ate a lot of firecrackers and this is what I ended up scribbling down: Crippled Susie with locks of auburn and Tommy boy with freckles so cute Let'em howl, let'em rain, Then let'em feel like babies again If bastard gate with mouth so high, catch the words “Let the poor man rise. Let the poor man become.†Then Jesus had better fly away to Paradise If Momma's hallelujahs can't make the pain go away Then let the pills and the needles fall where they may Let the head in pillow dive down and down again Let the pain become warmth, amen
Dude. We got some fuckin' badass poets here in the City. That shit was intense, your wordplay is amazing and the last stanza, man, that really hit me. Just the sounds and structure of it is beautiful. I wish I could write like this.
Good shit bro.. If that was only fire crackers.. Take some lucy or boomers an write something down.. I would love to hear that!
Yeah i like this alot man. Nice stuff. Your imagery is obscure but obvious - a skill that to me shows true poetry.
thanks for the comments everybody, they mean a lot! I didn't think anyone would actually respond to this, tbh
it is pretty obscure; maybe if i gave you a title "fetal escape" now just throw in some ganja and it'll make beeeautiful sense