I am at a crossroads. I have my reasons for using cannabis -- arthritis, asthma, and low latent inhibition. It works wonders for all three and after my first medicated sessions when I was 23, I swore I'd stick by mary jane's side for life. It's been five years. In that time I've gotten two Bachelors' degrees and married, so I know it doesn't impede me in any way from living life. I hate having low latency, but I feel really dumb and dull now that I prevent it from overtaking my life. It made me thirsty to learn and understand everything; I'm used to taking on fifty things at once, or having a to-do list that resembles Leonardo da Vinci's. I see that list and I LONG FOR MY FORMER SELF. I used to be scatter-brained and trying to learn it all. The desire for medicating was to curtail the anxiety I feel from overwhelming and overloading on auditory and visual stimuli. It does this too well. I think I have the potential to do great things if I allow my l.l.i. to run free and to stop using cannabis (perhaps I could continue with nighttime relief). As it stands, I'm on track to become an audiologist, but I really don't think I'll be happy with just that. Something to know if you don't know much about low latent inhibition: People with this condition fall into few categories, those that have low IQs and have severe mental disorders that lead to suicide, and those with high IQs which may or may not have mental disorders that may lead to suicide. Knowing that, I'm more fearful of putting a stop to my l.l..i desire to learn everything. Even with what I'm doing I can feel myself slip into comfortably numb place, uninterested in pursuing more knowledge beyond my 'field'. If you read that, props. I guess this is more of an out loud intrapersonal conversation, but I'd love for people to weigh in.
I know exactly what you mean man. When I was in school I smoked and was still able to do better then most. But I always felt if I didn't I could be even better. Which is something that really bothers me. When I left the country and took a break from smoking it really felt great but as soon as I got back to usual living I slowly started smoking again and could feel myself getting progressively worse ( what I mean by that is just the feeling of being duller) and I soon got into that comfortably numb state that you were talking about. I know that really didnt help but know that your not the only one.
Honestly, tl;dr, in a respectful way, just not in the reading mood, but I did read some, and I got the idea that you love to have knowledge of everything you encounter. And dude, I'm just like that. I hate studying and stuff just like everyone else, but when I hear about something, and I don't know about it, I'll google it and read up on it until I understand it. I don't know why it's addicting, I just like knowing stuff, you know? lol