A Guide to Avoid Being Caught

I like the time and effort you put into this!, looks great appreciate it, and i'm sure all the newbie's do too!

 

Okay this is all mad accurate and if you follow it verbatim you won't get caught. But honestly its such a pain in the ass to have to go through all of those restrictions. Plus it makes smoking less enjoyable. Here's what you really do. Take your stash everywhere you go (ie lighter, eyedrops, spray, gum, weed, grinder, smoking device) and put all of that in a Halls Cough Drop bag. The bags are air tight, thus no odor and waterproof. also it isn't see through so you could pull it off as if you are carrying cough drops. Put that shit in your gooch (area between ass and balls). Then you can smoke anywhere you go, just find a secretive spot and you don't have to worry about nothing

 

I wrote this and feel free to use it if you want.

Xero420 guide to getting arrested

0. disclaimer
1. Intro
2. Backstory
3. Quickly get information
4. First time arrest Ever (good boys and girls prior to this)
5. First time marijuana arrest ever (had prior arrest for anything)
6. 2nd time marijuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)
7. 3rd time marijuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)
8. 4th time marijuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)
9. Shady things cops will/do do (hehe do-do)
10. Friends calling me from jail right now!
11. How do I get my friend out of jail
12. How do I get my friend out of jail like right now!
11. Check list of things to do after being released

0. Disclaimer - I am not legal council and should not be considered legal council.
You really need to talk to a lawyer in your state to figure out what you are facing.

1. Intro
Hi one day you might know me. I hope you don't have to go through my struggles but I hope you can learn from them. This is a guide on what to do once you get arrested for a marijuana related offense. I said marijuana related. If you have a theft or battery and a marijuana charge none of this advice will help you at all so you might as well move on.

2. Backstory
Need time to tell an appropriate backstory. Short story 3 marijuana arrests under my belt first 2 in iowa and third another state.

3. Quickly get information
Ok So I suggest you scroll back up to the top and look at all of the section names really closely. Find the one that will help you the most and read all of the information under that number. I will try and help you with the knowledge I have but will need help from the community to expand on experiences I was not able to have. Ie 4th marijuana arrests or section 5.


4. First time arrest EVER (good boys and girls prior to this)
You need to know 2 things:

1)defferred judgments
2)suspended sentences
Learn what both of these mean and figure out if you can get either one of these.
Defferred judgment means the court will set forth steps for you to complete for a set time. If you do everything the court likes then the CONVICTION will be expunged from your record. Now thats great right whats the hook? Well the hook is the ARREST will be on your record. So people might be able to tell that at one point you were arrested for something but they can't tell what the outcome of the case was. You can tell anyone and everyone anything or nothing about it if you want.

Suspended sentences something similar to defferred judgements but not quite as good. You have a lawyer right ask him/her about these options. Even a public defender should be able to answer questions about this.

Now we are taking this very serious at this point and are looking for as little of impact as we could hope for. So serious things take serious steps. I called in a personal favor for my first arrest from a family who knows the law kinda good. So my first experience was with a lawyer who was very seasonned. My 2nd lawyer didn't do things as effieciently as my first.

[ ] waive right to a speedy trial. You need time to pull off amazing things
[ ] find rehab facility that will give you recomendation against Rehab
[ ] find rehab facility that will give you recomendation for Rehab
[ ] Get both recomendations in writing
[ ] attend rehab
[ ] complete rehab
[ ] Goto court present case didn't really need rehab went anyway turning life around


5. First time marijuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)
Sorry cats no real life experience can't speak to the potential outcomes of this but it is hopefully a case by case basis.

6. 2nd time marijuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)
Ok hopefully you have kept your noise clean since the last johnny law encounter. They are back in your life and you need to know that you could pull off a 2nd defferred judgment. Now if you got 1 defferred judgment do exactly what you did the first time. New fun activities that you may or may not get to enjoy are

supervised probation:

random drug screens and scheduled drug screens at monthly PO visits:

community service: Get creative and do something that you can at least stand. I rang bells for salvation army.

