One day, I was sitting on my computer high when I realized, I had to take a shit bad. I went to the toilet and sat down and read a magazine while I took that shit. It must've been a minute before the full thing came out. It was amazing, and the stench was absolutely horrid. As I looked at it in the toilet, I realized it was chunky, big and a nice brown color. No splits, just one great log lying in the water. I flushed it down, satisfied. Or so I thought. As the toilet was flushing and I was walking out of the room, I sensed something was wrong. I looked back only to see the shit fighting the swirling currents of the water, trying to break free and escape the bowl! I hurriedly slammed the lid and grabbed a dumbell from my room and placed it atop. I taped the edges. It was then that I forgot to wash my hands. So I soaped em' up and began to wash. I was done and turning off the water when the shit crawled out the faucet! I ran out the room, terrified of the evil shit! I slammed the door and barricaded it. I plugged up all the plumbing in my house. I decided I needed a walk to clear my mind. On the walk I saw a water fountain, but remembered the shit and turned away. I was walking home as I passed by a storm drain. But something was not right about it. There was something moving at the bottom. I looked in. The shit jumped right out and ran after me, who had already took off. The chase lasted for a bit, and nobody would help me, they only screamed at the running shit. I ran to the train station, hopped the turnstyle and got on. The doors closed, leaving the shit behind. I sat down, relieved. However, at the next stop the shit was waiting there for me! He got right on the train, and I got right off. He was left on the train. By now I was freaking out, I mean that shit had found ways to get to me no matter what I did. I decided it was time to return home. As I walked to my room and decided to smoke a bowl, I saw my stash... and was mortified. Everything, all of it. Covered in shit. To be continued.
I thought it was kinda funny. I really can't believe that people here actually need to point out though that the story's fake. Really? I mean, thank you and all, way to reveal the facade. Can't trust anything you read these days.
Damn dude that story was bananas. Had me Lol'ing hard its terrible that in order to spell "bananas" right I had to sing that horrid hollaback girl song in my mind