20 clues a Woman should "Call it a Night"!! lol

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by cowboysaxman, May 20, 2002.

  1. 20 Clues a Woman Should Call it a Night

    1. She has absolutely no idea where her purse is.
    2. She believes that dancing with her arms over her head and wiggling her butt while yelling "woo-hoo"! is truly the sexiest dance move around!!!
    3. She suddenly decides she wants to kick someone's ass and honestly believes she could do it too!!
    4. In her last trip to "pee" she realized she now looks more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess she was just four hours ago.
    5. She drops her 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which she's eating even though she's not the least bit hungry), picks it up and carries on eating it.
    6. She starts crying and telling everyone she sees that she loves them sooooo much.
    7. There are less than three hours before she's due to start
    8. She's found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting
    next to her.
    9. The man she's flirting with used to be her 5th grade teacher.
    10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a
    table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
    11. Her eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their
    own so she keeps them half closed and thinks it looks sexy.
    12. She's suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
    13. She yells at the bartender, who (she thinks) cheated her by giving her just lemonade, but that's just because she can no longer taste the gin.
    14. She thinks she's in bed, but her pillow feels strangely like
    the kitchen floor.
    15. She starts every conversation with a booming, "Don't take
    this the wrong way but..."
    16. She fails to notice that the toilet lid's down when she sits on it.
    17. Her hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
    18. She's tired so she just sits on the floor (wherever she happens to be standing)and takes a quick nap.
    19. She begins leaving the button's open on her button fly pants to cut down on the time she's in the washroom away from her drink.
    20. She takes her shoes off because she believes it's their fault that she can't walk straight.
  2. Truer words have never been spoken.

    Now I hope Poohgator doesn't get mad at you for reading her diary.

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