A Few Funnies Fer Ya!

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by AmsterdamdreamN, Jun 8, 2003.

  1. What's the best form of birth control after 50?
    Nudity.
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    What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    45 lbs.
    --------------------------------------------
    What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    45 minutes.
    ---------------------------------------------
    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.
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    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring, and good looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.
    ------------------------------------------------
    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
    ------------------------------------------------- =20
    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Why does the bride always wear white?
    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match, the stove, and refrigerator.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
    The blonde because she's 18.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
    Ask your mom.
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    How do you know when you're really ugly?
    Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
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    How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
    When a nymhomaniac tells you, " Let's just be friends."
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Moms have Mother's Day, Dads have Father's Day, what do single guys have?
    Palm Sunday.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
    Her navel.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
    They named him Sum Ting Wong.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Why do Gorillas have such big noses?
    Because they have such big fingers.
     

  2. Ok those two ARE taking the piss out of my current social situation.
     
  3. hehe i like those
     
  4. Yup those 1's were hilarious dude.
     

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