a little something i read

Discussion in 'General' started by tokin', Sep 25, 2009.

  1. Found this on another forum and it gave me a good laugh so i think i'll share it with you all:

    I never quite
    figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never
    have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why
    men think with their head and women with their heart.


    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
    to hear..

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
    enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to
    my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I
    do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen
    that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day
    off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went
    shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
    she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide
    which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
    of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have
    thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing
    me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
    play tennis

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine,
    honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement..
    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is
    Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when
    I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went
    completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said,
    'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch
    with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as
    a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
    I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.....but at least that
    bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

  2. Duly noted for future use.

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