Sneakiness is a bad sign. Anger towards you is a bad sign, yelling or misunderstanding. Separation. Hiding phone or takes calls outside.
Frequent arguments is a bad sign. A guy becoming more jealous and controlling then before is a bad sign. Not having anything to talk about is a bad sign. Less time spent together can be a bad sign... like if he isn't busy and just doesn't want to see you. Also having good sex isn't really a sign that the relationship should continue in my eyes. I had great sex for two years in a relationship that should have ended way before that.
[quote name='"shestones17"'] Also having good sex isn't really a sign that the relationship should continue in my eyes. I had great sex for two years in a relationship that should have ended way before that.[/quote] why end it if the sex is great? that can fix any problem, no relationship will be perfect. people disagree
Sex can't fix any problem. If you think sex is going to fix a broken relationship you're wrong. My ex treated me like shit. He'd try to make me feel bad by telling me I was weak or stupid or fat or ugly. He also cheated on me for our entire 2 year relationship. We had A LOT of sex. Good sex. And I sucked his dick all the time without him asking. Sex didn't fix that broken relationship. If anything sex confuses a broken relationship and makes people stay when they really shouldn't be together anymore.
If you find yourself mentally complaining, feeling hateful, or hurtful towards your other half... if the time you spend together is diminishing in both length, and quality, if one or the other is keeping secrets and can't share his or her day-to-day life, and if at the same time you find yourself or your partner intentionally sharing things about past history and relationships, that may be hurtful, or that may be intended to 'put someone in their place', then you may not be compatible. It doesn't mean a relationship like that won't stagger on for 10 years, or even a lifetime. And it doesn't mean that you don't, or never 'loved' each other. (You can love friends, and family, who you'd never want to live and share 100% of your life with!) It just means there is a VERY good chance that you're missing out on the opportunity to feel and know true happiness, within a successful partnership Sex can be confusing in those scenarios, because for many people there is something exciting about sleeping with someone you don't always get along with... it's sort of like starting the relationship over every so often, and a false sense of 'newness' and lust similar to the beginnings of a relationship (or even relief) occurs with the sex. People sometimes mistakenly call this 'passion'. I only continue being in relationships where I don't feel like I need to hide anything, and rather than sharing out of 'obligation' or duty, it's out of the sheer desire and pleasure that is achieved simply by experiencing that mutual connection with my very best friend, and lover. If you're really good for each other, there's no need for 'secret girls/guys nights out' in healthy, lasting, mature relationships, and there is no reason to deny or hide what you've been up to. If he or she is curious about your life and wants to know how your day went, in a healthy relationship that's nothing short of an honor... it's not a demand, and there is no pressure. When you get down to it, just how many people really give a hoot, what you're doing with your life? When you're old, you'll begin to realize and appreciate just how rare that is. I enjoy being true to my partner (we don't get in relationships for the sake of being untrue, after all ) and I enjoy sharing what I've been up to when we're apart.... But when your partner genuinely feels the same, not out of obligation or out of a need for 'control', but out of pleasure and the simple desire to know more about you, it's one of the most bonding, amazing, invaluable connections that you'll ever have with a person. If you want heightened privacy when you're apart, and if sharing feels 'burdensome', then you're likely dating something more akin to your mom or dad, rather than a healthy partner! If that starts happening, and that closeness just isn't there, I'm not going to force it or share when it's unwanted, nor am I going to demand answers from them... what's the point in that? It's better to cut ties before things get messy... or messier. I've been in only two relationships in my lifetime. I've never even casually dated around, but just those two little partnerships add up to nearly 20 years in duration between the two! Any scenario that doesn't meet my compatibility standards, just never enters the equation, and it's spared me loads of wasted time and grief! I'm a very private person and I don't share much with friends or acquaintances, so a healthy relationship, or that 'one person' I pick out of the entire globe, to share my life with, is essential to my well-being in terms of social interaction and companionship. You have to be fair to one another and you need to be aware of both your needs. It's important to consider your needs and desires, and those of your partner equally, and decide if realistically this can work. If I have to pick just one, it's going to be the cream of the crop! But that label only applies, if they are looking for and appreciate the same in a partner. The only secrets and privacy I enjoy in a relationship, come around during Birthdays, and Christmas, or they're moments that happen in the bathroom... If it's been ten years, and they still don't know for certain whether or not I relieve myself, I've done my job right. PS - Never have a baby or get a pet (with a decent lifespan ) too early in a relationship, and NEVER do so just to 'repair' an already failing or broken relationship... that especially, always ends badly. Often even if the couple stays together. The relationship A.) crashes even more severely under the added stress, the parents drift further apart, resentment increases, but at the same time the two find themselves feeling forced to stay together out of a misguided sense of obligation. Or B) the child or pet just becomes something even more heart-wrenching that you'll have to divide, and split up, once the inevitable occurs. In the end, it's about compromising when needed (you are two different beings, who once existed independently of one another, after all ) and more importantly, it's about shared values... in the best relationships, the act of compromising may not even be an issue or an occurrence. But if you're compromising too much, then as healthy as it is to graciously bend your will for one another, and is healthy as it is to be capable of accepting your differences, without resentment, you need to draw a line somewhere... particularly once you find yourself wondering just where all this compromising, leaves any time for shared enjoyment. Sorry for the long post by the way... over the years I've been the 'go-to' when it comes to casual relationship counseling.
^ That guy. It all comes down to signs that you're growing apart. Wanting different things in life and in the relationship. You can still be in love with your partner, but if the relationship isn't being done justice, it's time to call it quits. That was my experience with my last breakup. I was incredibly in love with her, but we were at different stage in life. I couldn't give her what she wanted, and she couldn't give me what I wanted. Could we have worked it out? Maybe, with time. But time is precious when you're young, and you can't put yourself on hold.
You guys are giving me some really good advice... Thanks A LOT, really I'm at a very confused place in life right now. Confused and lost. And @honeymoon, I will probably take you up on that offer thank you
You start realizing that you are heading in a different direction in your life and it smacks you in the face like a frying pan... good relationships are hard and even harder to keep, its all worth it in the end though.
You're welcome. I'm more than happy to help. I went through something similar at one point. I'm here if you want to talk. You know we all love your horny ass
It's all about how you feel. Lately, Mr. G has been spending a lot of time with his friend. I mean, EVERYDAY. It bothers me, I get lonely and sad, but then I think about the change we're both going through and I understand why he wants this time with his friends. He still loves me and I still love him, I still see myself with him forever. If that changes then maybe it's time to end things. Good luck.
this is something that perplexes me, maybe it is because i am so young and new to the dating scene since i was a late bloomer at 18 and im 21 now... do you actually "imagine" and see yourself with Mr. Girly like 50 years down the road still snuggling together and finding fun in the little things once grandfather time has ravaged both of you?