I wrote this during Christmas holidays while lying in my bed, high as fuck. It was on the spot and took me like 4 minutes. The Making and Taking of Masculinity Cold-steel cocks, compensating compromise. The warm weight in your sweaty palms. Rollin' back the safety. Configured for the trigger-horny - Horny, not happy – lust, but not love. Power, but not control. Stand to attention. ...a throbbing hand-grenade lobbed down a hallway, cooked to a crisp. Not rare. Medium? But well done. Phatic pleasantries for the helmet wearing Goons who've got nothing better to do Than to grin and bare arms; who sing to swoon. The six-inch shooter is spent; Ejected too soon, albeit fashionably late. All the money and drugs in the world Couldn't win her back.
Thanks to both of ye. I like having a system called C4C where if you critique what I write, I critique what you write. It's actually pretty cool. I learned it by posting a lot of stuff on Ultimate Guitar in their songwriting subforum.
bowls make my night day bowls to get high smoke bowls on the low watch out for cops, when taking bowls on the go i prefer a glass bowl, not metal thats whack thats the kinda bowl jamaican mon say is used only for crack i'll pass a bowl to my left or a bowl to my right hell i find it hard to sleep without my bowl every night i'll smoke a bowl when i come smoke a bowl in the fog smoke a bowl when i go oh shit, my bowls clogged gotta find me a knife, a safety-pin, a paper clip to clean out my [bowl]hole, and take another rip a new days gleaming, my bowl always on point.... but hey, maybe today give her a rest perhaps i'll smoke a joint..... -darek conaway original inspired by Grasscity a little ha ha poem i wrote on another thread asking, "What do bowls do for you?"
seriously dude..^ you shouldve started your own thread. honest critique of that... it's an abomination. especially when posted in this thread, readily comparable to the poem WHL wrote.. that's why you should've started your own thread. and i'm not even trying to be a dick. i'm just being completely honest. that was a scar on this thread. lol
OP's poem is really, really well written. Just the sort of poem I like to read - the images are clear but not obnoxious, the words are strung together effortlessly and fit in with each other perfectly, and it has an awesome depth to is subtly done enough to give it an edge of intrigue. Fuckin' props man