discussion of alien life, it's a parable about the lack of intelligence on this planet.

  14. such indicated with the inability to read a 5 minute long story :laughing:
  15. Beat me to it :)
  16. We still have hope for your species...errrr I mean IF aliens exist I'm sure they still are holding out hope that you...I mean we...we start to show some signs of sentience.

    Fuck it. You all know too much now. Remain where you are, we'll be with you shortly. The mind wipes do not hurt if you do not resist.
    • Like Like x 1

  17. Sad to read, but it's the truth :(

    I fear we as a human population have just... stupified ourselves.

    [ame=]YouTube - "Idiocracy" introduction - the future of human evolution[/ame]
  18. i was watching on show on this subject on the history channel with one of the bros the other day (toking it up of course :)). but it went into how picture from way back (renasounce era) have pictures of "angels" and "gods" coming down. the theory was what if all of those "religious" pictures were acutally pictures of aliens? jimi hendrix was also into the idea of aliens and even claims (or claimed whatever haha) to have had experience with aliens. very possible and very interesting.
  19. Im sorry. What i meant to say is that after reading the first two sentences it was so uninteresting for me that i did not bother reading anymore yet i felt the need to comment and rant on a subject that although has very little to do with the original post, relates to the general topic. But instead of explaining why i did not read this "no more than 5 minute" passage, i summed it all up and sweetly with "too long to read." Now shut the fuck up with your egotistical bullshit.

Share This Page