Advice about Relationship problems with a non smoker

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Jay1022, May 5, 2016.

  1. hey guys, I couldn't find any threads with a similar problem as mine, so please excuse me if this has already been discussed, but I need some stoners help...
    So me and my gf have been together for four years, all throughout I have smoked, recently I started smoking more often, and started believing it was helping out with my focus in terms of remaining calm when I study/do assignments and just to manage the overall stress of college.. Her mom picked up that I was smoking and confronted her, asking questions and putting thoughts in her head that I don't think we're there before.. My gf has never enjoyed the herb, but generally accepted me smoking, as she always said it was my decision and as long as I didn't over do it she was chill.. So when her mom found out, she confronted my mom(whose the typical "weed will ruin your life" believer) and this caused my mom to kind of go apeshit..to cut the long ass story short, I told my mom whilst I'm living under her roof I'd stop blazing, even though I completely disagree with her views, because I regard our relationship as more important than getting grilled to help me chill out.. Now discussing this with my gf, it's come to the surface that although she understands my reasoning for wanting to smoke, she doesn't want me to smoke as "it's a drug in her eyes, she doesn't want me wasting my money on it, and she doesn't want it getting out of hand one day"besides showing her many various articles stating its benefits and growing world wide acceptance, she still firmly sticks to her decision of not wanting me to blaze again... This is really hard for me to come to terms with, as I couldn't wait to move out, start growing my own and possibly getting involved in the cannabis industry...and now I sort of have to accept that she seems to not want to accept my point of view, besides saying that she understands why I smoked... I know a lot of guys on here will just say dump her for not accepting who I am, but I really feel like her and I are the perfect high school sweet heart couple you hardly ever hear about, and don't want to throw that away... so I'm super confused about what to do here, mj, who always makes me feel good and happy, or the girl most guys dream of having, but can never get.....
    So any advice from fellow stoners who are in relationships like this would be greatly appreciated✌sorry for the long read..
     
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  2. I wouldn't plan on getting into the marijuana industry, its beyond flooded. Grow for yourself and find a real job.

    If she means that much to you you're gonna need to cut back, or hide it, or convince her, or dump her.
     
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  3. There is a good reason you don't hear the "high school sweethearts" thing often...As you mature in your high school relationship a lot of people start realizing they want different things in life. The same thing happened to me and I ended a 5 and a half year relationship not only because of my smoking, although it was a factor. What it ultimately came down to was her wanting me to change into a person I wasn't to fit her life plan, which I was not willing to do as I wanted totally separate things. I am now in a relationship that I am FAR happier in and I can totally be myself without having to worry about my girlfriend wanting to change who I am.


    I won't tell you to dump her, but you may want to evaluate exactly what you want in life and see if that is in any way similar to what she wants. If not, well I would prefer to be happy on my own than forcing myself to be someone I am not just to stay in a relationship with someone who clearly doesnt get me.
     
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  4. You cannot deal with this issue through your girlfriend, you need to go through the mother, who originally instilled these thoughts.

    Dealing with your girlfriend without dealing with the mother is like cleaning up the oil spill, but not finding the leak.. No point in doing any major cleaning until you find the leak.
     
  5. You sound like you're more into the idea of your relationship than you are the girl you're in a relationship with.

    If you would have said something along the lines of " I love this girl, I wanna be with her... blah blah blah" I'd suggest sticking it out.

    But you just mentioned you don't want to lose the "high school couple thing you don't see anymore", which is ridiculous, especially after her and her family fucked with your life the way they did.

    Dump that toxic chick. Do you and compromise for nobody.
     
  6. Thanks guys, really appreciate the insight..to withthemadness:I would love to deal with the "oil leak"being my mother...but unfortunately I don't see there being a fix for that situation..I've explained in detail the benefits I got from it,I've asked her how drinking 2 or so glasses of wine a night Can make her believe wanting a way to relax is wrong, and many other issues Have been discussed..I've shown her articles and explained videos I've seen..I've bought up the fact that there are many successful stoners who succeed because of their desire to achieve,but she just doesn't accept it..I've come to accept the only way I can get her to accept my usage is to become successful in her eyes,and then point out that I've been using it all a long,one day...
    To lessthanjeezy and mayormcstoned: I see where you guys are coming from, I even understand most of your points...but this girl is really special to me,she's sweet and so caring,and although her beliefs are stupid as shit, I believe she's doing this because she thinks it's best for me.. I can't imagine leaving her for this,I really want to work it out with her..I'm torn between feelings about this situation,like I can easily imagine living a fulfilling happy life with her...the only problem is the green situation,I guess I'm just hoping she'll get over her opinions,but not sure how to get her to this realisation...
    Thanks for the replies fellow blades, really good to hear others opinions to help me put this in perspective
     

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