What's up, Grasscity? Well, today I was apprehended by the law. I'd prefer not to go into details, but after running away from some painters, I ended up in handcuffs. This was my first time being arrested, and let me tell you, it sucks. The parental units are extremely angry at me, and for good reason. All of this is the culmination of some feelings or vibes that I've had for the last few weeks I think. Lately, I've been feeling lost, and somewhat depressed. I feel the need to constantly be fucked up on any type of drugs that I can get, and that is pathetic. I must find the way, and I feel that way is not smoking weed all day, every day. I believe that I have not been truly living my life, and when I stop smoking, I will be truly involved in my personal life again. I have searched for some truths through experimentation with heavier psychedelics, such as LSD and psilocybin mushrooms, to no avail thus far. I believe it is time for a rest with these chemicals, and they will be revisited when my life is more in order. After some thought, I believe that today was a sign. I need to take some time to reflect on my life, and what I have become since I've started smoking marijuana. My dope-smoking probably was not directly the cause of today, but it certainly had something to do with it. I have become weak, and dependent on mind altering chemicals to get me through the day, which is very sad. So, now, I must step back, and look at myself. I need to make decisions, as I am at an important time in my life. I need to prepare for college, and get my shit straightened out, and being arrested again WILL NOT help. So, thusly, I am resigning from GC for a little while, although I certainly do spend a lot of my time here, and some of you cats are quite chill. I will be back around sometime, and best wishes to all of you. (sorry for the long read, and thank you to all who read it)
Dam bro, no good getting busted. Hope shit works out for you man and good luck reflecting on things. Do what you have to man.
Yeah, I was just being a total dumbass today. Some of the dumbest shit I've ever done. I will see you again, CaliCoast
Yes, but, being always high is not living. Or, better said, living in a personally defined world, and that does not always work.
That sucks your got arrested today man. Remember though, blaming outside sources for your behavior isn't the right way to go about things. It is, and always will be, you behind the control of your brain deciding what you do and don't do. You just need to get over that mental wall of "letting things make decisions for you" and just take responibility. Its good your taking a step back right now to evalutate your life. I've had to do the same multiple times myself.
Oh, man, if it came across that way, I did not mean it. I take full responsibility for myself, and I was not blaming marijuana. Although, if I had never smoked, I would probably not be in this situation. Totally my fault though. Yeah, I hope it helps me sortof...regain control somewhat
Your reflections are putting you on a more positive path bro and that's good. Please continue your forward momentum toward positivity and growth. Too many times I read posts by members that have chosen to cloud their reason with excessive drug use instead of looking at themselves for the answers to their longings and fears. "It doesn't make any difference whether what you face is something that affects your work, your personal relationships, your sense of security, your appraisal of self-worth, or your appearance--the way you think about your situation largely determines whether you will do anything about it and what you will do." ~Dr. Arthur Freeman~ Be well and Godspeed toward hope! Stay green.
Everything in moderation.. Reading your post was kind of funny actually because I have been through the same shit as you, and through a period where I was simply living to pursue the next high. Then one day, my huge ambitions made me realize a lot of things: If you want to be someone, you have to be able to get up in the morning even if you don't want to, you have to clean your room even if you don't want to, and even the most basic thing, eating every day. Once you have a routine, you are less prone to messing it up and on the contrary, much more prone to repeating them because you start smelling better, having good attendance, actually participating, looking better, and producing a lot more.. that's when weed comes into play. After a day of accomplishments, there's nothing better than a bowl or two to yourself or with some friends. On a day where the first thing you did was a bong rip however does make you less likely to do your shit, and at the end of the day where you haven't done anything but smoking, smoking turns into a burden and the shit that you haven't done but are still required to do comes back to haunt you. Sound familiar? Just really, quit lying to yourself is all you need to do. Think about my words carefully, cause we all know what the right thing to do is.. very few know how to get themselves to do it.
I feel what your saying man but your still giving the blame to weed some. Smoking weed does open the doors of opportunity but with that comes responsibility. Sure you might not have met some people that probably weren't the greatest influence but its all how you control that. Don't let people change you into a person who views their life as unproductive. There are ways to be productive and positively enhance your life while still smoking. Thats what the breaks like the one your taking will help with. They help you find yourself and your true values. I used to blame a bunch of my problems because of when I started blazing. I used to think that if I never started my life would be some story tale. In reality it never would have been. Weed opened new doors to me, some positive, some drastically negative. When I was younger I didn't know the difference so I got in the wrong shit until I realized, much like you, this isn't life I'm trying to live. I want more. I want to be me and enjoy it. Not trying to be negative towards you just trying to give some incite I found that kinda helped me figure everything out.
I have been clouding my reason with excessive drug use, and I have today come to realize that, and now I must take care of my stuff. Thank you for your good wishes, man. It certainly does sound familiar. I feel like this is an endless cycle, if you keep smoking to escape your work and problems, no matter how insignificant they may truly be. This is what I'm hoping will result from my break. Thank you for your insight, man, I appreciate it and I don't take it negatively.
I know exactly what you mean and what you're going through. I'm pretty much going through the same thing. Although I can't say I've done any experimentation with other drugs, I do feel as though my abuse of marijuana by overdoing it did have an affect to the downfall of my life. I've got things in control though, and I've learned from my mistakes. Live and learn, that's all you can do.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure a lot of smokers go through this if they start smoking a lot. I wouldn't consider it anything like a downfall though, I would consider it more of a .... new beginning of sorts. A new, better fresh start. Sure, I've had opportunities to correct my life before, but this is something serious, and now I need to correct my habit before I do end up ruining something that could have been beautiful.
You'll be missed man, that's for sure!! ..but you're probably doing the right thing for yourself. Some parts of our lives are just supposed to be real confusing, the skills you learn as you go through this part will set you up for the rest of your life. Good luck man, looking forward to your return!