A Few Funnies Fer Ya!

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by AmsterdamdreamN, Jun 8, 2003.

  1. What's the best form of birth control after 50?
    What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    45 lbs.
    What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    45 minutes.
    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.
    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring, and good looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.
    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
    ------------------------------------------------- =20
    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.
    Why does the bride always wear white?
    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match, the stove, and refrigerator.
    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
    The blonde because she's 18.
    Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
    Ask your mom.
    How do you know when you're really ugly?
    Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
    How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
    When a nymhomaniac tells you, " Let's just be friends."
    Moms have Mother's Day, Dads have Father's Day, what do single guys have?
    Palm Sunday.
    What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
    Her navel.
    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.
    Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
    They named him Sum Ting Wong.
    Why do Gorillas have such big noses?
    Because they have such big fingers.

  2. Ok those two ARE taking the piss out of my current social situation.
  3. hehe i like those
  4. Yup those 1's were hilarious dude.

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