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a day in the life of joe democrat

Discussion in 'Politics' started by munchymeiser900, Mar 10, 2012.

  1. Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare his morning coffee. Joe can afford the coffee because corporate loving rich Republicans exported our jobs overseas with NAFTA and CAFTA.

    With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications work because money-grubbing Republicans refuse to place price controls on drugs, thereby allowing pharmaceutical companies to earn enough money to pay for the extensive R&D and take the risks necessary to create miracle drugs. But the drugs still cost too much because government mandated health insurance has artificially increased the demand for medications with no one to police the prices, but that's OK since Joe's Bush-supporting bossman pays all but $10 of Joe's medications.

    In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient, none of which are damaging to his skin because some animal-hating sadistic corporations paid some scientists to swab the shampoo in some poor rabbit's eyes. Just for kicks.

    Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some dollar-worshipping conservative developers built some nice houses with pretty yards 15 miles from the industrial sector of the city, and Joe drives his comfortable and affordable “Japanese” car made in Georgia without the inflated cost of union labor, and Joe can stop on his way home to pick up a package of reasonably priced T-shirts at the evil Wal-Mart, instead of having to park his car and take a filthy subway to pay twice as much downtown.

    Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because his parents instilled in him the value of hard work so he studied when he was in school and learned that he could get by just fine without relying on the government. Joe's employer pays these benefits because Joe's employer doesn't Joe's a valuable employee and Joe's employer doesn't want him to go work for his competitor. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get another job pretty quick because he's a self-starting go getter who has a lot of friends at church and from college that he can call to find more work.

    It's noontime and Joe would need to make a bank deposit but doesn't need to go to a bank because evil monopolist Bill Gates helped make computers useable to the general public and he can automatically pay bills thanks to the economies of scale of Bank of America or Wachovia installing the expensive equipment to allow Joe this convenience. While Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC, Joe doesn't have to worry about Democrats in Congress pulling the rug out from under the real estate market again like they did in the 80s. At least Joe hopes they learned their lesson.

    Joe pays a low rate mortgage because Americans voted for that war monger Ronald Reagan in 1980 and Bill Clinton had the good sense to reappoint Alan Greenspan. And Joe can afford a nicer home, not only just because of the low mortgage rates, but also because he gets to keep more of his hard earned money because Republican Presidents in the 1980s and in 2001 cut his taxes.

    After work this evening, Joe plans to visit his father at his farm home in the country that Joe's dad still owns because his landed-gentry Republican County Commissioners have refused to steal his land in the name of a higher tax base.

    Joe gets in his car for the drive because the government added additional lanes to the local highways that people actually use instead of throwing money away on a regional rail system that studies project people would little use. Joe gets to his house in record time because death-loving Republicans allow you to go 65 and 70 mph, and you can because pollution loving Republicans don't make you plug your car in overnight so you can drive for 2 hours at a maximum speed of 20 mph.

    Joe arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house, but he doesn't because when his grandparents moved to the United States they learned to speak English and didn't spend their time complaining about how the government wasn't doing enough for them. The house didn't have electricity until some military-industrial power company plopped a big ol' nuclear power plant over by the river.

    Joe is happy to see his father, so they go to the local bar and enjoy a beer and a cigar, where Joe's dad tells him that if the estate tax is repealed, Joe can keep the farm in the family for a fourth generation and won't have to sell it to pay the taxes.

    Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on NPR. The reporters keep telling stories about how bad corporations only care about profit and that higher taxes will allow the government to “invest” in our future. They don't mention that the beloved Democrats have vilified the very people who have provided us jobs, good and services from their small businesses and big companies.
  2. Blah blah I buy into the 2 party paradigm blah blah...

  3. Damn dude
  4. I liked it now think how of much better Joe's life would be if he lived in a free market!

    Joe gets into his hover car to go to work which is driven by an artificial intelligence.

    Joe enjoys natural milk bought from the Amish.

    Joe gets it on with the sexbot 5000!

    Joe can keep his doors unlocked at night because true poverty and crime are all but eliminated.

    So on and so forth.

    Joe smokes joint! :smoke:
  5. #5 sudo toke, Mar 10, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2012
    Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

    I would note that a lot of Libertarians/conservatives see corporatism as a perversion of the free market, not the free market in practice. It gives them special treatment and advantages that other businesses don't have (and I would note is purely a government creation). Corporations were originally meant to be fixed-term entities for specific projects, and were meant to give them special protections so that they would actually take on these projects. Unfortunately, governments realized they could make decent money giving out more of these licenses and taxing them, so they morphed into the commonality we have today.

    As far as the rest, it seems hyperbolic for my taste. The Republican party has just as much blame as the Democrats for our current market distortions, AFAIC. Ever since Reagen especially, all the mainstream has been neo-Keynesian, both Republican and Democrat. Granted, at least their rhetoric is heading in the right direction, but I don't think one can really reasonably argue that they've done a great job following through with that rhetoric since the 80's, at least.

  6. This is how you gripe about partisanship without being trollish.
  7. Are these threads really necassary?
  8. this one might be worse than the republican one.

    but it's pretty close..
  9. I especially like the part where Alan Greenspan is a good thing.
  10. yeah, and that Bill Clinton appointed him..

  11. There's an ignore feature on this site I believe if you don't like what I post.

  12. I know :)

    Thanks for the protip tho

  13. No prob.
  14. Joe democrat's a twat and would've been killed off years younger if we didn't have an established national government in place. Another useless human, products of overpopulation, that should've never been born and not have survived this long unless he learned how to hunt and have self-reliance. Who's very existence is to just consume what large corporate giants create to thus perpetuate the cycle, eventually destroying the earth, and the most 'intelligent' species that inhabited it.

  15. Whoa.

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