After 6 years, lost everything. Everything.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by whos_gotherb311, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. #1 whos_gotherb311, Feb 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2014
    So tonight is a pretty shitty valentines day. Its been a pretty shitty past 2 1/2 months and honostly, a pretty shitty past year. Here's why. 
     
    My girlfriend and I got together 6 years ago. Before her, I had a 3 month realtionship with a girl that treated me terribly, so bad that I can really not even consider it a relationship. We met at a job and hit it off right away, within a few weeks we considered ourselves official. 
     
    About 8 months into it, she told me she wanted to move to Cali where her mom and that side of her family lived. I didn't know anyone out there, didnt have a job out there and saw the hwole thing as a huge risk. A few months later, I gave in and we packed all our shit and went out there. 
     
    We lived with her mom in a house we all rented and it was pretty peachy. I was working, living a decent life style and it was all going swell. After about two years there, our relationship was copasetic and we were talking about getting married. But then, her sister finished college from up north and moved in with us. 
     
    Her sister is a bit younger than us, is diagnosed and medicated bi-polar and is typically unstable. Her sister and mother are also super tight, nothing can come between them, not even my girlfriend. I wasn't aware of this at first, but her mother has also been in counseling for the greater part of 20 years. Based on her behavior, it seems like she has borderline anti social personality disorder. This combined created a very dysfunctional living environment. 
     
    Alright, so, her sister moved in and within the first few weeks, shit started going down. It started when we moved into a new house, of which we were all on the lease and all paid rent, and her sister every morning would walk around for 10 minutes or so in heels on the kitchen floor, which was right above our room. My girlfriend and I talked about how disruptive it was becoming and how we both wanted it to stop. My gf one night very hesitently went to her sister and politley asked if she could wait to put on her shoes for work until after she was done in the kitchen. Her sister told her she didn't want to do that and to "deal with it". 
     
    A week later, I approached her sister and asked her the same thing, and her response was "get over it". She even told me that I should be waking up anyways since it was about 7 A.M. and I could think of it as an alarm clock. I couldn't beleive that shit. 
     
    A few weeks before this, my gf and I bought a dog, who I fell absolutly in love with. I took care of this dog and raised her like a child. Well, my gf's mother and sister had alreayd had a dog for some years, and from the time we brought this new dog into the house as a puppy, the other dog would show aggression in the upstairs part of the house. At first, it bothered me and I asked her mom what the plan was to prevent that behavior, and she said she didnt think there was anything wrong with it and she had no plan. 
     
    Well, when I talked to my girlfriend about this, she refused to talk to her mother. Her justification was that she didn't like confrontations, but also that she knows her mother and sister cannot be reasoned with. The fact her mom and sister are mental I couldn't hold against her, but that she wouldn't talk to them because she would prefer to avoid confrontation at all costs, that I did hold against her. 
     
    Well, after 7 months of this dog trying to attack my puppy, I siad enough is enough and blew up on the two bitches. They essentially admitted that its wrong, but that they are sociopaths and were born without compassion and were happy that there dog was attacking mine. I told my girlfriend I was leaving, broke the lease, and moved in with a friend. My friends house I couldn't have the dog, so our only option was for her to stay at the house with my girlfriend. 
     
    Four months go by, we were still together, and during that time I would frequent the house and sometimes spend the night. She asked me to move back in, I talked with her mom and sister and the said it would be OK, and I moved back in. NOTHING had changed. Shoes on the kitchen floor, dog attacking my dog, my gf's sister even got upset with my gf because my gf would not agree to trade cars with her because my gf's car got better gas mileage and she didnt want to. Like, a week of silent treatment because of it.
     
