A guy gets home late one night and his wife say's, "where the hell have you been?" I was out getting a tattoo, he says to his wife. "A tattoo she snarls? What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis." "What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?" "Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow. "Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money. "Lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay home an blow a hundred bucks."