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A thesis on the stages of stoning.

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by /FRIED-, Dec 30, 2009.

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  1. #1 /FRIED-, Dec 30, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2009
    This is my theory on the stages of stoning that I have observed over a few years research. I'd like to see how others feel about the stages i've noticed.

    I won't measure the stages in quantities of weed because everyone has different resistance levels and it's not fair to label a stage with a quantity of weed.

    Stage 1: Buzzed.

    Buzzed is the first stage of getting stoned when the stoner has smoked a little bit of weed, or just smoked it. They gain the ability to feel the energy in their body and often feel a vibrating sensation. It is almost instant and is very pleasurable, though it never lasts long.

    Stage 2: Baked.

    Baked is a very comfortable stage of stoning, it hits you about 20 minutes after you started smoking, as a result you feel a bit warmer like your baking inside, you find everything funny and you feel like talking a lot. If you haven't smoked alot of weed this will be the last stage you experience with cotton mouth and munchies feelings coming slightly later. This stage will rarely end your day as it should wear off before you fall asleep. If you smoke enough weed and don't move around enough you will move onto stoned.

    Stage 3: Stoned.

    Stoned covers alot of territory, it's the stage where you have smoked too much weed to be baked any longer but not too much past your limits to make you green, it is when you start to tire out and you just feel like eating, resting and drinking. Stoned is usually the stage where cotton mouth and munchies hit you the hardest and you will often find that you subconsciously lie down in this stage. Everything will be hilarious and you will feel a heightened amount of confidence, resulting in you talking a lot. Not everyone makes it to stoned if they either don't smoke enough weed or stay active enough to remain baked (If you remain baked the cotton mouth and munchies will hit you in the baked stage without the overwhelming tired feeling of being stoned) the stoned stage usually ends the night for most stoners as it will eventually drive them to sleep after all their needs have been met, however you may be unlucky enough to enter stage 4 before the end of your night.

    Stage 4: Greening.

    Greening occurs when the stoner has more weed than his weed threshold enables him to have without being overwhelmed (getting too stoned). It is renowned for being the worst weed has to offer. In the greening stage if the stoner doesn't stop the greening process he can find himself feeling great urges to lie down, find his skin literally turning green and even vomiting in some cases. The only ways to end the greening process is by falling asleep, vomiting or by lizarding back to stoned, the latter being step 5

    Stage 5 (3.5): “Lizarding”.

    Lizarding is the stage where a stoner transitions from step 4 back to step 3, making it sort of step 3.5, even though it comes last. Lizarding is the stage where a stoner smokes more weed than he can handle (usually when smoking an unexpectedly chronic batch) and starts greening but manages to push through the greening, back to being stoned. It's an extremely hard stage to go through and is named lizarding because in the stage the person will look tremendously like a lizard. Often their skin will go green from the greening stage but their eyes will be red from the stoned stage and they will be showing signs of both stages. If they manage to make it back to stoned they will be fine for the rest of the day/night, however the stoner may get stuck at greening in which case all they can do is hope that the weed wears off or they get to a comfy bed and fall asleep before they need to vomit.

    I hope you guy's liked my theory on the stages of stoning, I have been observing for quite a while now and I have seen many stoners go through many stages many times. If you have any thoughts or anything to add, please don’t hesitate to say something.

    thanks for reading, peace. :smoke:
    McGee

    edit: some room for error must be left due to myself being stoned everytime i have made these observations.
     
  2. #2 MyPipeIdoLike, Dec 30, 2009
    what the hell are you talking about? i dont care how much of what weed you smoke your skin will NOT turn green. and if it does then what you just smoked isn't marijuana.

    I've never heard of the term greening or lizarding. and ive been as high as i can get a lot, and i dont think i looked like a lizard?
     
  3. #3 imcherokeeangel, Dec 30, 2009
    I think you've been watching too much Cheech and Chong...lol
     
  4. #4 wbwhiteboy, Dec 30, 2009
    i don't really got "BLASTED" anymore

    i actually quit for 2weeks then smoked too. and all its been is 1g of regs. and rest only good.

    and i only get "stoned" for like 40-50 minutes.

    i wish i had my mini bong :( (only got blunts and a crapy pipe that i dont use so only blunts)

    and i think we were both /FRIED\ when posting
     
  5. #5 DaRafsta, Dec 30, 2009
    My stages.

    Buzzed: Feeling the first few head changes, pretty excited to be here, optimistic about having fun today.

    Baked: Having a hilarious time with the buds, just skipping round in a field or park with makeshift instruments and singing songs from the Princess and the Frog. My perceptions are 10x greater. I can feel my body very intensely.

    Super-Stoned: Feel fucking incredible. Every sense in my body is 10x stronger, and my physical ability is amplified as well. Not many people I know get this stage. I believe it's the mix of adrenaline and high that gets you here.

    Makes sense as it's coincidentally always occured when I find myself in a spot with the cops, or get really inspired, angry or emotional about something around me. Like when I tore a tree at the park halfway out of the ground and wrestled my friends away when they tried to stop me all because I saw some roadkill.

    Stoned: Just wanna relax here with my friends and play some Mario Kart or Left 4 Dead. We're less intelligent and comprehensible than in the Baked stage, and have a hard time focusing on any one thing or being aware of our surroundings. Should be in a safe place by now, or start making our way to one immediately.

