Getting pretty pissed off GC. My friend got with his girlfriend about 3 months ago, she's only 17 and he's like 24, but whatever, they seemed to work together and like each other so no beef yaknow. Since he met her, he's been bailing on us a lot to spend time with her. Which - again, is fair enough at the start. We all get like that. New relationship and shit. It's expected. I'm cool with that. But it's been 3 months now and we haven't seen much of him at all. So. We had plans tonight for a few of us to go to his (free house and that) and we grabbed some weed, all set for the big night in. She was in the car at the time and was moaning about how 'weed is such a pointless drug' whinewhinewhine, even though ONE she was invited to come hang as well (and he's blown us off for her MANY many times anyway) and TWO she's always fucking drinking anyway which, in my eyes, is much more of a waste. But whatever. She's usually cool but she can be demanding and today she was well getting on my tits. And when my friend said to her 'well, I haven't seen them in ages, so can we please just do this tonight?' she got in a right fucking strop, to the point where she got out the car and stormed off. I told him I had to go to the gym anyway for a couple hours, so he should go sort it out with her, but I'd be up near his house and would be finished by 8, and I'd have no way of getting home from there, so if we could start at 8:00 that would be cool (it was like 5:30 at that point). He said yeah that's fine, I'll catch you then. I went to the pub he said he was going to with her (where she was drinking, OBVIOUSLY) and told me he'd ring me when he left. His car wasn't there, I had to walk home and he hasn't picked up his phone or made any effort to contact me or any of the other 3 guys who were meant to be hanging out as well since then. It is now 11:00. We've all been SO lenient with him bailing and shit as well and he's a very, very good mate of mine, but this is the last straw. What do I say to the guy?
I'm not one to judge but 17 and 24 is a pretty big difference, when he was 18 she was in elementary school... I don't even have good advice since it's a fucked up situation, the only way things will go back to normal is when they split up. You can try talking to him, but he's gonna brush it off and put her first anyway. It sucks because I know how you feel, and there's not really a way to handle it without cutting them out of your life or only seeing him on occasion, which is already what's going on except the only sure way to make sure that plans stay intact would be for him to make them himself. If you make plans with him, he'll keep having excuses to cancel. Best of luck to you, hopefully everyone gets their shit together and works something out, I'd definitely tell him it wasn't cool to flake like that and is even shadier because you guys are close.
Yeah I get you. I forgot to explain another part of the problem though to spice things up a bit. HER step-sister is my girlfriend. So I can't just cut her out or get mega pissy at her because I have to spend a lot of time with her haha. And she CAN be cool as fuck sometimes. But when it comes to demanding shit upon him and him not standing up for himself properly it just pisses me off. Absolutely killed my vibe tonight. Was really looking forward to it.
I'm a contradicting person lol, what I meant was I don't usually judge but a 7 year gap when she's under 18 is pretty big. I don't know them as people so I can't say anything for certain about who they are or if the relationship works, but it might be part of the problem.
Na it is a bit of a leap, we're all aware (hence why I brought it up haha). We gave her the benefit of the doubt at first in that she IS young, so she's gonna be a little inexperienced with relationships and think she can put all these demands on him, but the guys 24 for fuck sake. He needs to put his foot down where it's needed. And it would be fine if he said 'I don't want to do it tonight man' or at least fucking let me know. Not just straight up blanking me. ESPECIALLY as he told me to go to his house for 8. Takes so much for me to get pissed off as well but it's done it for me tonight.
Don't cut him out but don't plan on him being anywhere don't call him just wait for him to call you and be there when he needs you and when you see him next make sure to include bro before hoe
Thats bad new bud. Hopefully by the time he comes back around you guys wont be tired of trying to make plans with the nigga that flakes for his alchy gf lol
I'm going to be the odd one out and suggest talking to your friend about it. if you have an issue with how he's being treated, and are concerned, it's definitely something you should discuss with him. maybe he doesn't actually realise? sounds silly, because you think you'd notice in those situations... sometimes you don't. idk. best of luck.