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A poem I wrote about toking

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by raydavies, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. #1 raydavies, Mar 8, 2012
    Grinding the buds as they bloom and flower,
    Peace will be burning within the hour.
    Spark of the flint is the hottest flame,
    Man will regress from beast to tame.
    Draw of the pull is as light as air,
    Hit of the draw is a grizzly bear.


    Bubbles are growling like a tiger,
    The room is in a cloudy fog.
    Thoughts are racing without a track,
    Arms are as heavy as leaden rocks.


    Flying as steep as the birds and the bees,
    Feeling as green as the tallest trees.
    Sounds as full as a wealthy pocket,
    Stomach as empty as a socket.
    My friend is a genius sloth,
    He can flutter like a moth.


    I see the sun,
    And the sun is bright.
     
  2. #2 Dest1, Mar 8, 2012
    -proceeds to snap fingers-
     
  3. #3 2e3t4y5u, Mar 8, 2012

    +Rep bro
     
  4. #4 LongBottomLeaf, Mar 8, 2012
    It must be the poetry section in your HS/College English course, eh??

    LOL I dig it man.
     
  5. #5 naz10, Mar 8, 2012
    snap snap snap snap snap
     
  6. #6 raydavies, Mar 8, 2012
    Haha no, actually I'm an English major, but I'm not taking any poetry classes. I was bored in class today, so I wrote this in about 20 minutes or so.
     
  7. #7 PoppyPal, Mar 8, 2012
    [quote name='"raydavies"']Grinding the buds as they bloom and flower,
    Peace will be burning within the hour.
    Spark of the flint is the hottest flame,
    Man will regress from beast to tame.
    Draw of the pull is as light as air,
    Hit of the draw is a dizzying flare.

    Bubbles are growling like a tiger,
    The room is in a cloudy fog.
    Thoughts are racing without a track,
    Arms are as heavy as a potato sack.

    Flying as steep as the birds and the bees,
    Feeling as green as the tallest trees.
    Sounds as full as a wealthy pocket,
    Stomach as empty as a socket.
    My friend is a genius sloth,
    He can flutter like a moth.

    I see the sun,
    And the sun is bright,
    Now kick it with me
    And we'll smoke until night
    [/quote]

    Just edited some of it, constructive criticism! Lol good work tho
     
  8. #8 LongBottomLeaf, Mar 8, 2012

    You just changed his poem.... that's not exactly constructive criticism.

    And I'm just throwing it out there, but I'm pretty sure the middle portion didn't rhyme because OP didn't want it to rhyme.

    Not trying to be bitchy, but if you change the words of someone's poem, it is no longer the same poem.
     
  9. #9 Larry420, Mar 8, 2012

    You nailed it.
     
  10. #10 PoppyPal, Mar 8, 2012
    [quote name='"LongBottomLeaf"']

    You just changed his poem.... that's not exactly constructive criticism.

    And I'm just throwing it out there, but I'm pretty sure the middle portion didn't rhyme because OP didn't want it to rhyme.

    Not trying to be bitchy, but if you change the words of someone's poem, it is no longer the same poem.[/quote]

    Ok in that case, everyone like my new poem...? Lol just was high and thought it flowed better and added a couple sick lines no big deal
     

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