Now I am not legal council but I have been told there is a limit to the number of deffered judgments you can get in a lifetime or per state or something. So keep that in mind and try and learn some new tricks for next time.

7. 3rd time marjuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)
Ok remember the drill from the 2 deffered judgements? Do exactly the same thing a third time and see if you can trick these cats again. This time you should try for a suspended sentence. Hopefully you have learned from your first 2 experiences and the case is weak.

8. 4th time marijuana arrest (prior arrests assumed)

9. Shady things cops will/do do (hehe do-do)
Cops are the shadiest people ever. Watch 48 hours or some interogator show they are constantly lying through their teeth to try and get info out of you. You need to keep this in mind there is a reason we are allowed a lawyer before questioning. It's b.c the questioning is like 99% bullshit.

Turning cameras/microphones off at key times so the offical record seems unprompted. Personally happened to me. Was asked "Do you have any more drugs on you because you should tell me now. If they find anything on you at jail the penalys will be more"..to which I responded "I have a hit of acid in my shoe" was turned into an offical recording record of only "I have a hit of acid in my shoe".

Reading your rights to you then instantly trying to get you to give up your rights. Most times that I remember they slide you a piece of paper and ask you for your description of the events. Keep this NON SPECIFIC as fuck. Things like now we are in the police station and I am scared are good things to write. You can write what ever the hell you want on that piece of paper. Don't turn that piece of paper into your death sentence turn it into your life sentence by giving them nothing.

Undercover informant hopefully you went to rehab just to put on a good show that you are changing you life around. Ask your rehab staff if becoming an undercover is a good idea. My university rehab program which is at a pretty good hospital told me absolutely not. The cops will play with you like a toy and you are putting yourself in danger. Not to mention you are going to lose every smoker friend you ever had ever if you go down this route. This is probably the best advice in the thread because it came from someone who literally deals with 100's of college students in situations like this every year.

10. My friend is calling me from JAIL right now!
Well except the collect call charges and let them rant for a little bit. Have you been in jail? if so tell them somethings they should know. If you haven't ensure them that they won't be butt raped or beat up. These kind of crazy crap happens at Prisons not jails. Jails are like the minium security of minium security. Your friend needs a clear headed friend to talk them down from any rants they are on.


11. How do I get my friend out of jail
Released on your own recognizance

If you weren't born with a large sliver spoon this should be your play. Your friend needs to keep a cool head treat everyone with respect and spend a day or 2 in the slammer. Sucks I know but hey hopefully you shouldn't be doing it too often. After they meet with a Judge then a judge can decide what happens to you. He/She may decide you haven't caused problems and be released BY PAYING NO MONEY. The judge will say "Released on your own recognizance". To which you will react with happiness too.


12. How do I get my friend out of jail like right now!
You bail him/her out. Do you know what bail means?

Bail is an ammount of money YOU (the friend who has a friend in jail) needs to find like yesterday to get your buddy out as fast as he wants. You need the full ammount and you are responsible to make sure your friend makes his/her court dates. This needs to happen before you get ALL of your money back.

Bailbonds men/service allow YOU (the friend who has a friend in jail) to pay 10% of the total bond. The bailbonds men/service is responsible to make sure your friend makes his/her court dates. This need to happen. YOU get NONE of your money back.

Figure out which option make sense for you or go read section 10.

13. Check list of things to do after being released
[ ] Contacted close friends to tell them what happened
[ ] Contacted lawyers
[ ] Cleaned the house
[ ] find rehab facility that will give you recomendation against Rehab
[ ] find rehab facility that will give you recomendation for Rehab
[ ] enrolled in rehab program
[ ] Retainer for lawyer paid
[ ] Completed rehab program

 

Only thing i dont agree on is weed in the ziplock. I always get mad as fuck wen my crystals are stuck to the bag

 

Thx op

 

I post pictures about weed a lot of times on Instagram, its not because im showing off, I just like posting pics 
 
I keep my profile on private soo feds and parents won't see what I post.

