A Guide To Toking Inconspicuously At Home

The following is a product of Lemon Kush and a lazy Saturday night.
Me and My friend both live with our parents, we've never been caught so we decided to make our own list of the steps of safely and effectively toking at home while parents are present.

1. Obviously, get the weed from a dealer who can keep his mouth shut and in no way knows your parents

2. Think about it; Do you really need to smoke up? If you really want to, let nobody's advice stop you, but remember, opportunities come often. This won't be your last chance to get high.

3. What are your parents like?; No matter if your parents are cool with you smoking weed or not, all parents are in some way Anti-Weed. No parent wants to see their child spending money on, or doing weed.

4. How will you smoke it; Have a real smoking device (Preferably A Bong). Don't make up a unit on the spot while your parents are home. This only leads to suspicion if they see you gathering materials (Bottle, Glue, Tape, ect...) Pipes, Joints, and Blunts are great for outdoor or indoor sessions where nobody cares about smell, but inside a house this isn't a factor.

5. Gather what you need; Don't be stupid about it, make sure you'll have everything you need. Eg... Don't leave your 360 controller in your living room in front of your parents if you plan on playing halo later on. Buy a bag of chips or at least pour a bowl before you toke up. Bring a water bottle or glass too. Have all your munchies and beverages in front of you.

6. Confrontation; If your nervous about having to talk to your parents later on, have gum and Visene readily available. Use the Visene as soon as your done smoking, but don't chew the gum too early or else it looses smell. Mint gum covers smell the best. Keep your cool, if you've never been caught or even if you have been caught before, your parents wont be thinking your high.

7. Final Check; Before you get down to business, check your room and clean up a bit. Make sure tables are clear and things wont get lost only to be found later (Leftover Weed Bits, Snips, Lighters). I like to do a full clean up before toking so if my parents talk to me when I'm burnt out if they asked I could say I was tired from cleaning.

8. Toke Up; Lock your door (If you don't have one, don't even consider toking unless your 100% sure your parents will knock first or are sleeping) Be ready with a reason for why your door was locked. Personally, I change into different clothes and tell my parents I was getting undressed if they do knock when its locked.

9. Be Wise About The Smell; Make sure your room has a window, Use a bong and pack small bowls you know you can pull through all the way. Put your face up the the screen of the window, make sure nobody's looking and blow the smoke out hard forcing it outside allowing none to come back in. Ghosting bowls doesn't eliminate weed smell, just smokey smell. In reality, you'll get higher from this method of holding while you walk over to the window after smaller bowls will get you higher anyways.

10. Clean Up; Everything goes away completely, dump the bong water out the window if possible. Don't just cover the full bong with a blanket. All weed bits need to be disposed of, so keep your session on a flat space while toking. Put everything in your stash spot(s) spray a little body spray on the walls near your door (Seriously) The rest of your room isn't coated but your parents get the smell not too strong. Visene your eyes good and proceed to step 11

11. Enjoy; If you have the right kind of parents they shouldn't come in any time soon, and if everything was executed correctly you should be able to withstand any "Room Check/Sniff" or "Eye Check" they can throw at you. Don't be paranoid, I wrote this to make you feel more comfortable with the situation. Now chill, rock some Halo, Turn on some music, Browse GC, and most importantly EMBRACE YOUR HIGH. You just got high, it'll be like that for a little bit so enjoy it. Now get gone and eat your pre-prepared munchies

I hoped this helped anybody in my situation, Now go and rip a bong for me