    My gf still refused to leave the house, or confront her mom and sister about their dog. At this time, I really began to resent her for this. I put my heart into this dog of ours, and although she disagreed with the behavior of her moms dog at first, she eventually became resigned from it and just stopped caring, even though it continued to happen every day. Whenever I would bring up the issue, she'd get upset with me. This was very challenging situation for me to deal with, I loved this dog to death and hated to see it getting attacked like it was, but I also loved this girl. However, I felt the dog situation was a good litmus test for how she may perform as a mother. I feel that its safe to conclude that if she cannot raise a dog responsibly, she woudl have no chance in raising a child responsibly.
     
    Well, after a total of 2 1/2 years with the dog situation and 4.5 living with her crayz bitch mother in CA, I moved out for good, left the state and came back to live with my family. The divide that living in the house caused a huge fracture in our relationship and we decided to "take a break". Well, I always gave her liberty to have friends, guy friends, and have communication with her ex because I trusted her. That generally worked out, she had guy friends who we would all hang out with. However, the months leading up to me leaving and our break, she started hanging out with her new work friends a lot, spending the night out, and not inviting me out. She also would openly text and talk about a guy within that group of friends. I began to get suspicious when she woudl pack her make up in her overnight bag. 
     
    So, some people may feel that I crossed some lines by doing this, but, her phone was on my ATT account. I could login to my ATT account online, and view her phones calls and texts. No names or content of texts, just numbers and dates and times. But then I could use a website like spokeo to reverse lookup who numbers belonged to. I think anyone who had the kind of concerns I did at this time would have done the same thing, and I had caught her multiple times logging into my actual phone and going through my text messages, as well as reading chat conversation I had with my brother on FB. So, I noticed that she would have over 500 texts a month with this one number, and it was the guy at work she talked about. 
     
    I confronted her about it, and she said its nothing, theyre just friends, and thats all. One day, just before christmas, a package came to the door from Macy's, and she said it was a scarf she bought for herself. She opened it and left the box in the room, and I looked at the packing slip that comes in the box with info on it, and it was paid for by him. $130 cashmere scarf. I caught her in a lie, but I was only a few weeks away from leaving and decided not to say anythign because I knew she would just deny it. I told myself, alright dude, its over, you cant trust her, you know she isn't fit to be a mother nor a wife, just live the next few weeks peacefully with your dog and enjoy those last few weeks with your dog. 
     
    So, those weeks go by and I leave to go home. The day I left she started pouring her heart out to me, telling me she cant beleive this is what it has come to, how sorry she is, how its her fault for not wanting to get our own place with our dog and how her mom and sister are to blame for a lot of things. The feelings of damn, I have put my life into this girl for 6 years, and I know what shes up to, but this seems genuine. I got home, and unknowing to her, continued to invesitgate her phone activity through my ATT account login. 
     
    Well, after about a week, she started to act bitter towards me for leaving. When I reminded her why I didnt want to stay in the house, and how she had told me that it was her fault, she would get quiet or try and deflect by saying "well its not totally my fault". Well, I eventually told her that I know about her and the other guy and the scarf present, and she said that she didnt know he was getting it for her and returned it, but told her that she lied to me about it, even if that was true. She continued to deny it and would act irritated and blow up with anger about me bringing it up. This was about 2 weeks ago. 
     
    A few days after that convo, we hadnt talked at all, and she sent me a string of texts apologizing about getting upset, and continuing to tell me that there's nothing going on, and that she was planning on sending the dog here to live with her dad (because I cannot have her at the house I live in right now). This was kind of a hook, and we began to make plans for how we were going to get the dog here. Well, she said she was going away for the weekend with her cousin to go snowboarding in the mountains, and would be out of signal. Of course, I looked at her phone records and she hadn't made or received any calls or texts from her cousin. While she was there, she was using her phone often and any calls or texts to this guy from work ceased. Lots of evidence that she was there with this guy from work and just lying to me about who she was with. 
     
