k, sort of a odd question. Plz don't flame me. Anyhow so I have really really crappy luck with females. I have somewhat of a mindset now that females are all bitches, and that I should just be single for ever--which maybe due to past rejections, or of course my personal issues (more then likely...lol) I struggle with some confidence/self esteem issues--most are about my looks. Yet I only struggle with these issues becuase I haven't been with a sig. other in anyway at all (fuck buddy/dates/relationship/other) for over a year now. I've never recived a comment from a girl, and I in all honestly I have a mindset that girls simply don't find me attractive, and as a result I figure--why try at all. I work out every God damn day, and I just got a job (so at least I'm happy in the money department, and I at least stay healthy). I just can't understand myself sometimes I guess.... All of my friends that I talk to about this issue just say "just go out and fucking talk to girls" e.t.c. Obviously this is some obvious advice. And some of you will probally give me the same advice (or along the same path of advice). So--where can I meet some decent, and cool girls? Like ones that have their life going in the right direction e.t.c. that are more on the intellectual side, I guess a little bit more mature. And what are some good excersizes do raise my self confidence levels? (not as in physical excersizes, more along the side of emotional/psycological excersizes e.t.c.) Thanks for understanding, and caring pz ps: NOTE: I do turn 21 in early Aug. So I guess my chances of meeting some decent mature women will be increased then, as locations for me to go will be more prevolent. Yet even still--I still doubt any female will be interested in me at a bar, or I'll sum up enough courage to really talk to one--unless I just get hella faded....lol
raise your confidence by instead of thinking about it, just doing it. it's when you stop and worry about the consequences that you shake yourself down. you have to one day just force yourself to do it. just be like, go. just do it without thinking irrationally and against your instinct. and then at that time you're already talking and it's happening. you're a smoker so you should be fairly immune to embarrassment (more than you think). you may know the awkwardness of rejection it's there, but just be chilling. anyway, act like you know what you're doing even if you don't. looks do matter unfortunately, but usually aren't as bad as the person thinks. and a girl will usually look right through looks if the first thing she hears grabs her interest/doesn't want her to try to get away. i'm pretty stoned; i don't know if this will help. maybe i'll repost again tomorrow when sober. but the only way to make yourself get more confident is to just do it man. there isn't always a right time and sometimes it's just jumping out there. take the chance. pump yourself up and do it. when you do just think of the first thing that pops into your mind, maybe something about the situation. as for never receiving a comment, don't worry about it. that's nothing to even think about. and do not be a bitch/immediately begin to do anything and everything for the girl. if a relationship starts you can do it later on in that. but at first meeting, you can't come off as desperate or really wanting her. sometimes a bit of flirting and letting them know you're interested is good. but that's only sometimes - usually you'll get a feel for when. act uninterested but keep them curious. i'm tired now. bye.
^^^ thx man. Ya repost when your sober agian. lol!! In all honesty I don't think I'm a bad looking guy at all. Its just that I keep thinking that I am because I have ZERO luck with females. So as a result I immdeitaly think that I'm not attractive...
First of all, you need to decide what you're looking for; someone to talk to or someone to bang. Because you described yourself as unconfident around women, I'm assuming you're a pretty nice guy. Sorry to break it to ya bud, but thats probably why you have shitty luck with the babes. Anyways, if you decide the latter (you want to get some poon), you should check out Tom Leykis. He does a radio show that may be right up your alley.
sooo...what are you suggesting? Being a total jerk and ass to women and totally changing my personallity just to get some pussy? lol!! Naw but for real---advice?
sooo...was I right about the nice guy thing? and btw, that was real advice edit: ima go smoke a spliff so I'll brb. but anyway, are you looking for poon or a buddy?
hahaha i always end up a bitch to chicks, as sirseedy was talkin about. ALL of em, I get too nice, too friendly, and next thing I know they're telling me 'bout some dude she was screwin the night before, like we're best friends. happened to me twice this year. Happened a third time too, but i've resolved it since
I know where you're coming from being the nice guy. I was there (before I knew any better) and am still trying to completely shake that reputation. So since I know how much it sucks to be the friend, im suggesting two ways that are almost guaranteed to get you out of your "slump". The easy way or the hard way best of luck [edit: post #69. sweeeet.]
Yeah dude, you have to establish yourself as dating-only, no friendship bullshit. I've made that mistake before and this girl ends up crying to me about her life and boyfriend and shit, and I was just like "I'm outta here" and left her hanging. No point in putting up with that shit man if you're not getting any poon. Everyone must read the following page. I'll make it bold, big, and impossible to miss: Ladder Theory Trust me, it's not boring. You'll feel 100 times smarter about women after you read it.
well I'm already on my way to the "hard way". Ordered my *hand made* ESP KH-2 just about a week ago. $1500 for guitar, case, 2 free gifts (a pedal tuner and some other thing), and free UPS 3 day shipping. woot.
well, consider this. you can't be too nice or it's a turnoff. it's a fact. i used to be nice. they don't like that at first. females can feel free to post here as well but this is what i've noticed from my experience. you can't be a total dick either. for some reason total dicks pull a lot of chicks, but i'd rather be nice, confident, and only as mean as i need to be when it comes to getting a girl's attention. even if that means less of a selection. i don't want to be a total asshole. but yeah, you can't be too nice. if you get a relationship going, then you can throw on a little of the nice guy stuff. but too much too fast will fuck you over. that's fact. just be confident and act like you know what you're doing. and you can't stress on one girl. you gotta keep in mind that there are plenty of others though it may not seem that way. can't let her know you have her singled out. i might toss more on later, but i'm in a hurry. later. good luck. just do it. and don't be too nice.
Ok-thought I should clarify what I'd like e.t.c. Well to tell you the truth right now in my life I would rather prefer a relationship thats actually meaningful. Yet I haven't been laid for over 1 1/2 years now--so honestly getting some puntane wouldn't be a bad idea either. lol! pz Oh ya--easiest way to get a chick: lol!
It's very simple. With a basic understanding of Leykis101 and the Ladder theory, you should be able to get more ass in one month than you have gotten in your entire life. You have all the tools, you just have to know how to use them.
with the Ladder theory you have to basically establish a friendship first. And according to the ladder theory its almost impossible to get some pus once you are a esstablished friend.
Eh, well, it has been a while since I read it. But from what I remember, you are to avoid the "Friend Ladder" at all cost, and work your way up the "Real Ladder," as quickly as possible.
but the problem with the whole concept is that if the girl isn't interested in you on the "real ladder" then you immediatly fall into the "Friend ladder" category--as a result your basically doomed, unless you try to jump ladders--which rarely has any result, and you fall into the "pit of doom" lol!