Yesterday I went into a KFC and asked for chicken Mcnuggets. They told me they did have them. I said "What? What kind of McDonalds doesn't have chicken McNuggets?" She replied with "The kind that isn't a McDonalds, this is kfc" I started laughing, apologized and left. My eyes were beat red and I probably stank of weed because I just hotboxed my car.
^ hah, blocko, you shoulda saved your ass and said.. "uh, oh, i meant to say popcorn chicken..".. lol..
Once i went to a gas station and was blazed. I asked the guy if they sold "lighters" when everyone knows they are right there on the counter. to my amazement they were a few inches away from me. and i couldn't even see them.
I once held up my group for like 20 minutes because I couldn't find the keys to my car and I was tripping hard core because I didn't want to call AAA. turns out they were in my backpocket. this one time, I was really high and trying to order something at this cafe place, and I asked the cashier what her favorite tea was, and then I proceeded to just stand there thinking of which one I should buy. My friend then said "order dumbass" and I was like "shit!" and asked her what her favorite tea was again. then, same place as above, I was ordering tea again but REALLY drunk and when i was done, i turned around to my friend and yelled "DUDE I JUST ORDERED TEA! YEAH!" because i was so proud of what i did. everyone looked at me like i was a moron. i didn't care, ordering something while completely trashed is hard a hell. one more tea story. i was ordering tea once again and right when i gave her money, i turned around to see my buddies parents (who just found out he smoked and freaked out) so i was like "Hey!" and just started edging towards the door. I just like backed out of the cafe and the cashier was like "You want your tea/change?" and I had to go back and pick up my shit. it was bad because i had just smoked like 5 min before.
when i was younger like 15 i asked a 21 year old chick who was really hot and her boy friend was right next to me to give me head. we were friends so she was like adam stop drinking i was like im fine then i went and fell asleep on my friends floor. btw i didnt drink that much it was only a 40 oz and 3 beers but it was my first time
oh my god thats seriously the funniest thing i've ever heard....haha clarissa explains it all was so cool
I think reading this thread last night affected me. After I got done laughing, I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth and take my contacts out. I took my right one out and opened up the left side of my contact case. I look into it for the contact. I panick because it's not there. I start frantically trying to remember where I could have dropped it. Then I realized it was in my eye. I was taking it out, not putting it in. Keep in mind I was really high so this all felt very urgent to me, and my hands were shaking once I realized why I couldn't find my contact.
Back in November I was smoking with my girlfriend and her bestfriend. We smoked 2 bongs of Northern Lights, then a joint of it, then 2 bongs. Needless to say we were so fucking ripped we couldn't move. I decided to go make us food. I bake a pizza and after it's done I take it out with my bare hands (I didnt feel any pain till the next day, though my hands were swollen for 2 weeks. Try explaining that to your mom). So I go back upstairs and forget to bring it back up, i get distracted by the TV and go back downstairs and am dissapointed to find They have no frozen pizza! Damnit! So I make us some roast beef sandwhiches and forget them again, so I go back upstairs, get distracted again. Decided to go make us food and make us some smores. When I finish, I grab the pizza by accident, then I see the sandwhiches, then i bring up the smores. We couldn't figure out how it happend till the next day. They don't remember me leaving the room, ever. But it was all okay since they both ended up making out with me at once. Always fun while high.
Once when i was on holiday with some friends, we had all got incredibly stoned, so then me and my mate leave the others, to go buy some munchies from the supermarket. When we get there the store is almost closing, so were the last ones let in. So it just the two of us, fucking stoned, walking around this supermarker, and down the snack aisle, with all the staff waiting at the tills for us to finish. So then we notice this, and start cracking up with laughter while theyre looking at us. We then try and keep a straight face, taking all the snacks to the checkout. I realise im about to burst out laughing, so try and exit the store, only to find the security guard had it locked. So i went back to the till, then he opened the doors for us, and we both left. We burst out laughing so hard after leaving the shop.
One time last summer, me and this dude got like some chronic, and like not much that shit, i was ripped, it'll fuck you up... i forgot what exactly the topic of this forum is.. ha ha.. i guess this is a stoner moment
I work at mcdonalds and i often find myself high at the drivethru, and i start asking the people if they "want breadstix with that" (i used to work at little caesar) today i was high and started singing to the radio and found out i had the intercom button down so like the person outside was cracking their shit up at me as i sung to santanas smoothe, thankfully when she came to the window she gave me applause! last friday a dude gave me like 1.06 for medium fries and then i looked at him seriously and said "i dont sell anything below ten", i get this bizarre look and he sped off leaving the fries and the money (Which i pocketed)...and i bust out laughing. The other day while sweeping the front of the register, i started swordfighting my friend josh (who was mopping behind the register) and then i hit the shakemachines lever, which dispensed a large amount of shake all over the floor...i just got some paper place mats and put them down on top of the spill and continued fighting. With all these great experiances, i must say that mcdonalds is the SHIT to be stoned at.