    Enough was enough. That was last weekend and I have spoken to her a few times this week at which time she stated she was having second thoughts about sending our dog here. She also told me she was going out with a mutual friend of ours back in CA for his birthday tonight, valentines day night. We spoke earlier today about that, but now she has not answered any of my calls, but has since texted other people. I think its obvious she is actually out with this guy from her work, which all signs show that they are probably in a full on relationship. 
     
    And here I am, tonight on valentines night without her, without my dog, all alone drowning in my sadness. I've been contemplating what I should do from here, and the obvious answer is to full on break it off for good. The only thing I dont know is how I should go about doing it. Should I be vengeful and tell her I never want to see or speak to her again, call this guy she has been seeing to let him know that we have still been together, should I be calm and collected about it? 
     
    Our relationship has been degrading for years, and honestly, although it hurts me that shes been cheating on me, lying to me, and trying to turn it around on me, at this point it hurts me more knowing that I may never see my dog ever again. 
     
    TL;DR
    After being with my gf for a year and a half, we both moved to CA and lived with her mom. Her sister eventually moved in, and both turned out to be mentally unstable. 
     
    My gf and I got a dog together, and shit began to hit the fan because of her mom and sisters problems. Our dog was getting attacked everyday by their dog in the house, which started to drive me away from her. My gf refused to do anything about the problem. 
     
    After 2.5 years of this, I began to stop showing her attention, and she began fucking another dude. I moved out of the house and lost my dog who I loved, told her I knew she was cheating, she denied it but told me she still wanted to be together. 

     
  2. That's shitty man. But you gotta move forward from this. It seems like you're pretty introspective and rational about the whole thing so I think you'll be aite.
     
    And I hope you get your fucking dog back, next hit goes out to you  :smoke:
     
  3. You shouldnt have a dog if you cant take care of one. I read your whole story to a friend and we both agreed on this. You could have caged your dog or done any number of things differently to keep the dog, but living with people is always a huge mistake, one youre continuing to make.

    This girl is a liar. Youve already decided that she is not worthy of you. Literally, you are not compatible. She has serious mental issues. Look at her family and how she was raised. Its a shame you wasted six years of your life, when the signs were there all along and stared us (your readers) painfully in the face in your story. Love is blind.

    Let her go. You still have time and shouldnt waste anymore on her. Shes not wasting any time doing anything but fucking with your head while laying in his bed
     
  4. Lose the cheating bitch ,try to get your dog back (if you can't then don't go to jail over a dog and just get another one) ,and move on with your life. In do time things will be better without her around. Hell maybe you should even stay single for awhile ,and have a little fun before getting tied down again. Do you friend.
     
  5. Let her go man, do you want to be happy and forget about her? Dw one day when all the partying is over and this guys fucks up, she will def be thinking about you trust me.
     
  6. Hope you get your dog back..you should have brought your dog home with you in the first place, that's what I would have done.
     
  7. Get your dog back, fuck that psycho chick you are better off without her.
     
  8. Dude. You have it answrred for yoursrlf. Dont bother with her. Look on the bright side, you left before shit got real messy. More than I can say for myself.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I437P using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
  9. Get your dog back and get a pit bull puppy so the dog has a buddy.
     
    Fucking bitches come and go, dog is mans best friend.
     
    2 years ago I split after 11 years, she got the new truck and motor home. now she is poor and my new woman is awesome.
     
    Call it an UPGRADE!
     
  10. The only thing you are out is the dog. I'm a cold hearted prick dude! And I got that way because of dealing with people like them. If you can get the dog back do it. But don't let her use the dog as a bargaining chip. Suck it up, harden up and move on. Read your own story, and don't try justifying it. You are either a weak person who cares more for a dog then you do for this girl you love, while at the same pretending to be confident, you were secretly jealous and a stalker....... It's either that or this chick who you loved dragged your ass away from your life and into her co-Dependant madness, then isolated you and left you at the mercy of her fucked up family until your only friend was a dog, then began to have her life while excluding you which turned you into something you weren't and are now resentful for!
    In betting the latter. Now put on your big boy pants, blaze a doobie for your lost dog and start to put the pieces of YOUR life back together. So what it being Valentines day. It's just another day. You got off easy and cheap bro. Don't let this chick have another opportunity to fuck you up more. As it is now you will always have trust issues, and will likely be hesitant to even have any sort of shared property for a while. Stick around and vent blade.... By all means. But don't ask Bill O'Reilly to validate your parking if you choose to go back. Is the wrong thing, and you know that!
     