    Fucked: Holy shit, I'm suddenly on a fucking chicken farm, except the chickens have human arms... why oh why do those chickens have human arms? This is the stage where you get in 'stuck mode' and your mind takes over and takes you into a sinister new dimension where it's VERY easy to scare yourself and send yourself spiraling downwards into a very VERY bad place.
     
  6. #6 imcherokeeangel, Dec 30, 2009

    At least the chickens have heads? lol

    Me and a friend were smoking in the woods behind her house one day and when we went back up to her house, a headless chicken came barrelling around the corner and chased us into the house. We slammed that door quick! Seriously! We didn't realize her father was out there beheading them. They run around for a bit after having their heads chopped off, I guess. I never knew that....and it freaked me the hell out because I was stoned out of my mind :smoke:
     
  7. #7 KannaMan, Dec 30, 2009
    I came into this thread thinking you were talking about punishment for adulterers in the Muslim world.

    But green skin? Wtf.
     
  8. #8 DaRafsta, Dec 30, 2009
    Lol you guys were defnitely in the FUCKED stage, it's really easy to scare a stoner when he's high... >< It should be illegal. The other day I was at the crosswalk just pressed the button and waiting for the light to change... I'm focusing on the light, waiting to program my first step so it'll be perfectly in sync with the MOMENT the light changes...

    UUUUAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!

    Some woman in the car driving past insanely fast pops her head out the window and screams UUUUAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!! at me while waving her arms, she came fucking close and my heart was beating like a rabbit's. Shit. Fuckers knew I was stoned and they thought it'd be hilarious.
     
  9. #9 M369, Dec 30, 2009
    In memory of OSG.

    The chickens with human arms....:laughing:



    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df_O-EBjVrk]YouTube - High as Fuck[/ame]
     
  10. #10 DaRafsta, Dec 30, 2009
    God Bless
     
  11. #11 imcherokeeangel, Dec 30, 2009

    lol

    I miss him :(
     
  12. #12 BigDaddyD, Dec 30, 2009

    That's nothing. Try being baked out of your skull from 2 blunts and an endless supply of bong rips and drive around and find a chicken standing in the middle of the woods where there are NO farms within atleast 15 miles. We stared at it and talked to it...it eventually turned and walked away

    That doesn't beat the time I was playing Chicago with 4 friends in a garage filled to the brim and finding a condom from her younger sister from 3 years ago and hearing something move around in the dark corner and having a family of raccoons that have been living in the garage for god knows how long chase you out and you end up having a sprained wrist thanks to getting knocked over and having a lawn mower handle crush it by a little midget kid. :hippie:
     
  13. #13 imcherokeeangel, Dec 30, 2009

    lol...you sure that wasn't a wild turkey? We got them all over here. What's weird is at night, they fly up to the tree tops and sleep there.

    And, lmao at the coons....I have a pet coon...have had several over the years
     
  14. #14 Agovita, Dec 30, 2009
    That song made me lol.

    "You went to the store but you're so high you don't know why you're there any more."

    I went to safeway yesterday at 11 pm, noone else was in the store. I walked around for 20 minutes and found like, two things to eat, some hot pockets and soup. The cashier asked "Find everyone okay?"
    "Nope, I'm too baked."

    She was like, 22 and thought it was hilarious.
     
  15. #15 krnickitten, Dec 30, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2009
    lmfaoo honestly i remember this one time i was at wendys trying to order some frys and i only had a toonie and i ordered a large (which was worth more than i had) and the women at the register was just staring at me and she was like are you sure you dont want a medium? and i swear i thought it was the stupidest thing i've ever heard someone say , like no i dont want a medium i want a large. so after arguing about what would be the better choice with my friend who was right beside me i just ended up going with a small. then i munched.

    x:smoke:



    oh and reallly? i dont really feel any of those stages except for buzzed , which hits me a while after because im constantly debating with myself if im high or not , then when it does everything just seems like its not happening and nothings real , its almost as if im living in a moment then as soon as i do what i was doing (like for example taking a step) it fades away and its not important anymore , im always terrified when im high , im not sure if everything will ever go back to normal again or if it will ever stop. is that normal or not? i never get the muchies either , and my heart is pounding im not relaxed and i always feel scared.
     
  16. #16 Cali Smokes, Dec 30, 2009
    I could of sworn when I smoked I got stoned first ? And I never want to talk when Im high. Unless I really have to or its an interestig convo going on.
     
  17. #17 morefreedom, Dec 30, 2009
    I read that high as fuck and omg I thought I would be turning into a lizard until the first post said otherwise. Thank god :smoke:
     
  18. #18 morefreedom, Dec 30, 2009
    The fucked stage is the worst place. Make sure you limit your smoke.
     
  19. #19 LCM, Dec 30, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2009
    OP, my thesis on the stages of your stoning: turn off Nice Dreams and grab a coffee.
     
  20. #20 imcherokeeangel, Dec 31, 2009

    If you feel like this when you get high, why do you get high? lol

    I used to get like that sometimes, too. Next time it happens, tell yourself it's all in your head,,,turn on some music and listen to the words...tv will work, too...concentrate on what you're hearing and you will forget about all those symptoms...it's just anxiety, which is normal for a lot of people. You just gotta learn how to work through it. Mind over matter...keep tellin yourself it ain't happenin, occupy your mind on something else, and it will go away :wave:
     
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