this right here is so damn funny i just finished blowing about 5 sweets i was zombied so we go to local station its after midnight so we have to use th order window so this old lady opens it up then im like let me have a 20 oz root bear and a bag of bbbbb bbqq seeds the David KIND!!!! the woman laffs and she was checking me out and i have to say she was sharon stone old hotness im eating the seeds and putting the shells in my hands after 10 mins im like let me in so i can wash my winky in your kitchen sinky i meant to say hands n your sink my bro and freind burst out laffin then i ask her let me get 3 dollars worth of debbie cakes right when i get to pay her i had a condom in my pocket and it was under a 1 dollar bill she picks it up and smiles im like sooo fucking rekkkkkked im like thats cause i like to fuck she gasps and gives my change and some horny goat weed
hmm, Back a while ago I was listening to Dark side of the Moon on my cd player and my mom asked me a question so I turned it off. When she was done, I turned it back on and sat there for about 10 minutes trying to figure out what language it was in, but then I realized that I hadn't actually turned the damn thing on, and I was listening to nothing. genius
oh my god this is the best thread ever i was sittin here high as hell and surfin gc and i found this lmao duffey bout the black lady story and the blunts i swear i just laughed the whole time i read this but i got a few stoner moments ok yesterday i blazed up and i was cottonmouthed as fuck i mean i couldnt open my mouth and my mother in law walked in my room and she was tryin to carry on a conversation and i wasnt tryin to be rude and interrupt her but i couldnt stop thinkin about gettin something to drink then all the sudden i head are you listening to me? then i realise i hadent heard a word she said and then when i realised that i started laughin so loud and i couldnt stop then she said oh my god missy your stoned aint you oh my god you are which had me laughin even more i went to the gas station yesterday 2 get a money order (im addicted to ebay) and i was at the gas station and i grabed a pop and some snackes i had the munchies and i payed for everything and left i got home and i went to fill out the money order and put it in the mail and i realise he didnt give me the money order so i go back to the gas station and i go up to him and tell him i didnt get my money order and he was like i know i kept trying to get your attention to tell you and you didnt see me i guess lmao that was crazy ok me and my boyfriend we drivein around at night time and we had smoked a blunt and i was real blowed and i rolled a joint and i procediced to light that and smoke it he didnt want anymore so its dark out and he has one of those butane lighters that when you light it it flashes red and blue well i got about 2 hits off that joint and he lights a cigg. i see the red and blue flashing lights and was like oh shit and i swolled the rest of that joint really quick it was so fuckin nasty my mouth gots ashes in it uggg but anyways then he was like why the fuck did you just eat the rest of the weed and i realised what happend and tryed like hell 2 explain to him why i ate the weed but i couldnt cuz i couldnt stop laughin ok thats all i can think of right now but im gonna kept comein back we gotta keep this thread alive its fuckin funny as hell to read all this come on share your stupid stoner moments
Ok so one day I was skipping school blazing at my friends house, and I went out cause another friend told me to meet him somwhere.. .anyway he wasnt there, (by the way I was really baked at this point) so I turn around and start going back to my buddies house to continue with the session. I got near his house and I see a black SUV infront of his house and this guy in a suit with a camera taking pictures of his house and another guy walking out of his backyard. So at this point i fucking jumped in a bush and I was like "oh god the FBI is finally on to us." So after a couple pictures the guys get in and drive off. So I'm like "I have to warn him." so I very stealthly cross the street hiding behind objects along the way, and run up to his front door. I knock and he opens and I'm freaking out going "Dude get rid of all your shit right now, the FBI is after you and I'm running around his house trying to find everything they could bust us with. Then I look back and hes laughing his ass off. I'm like "what man you fucking gotta hurry this isnt funny" and then he goes "That was my fuckin landlord showing the real estate agent the outside of the house" or soemthing like that. "You have to chill the fuck out dude common lets go downstairs." and I'm standing there trying to put it all together in my head, and then I just laugh and follow him to the basement to blaze more.
I work at a pizza place and me and two other friends hotboxed the cooler and just kept on packing bowls and smoking. then we all come up front because there was customers. The person at the register finished the order and right after he gone done giving the person the change, he asks them if they want there change. Me and my other friend start laughing. Then i left and the two other people i smoked with closed the store down. The next day i talk tp by friend Brent. He brought the bowl that we smoked it out of. He said he forgot his bowl in the cooler anfter he closed the store. So after he noticed he drove back to the store to see if the front door was still left open. When they closed they were supposed to lock the front door and set the alarm. He walked in and they forgot to lock the front door but then the alarm goes off so he quickly runs in and gets it and waited until the police came and told them that he forgot his wallet in the cooler.
...and so fattening, damn u ppl need to eat not mcdonalds, worst food for u ever...ever!, sry bout the ranting, but fuck, its so bad for u...id rather have u eat candy, or sandwhiches, compared to burgers and fries. (i just watched "super size me", so im all paranoid now)
lol dude, thats happend to me as well, i was blazed out of my mind with some friends, and we were walking to my friends house and we saw a white cop like car outside (it had something like a light on the letf side near the door), so we ran as fast as we cud in the other direction...we saw the car leave and his sister was inside...it was a cab, we almost shat our pants, i was laughin so loud...damn stoner stories are sweet.
haha I just remembered a good one. Ok so I'm blazing at my friends house on a friday night, and she has this gravity bong that KILLS you. Like I've never been higher than when I get high at her house. Anyway, we were extremly high and we had to go walk her dog, so we went to the park and smoked a bowl. We came back and I realised I couldnt find my "hippie pouch" (my friends call it that) its just thins wallet/pouch kind of thing. Anyway, I couldn't find it anywhere and I'm like "shit i must have lost it at the park. I had $5 in there and a joint." so I hop on my bike in search of this park. I didn't really know how to get to that park in the first place, I mean I went there a couple times with her but I never payed attention to where we were walking, I never remember how I got anywhere unless I pay special attention to it. So anyway its like night time and really foggy, and I'm riding around on my bike trying to find the park. After about 20 minutes of trying to find it, (it took us like 5 minutes to get to it) I go back to her place. I walk in and I see her mom is watching tv. So I'm like "can you give me directions to the park? I think I lost something there" and she was like "Its at the bottom of this street to the right" and anyway I go back out and find it. I search where we were hanging out and its nowhere tobe find. I'm biking back to her place just going "oh well, it was only $5 and a bit of weed; and I'll just buy a new pouch." And by this point I'm kind of comming down from my high because a lot of time passed through all of this. So I arrive at her house and shes on the phone. I sit on the couch and look at the floor, and behold, sitting RIGHT BESIDE the gravity bong was my pouch in clear sight. I had a good laugh out of that. P.S. I think you remember things that happened when you were stoned better if your stoned when you think about it.
lol, man one time i was at my buddys house just blazin bowl after bowl on his ZONG bong, we were all fucked up just chillin, then mad people start to show up, so im just chillin, on the couch ripped as FUCK, and people are all around, pipes are goin around the livin room and shit. A pipe comes my way and im just about to hit it when my buddy pulls out a mag lite to shine it at the dogs, i wasnt payin attention and i didnt see it was him with the maglite, well he turns it on and shines it all over the fuckin place, and i FREAKED out thinkin it was the 5-0 and shoved the pipe between the couch cusions, at that point like all my buddys look at me like WTF you doin, lol, for my stonerness i had to load another bowl in the ZONG, lol, o well, if you got tha weed SMOKE IT, no point in saving it when its all goin to the same place right?