  11. You're not in the same state as her anymore right? After all this, just drop it like a bad habit man that's exactly what it is. I know it's easy for me to say that but continuing to keep contact with her is just gonna prolong the feelings. The sooner you stop, the sooner you'll move on. Start a new life in your town man.
     
  12. I know the feels, bro. Love is hard and when it's not going good it just eats you from the inside out. I think you should get the dog back but don't be vengeful about it. It's not the best way to do it. Just be calm and respectful about it and tell her that it's over.  I know you two aren't together now and that's what some girls do. They look for someone else to fill the void. Even if it isn't as serious as you guys relationship were. You guys weren't together anymore and to be fair it is up to her to do what she wants to do with her romantic life and if she ain't yours then it isn't as much as your business anymore but I know that doesn't make it hurt any less. It seems like it would be best for you two to go your separate ways but end it maturely and respectfully even if she doesn't deserve it.
     
  13. Dump the hoe man, she ain't loyal.


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  14. You shouldn't be sad that youre without her because it looks like thats where you should be. As far as cutting her off just say hey I know you're seeing this guy and still lying to me because of that I don't want to talk to you so this is it. And delete her number if she text back tell her to send the dog if you want it if not then dont say anything back at all
     
  15. #15 Stride420, Feb 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2014
    Dude I'm gonna be blunt. I read your whole post. You've wasted 6 years with this girl. Don't waste anymore time on her. You've already learned she can't be trusted. Only thing now is to cut off all ties with her.

    Edit: Don't think of it as losing everything but think of as a fresh new start. You don't have that headache to deal with anymore. Be glad it was only 6 years and just a lease of a house and not 12 years and a marriage and your house and kids taken.

    Think positively man.
     
  16. Your girlfriend was clearly crazy all along. She willingly wanted to move back in with her mentally ill family and subject herself to their abhorrent and erractic behavior because she is cut from the same clothe as them, a bat shit insane one at that!
    Her inaction and callousness towards that situation proves she is just as emotionally and mentally unstable as her family member with actual diagnosis.
    That much is as clear as day, and sadly bro, I can only come to the conclusion that you yourself are emotionally unstable because no sane man worth his salt would stick around for six long years in this pathetic situation you just depressingly laid out for all us blades.
    If you don't end this right this second you deserve all the pain and sadness this situation will continue to offer you.
     
  17. If he hooks back up with her the OP should get kicked in the nuts.
     
  18. Ill be honest that kind of broke my heart just reading that man.... I really feel for you dude. I hate that you can't even have your dog cause you share a special bond from an animal that you raise. If i was you... I would tell her like it is. I would hurt her feelings and completely drop her, thats easier said then done. Who knows it could maybe snap her out of it and she would come crawling back to you for good, this happened to one of my best friends before. I really hope you figure something out and i wish you the best of luck. I would try to find a glimpse of light in a dark time, it helps out so much
     
  19. Holy shit.tell.me.the address so I can fly out bang your ex and take your dog and take good care of her.


    Nah but really, why would you leave your dog there?



    And why you dragging this on bro, you know shes a cheating whore. Yeah you wasted 6 years but if you get sucked in to her bullshit again you're going to.waste more time and just get bombarded with more stress.

    move the fuck on dude I feel bad for you just by reading your story. Stop being a sucker, she's straight out playing you with a loser who seduces the girl with a cheap ass scarf from macys lawl
     
  20. damn he done busted out the LAWL lolol
     
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