 

For concealing the smell on you: hand sanitzer (lots of smell from handling smoky devices), maybe hand lotion, definitely body spray and eye drops to top it all off. In my portable kit I have a small container of altoids as well. If you don't look or smell high, but still act high, you can pull it off.

 

Yea and also if the cops pull you over and if they don't detain you ask them if you can go free if they say yes get out of there as quick as you can. And also police try to act like you friends there not, don't trust them they work for the government and mostly everybody who works for the government lies.​

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And if you smoke weed don't drive flashy cars that means no chrome no wheels no loud exhaust get tint (not very dark). Keep your car clean in and outside Keep air fresher's in you car (AT ALLLLL TIME) if the weed is strong like 4 will overpower the smell. Keep the information updated on the car, (license plate, license, insurance) . Even if its cheap unreliable insurance keep it just another reason to drive safe on the road.​

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Take a day off and go through you car find little crannies and nooks, cut a hole in the foam of you seat and stuff your weed in there.​

Never handle drugs in a parking lot a cop sees people sitting in a car in a parking lot they think  1 of 2 things dealing drugs or doing drugs.​

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If you have weed on you DONT START THE CAR before you hide the weed, before you leave the parking lot, house, business, store anything. Because as soon as you leave they will pull you over. And give some bullshit excuse like there was a stop sign back there. If your in the store buy a bottle of mustard put the weed in there buy some buns too make it look like your eating hot dogs for dinner.​

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Keep hand sanitizer in you car, wipe down the car with sanitizer it will throw off the dog with the air fresheners and with the sanitizer.​

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Keep a open eye for cops look around do a 360 of where ever your at, its better to be cautious then in jail protecting your asshole from rapist for a year. If you see a cop looking at you in your car doing a deal don't buy, if you don't have warrant's send the dealer back to his car, take off in your car speed out the parking lot catch a ticket for the dealer he would appreciate that you did that and he will probably give you some extra weed for doing that for him.​

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And if you get pulled over by a cop, calm yourself down slow your heart beat don't make any hand movements talk with a sturdy voice and he looks at you and ask you do you have any paraphernalia in your car look them straight in the eye and tell them no (NO SIR, NO MAM) . Keep your voice sturdy. Ask them will your sitting there remember am I detained am I detained. If they cuff you your detained.​

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Be nice, if they curse you out don't get angry say sir mam please could you not speak to me like that.​

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AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING KEEP UP YOUR PERSONAL APPERANCE DONT WONDER AROUND AND LOOK LIKE A STONER, WEAR LIGHT COLOR POLO SHIRTS AND CARGO SHORTS NIKE RUNNING SHOES WEAR MLB BASEBALL CAPS NO BEANIES THAT ARE (RASTA COLORS), SPORTS BEANIES WORK. GET HAIR CUTS (NO DREAD LOCKS, NO HAIR COVERING YOUR EYES, NO LONG STONER HAIR, NO PONY TAILS ) TAPER FADES, AFRO, MARK WALBERG TYPE HAIR CUT.​

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If you get tats no ghetto tattoos get Jesus cross or little monsters a hot rod. No pistols, marijuana leaves, gang symbols, the name of your hood.​

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Be safe FUCK THE POLICE​

 

Eye drops, air freshener, sploof.

 

I might of missed it but what happened too investing in a good sploof?
 
I can blow out huge rips and you can barely smell anything, I only use them so my whole house doesn't reek of weed but yeah, good ones work really good.

 

I walk through the door reeking of weed and red eyes. I don't give a fuck.
Fuck ziplock baggies.
Good advice you got there for smoking on the road.
I dont text or have a camera phone. I talk about weed all the time on my phone.
I am constantly posting pics of weed online. FUCK FACEBOOK!
Good advice about the police.