I was in the living room of the apartment I had with my brother and his fiance at the time, and there's about seven or eight of us sitting around getting high. So I say out loud, "I think I'll call Gene up and get him over here." So I dial the phone, you've gotta remember I'm fucking blown out, and my dad answers. I had actually dialed my old home phone number instead of Gene's. My brothers sitting beside me, and all of a sudden, I'm like "Hi dad." Try explaining that one at the drop of a hat.
one time me and a friend were smokin a mutual friend out (his first time ) so, we smoke about three bowls, and go inside, the only thing we had to eat was frozen french fries, so i pop some in the oven, and go into my room, and the three of us are just chillin with the lights off listenin to dark side of the moon, next thing i know, it's the next mornin, all three of us had passed out, and my mom woke up to the smell of burning food about 4 hours after i put the fries in. another time, me and a friend who has a speech impendiment were in the mcdonalds drive thru, he says "can i have some chicken mcnuggets" in the craziest voice and i just start crackin up, and he starts laughin to, so we pull up to the window, and we're laughin, and the girl just hands us our change and didn't seem to notice once, after smokin a few bowls in this empty park at about midnight, me and a friend get back in the car, we begin to divide our herb up (we had gone in on an 8th) so he opens it, and all of a sudden a cop pulls up next to us, so he stashes it under my seat, after a few questions about why we were there so late, he starts thinkin we're drunk not high, then he shines his light in my eyes and starts askin me something, at which point i start to zone out, i come back to reality right as he finishes his question, so he's standin there waitin for an answer, and my friend saves my ass and answers for me. me and the same friend from the mcdonalds drive thru thing, were sharin a bag of chips, so we're blazed as fuck, and he starts eatin 'em really fast, so i say "save some for me", and he starts dying laughin, when he finally calms down he tries to tell me that i said it with a jamaican accent (i'm white) i always seem to have a lot of fun/trouble when i'm in a fastfood place or a conveinience store. also, when you're high, and you go to light the bowl, does anybody ever hold the lighter backwards and try to light it? that seems to happen to me a lot
Alyx, urs would be cool except for the part where you take the pan out w/ ur hands... OUCH. well, at least the night ended well .//chris
Once I had gotten my buddy to smoke pot regularly we went into London to go to a headshop I believe (Organic Traveller). Naturally, we smoked some Mary during the drive there. We park, get outta the car, forget my wallet, retrieve wallet, walk in the general viscinity of the shop. All is going well. My friend spots a police officer across the street, all hell breaks loose. Something in side his brain must have snapped, I can't describe what transpired in the thoughts of that young man, but for some reason the bastard bolts off like he was running a fucking marathon. I stand there awestruck, looking like a complete retard, wondering if my friend is insane. Not to mention the fact that I was the one with the pipe and 1/4 oz of dank sticky icky icky (not like there was a reason to worry anways...) I later asked him what posessed him to do such a thing. "I don't know man, I really don't, I don't think I ever will". I certainly don't know what the fuck that was. My theory is he had a religious experience wherein the police officer represented 'satan' or some demonic being. Scared for his life he did the only logical thing, run like hell. The theory obviously has no basis of fact whatsoever. But it helps to simplify things, if that makes sense, you know, to still be able to hang out with him. Because even though the theory is shit in the sun it seems more reasonable than being so worried about getting busted for walking around in public with nothing on you, knowing that and then proceeding to run like a little girl in broad day light, all while it's your friend with the paraphanelia and reefer, again, not that it matters.. Sorry for rambling.
ya man, that's what friends are for.. two days ago i had a good one.. i'd been drinking a little bit then after a session me and my buddy go to a coffee shop (no, not those kinds of coffee shops ).. so he wants me to order for him cuz he wants to stand outside to smoke so i order his thing then i ask her what kind of pop/soda they have.. she starts speaking to me in this timid foreign voice i'm like "what?" like 3 times.. it turns out that the fridge for that shit is right behind me.. i turn around and take the nearest bottle available cuz i don't want to think about it.. i try opening the fridge but my hand slips.. i try again and it opens.. i pay and go outside the coffee shop to sit at the patio but my friend is nowhere to be seen.. he probably went to the bathroom or something.. he tends to do that a lot.. so i'm out there for what seems like 5 minutes and my friend comes back and says it's only been 2 minutes.. but damn was i confused when i didn't find my friend outside the shop.. then on the same day i was hauling around my classical guitar cuz we were going to the park to smoke and play guitar.. so we go into a subway and we order and shit.. i remind him to not let me forget to leave my guitar.. so just as we leave the dude working reminds us "hey don't forget your guitar!" i'm like "OOOOOOHHHH THAAANKS!" in this really stoned voice.. the kind where i just extend the vowels to make really long words liiiiiiiiiike thiiiiiisss.. hahaha.. keep em coming hahah..
I just had another one :\ Wondering why the fuck I just read this whole thread twice... back-to-back... I've had too many, like one time, me and my friend just blazed a bunch, and i walked into a gas station to pick up a drink, and the guy was like "just take it" and i was like "its free?...really? i can just have it?" .. "yea, i don't feel like working" and i was like "...so i can have it right?" it was funny then another time me and some friends (at 6AM) went to a gas station to pick up a philly to go burn, and like, the black lady behind the desk was like 'a little early to be smokin a blunt isnt it?" and i was like "it's never to early for a blunt" it was funny cause she was a bit old... Yea, my eyes were fucking baked cause we were just at the beach for 5 hours smoking and drinking the whole night... Others... well, I don't feel like typing right now, I'm high, and these lunchables Cracker Stackers are fucking great.