2 year relationship. No sex life thinking of leaving, Thoughts?

I am a 22 year old male. She is 22 also. We have been together for 2 years 3 months and we live together. we have two dogs and we are talking about getting out a mortgage on a house soon together. We have talked about having kids in the future but we both agree we wont get married. it just seems to me a silly idea.

in alot of ways we are opposites. for example, I love having a couple drinks, smoking weed and growing it. She however hates smoking weed, she even hates the smell of it, i dont mean she hates the smell of the smoke, no she actually hates the smell of buds and she thinks it smells disgusting. Now with me at this stage of my life it really is a part of me and its just something im not about to give up. I grow it, i smoke it, i love it! Although im saying this, it isnt really a big issue in the relationship but it is something that bothers both of us a little. and she does complain about it often. Atleast there is more for me! Call it a compromise hehe

We do get on well mostly. We never fight and dont often have arguments although we do have them.. Most of the time We rarely yell at each other and when that does happen we might get angry with each other and maybe yell but once we have both made our points without being silly i try to step back and let the negativity bounce off me, let her vent, let her keep yelling at me til she runs out steam then swallow my anger and talk to her about what what either one of us is angry about. al though it doesnt always work out this way but this is always how i try aproach it, and we always either resolve it or just get over it or forget. I never EVER get insulting though. Even if we did break up i wouldnt resort to this. I find all this to be a great part of our relationship because this happens very rarely, and we can talk about anything pretty much and we mostly communicate well to each other.

there are a few other small things that bother me like how we have opposite taste in music. The stuff i like she hates, and vice versa.. another thing is she is always playing games on her phone nonstop which again is not biggie but it bothers me. And one of the worst things she does that i absolutely hate is she snores at night and farts ALOT during the day. I mean she is ripping big loud long farts Alot. like probably 3 times as much as me. she is not ashamed to do this, instead she just laughs but i find it revolting, But things like this are to be expected for any relationship and its just something that we all have to live with and at the end of the day it is ok.

Me personally i think of myself as an active person im always doing things, im either at work or working on things at home, or talking shit with friends or just getting fucked up. Now unless she is at work or has to go out when nessacery, shes at home. she doesnt like to go out at night on the weekends and such so she just stays home and plays games on her phone while sitting in front of the tv. She will sit there for most of the day and she is not motivated to do anything. she acknowledges this and she wants to become more active and get out more but she just wont do it. she just sits at home in front of the tv playing games on her phone and makes excuses to herself to not take action. ive tried to help her out with this but i cant seem to help. I cant get her past "its too hard" and "you wouldnt understand" when infact i can because i have been there myself

Now this one is abit of a biggie for me lately. She just does not want to have sex. We have totally diffrent sex drives. a complete mix match. Basicly I want to have sex everyday, multiple times if she wants to. more the better, meanwhile she just does not want to have sex at all. we used to have sex that we both enjoyed for the first year then she just became less and less interested. It declined to the point where she just does not want to have sex and i started bribing her with money and buying her things so that she would have sex with me. this has gone on for what might probably even be a couple months now. up until recently i was just giving her $50 everytime i wanted to have sex. i would go days without it and then i would just fold and offer her money. I am stopping doing this, i do not want to do this any more it is just sad and embarrassing. It is not the way either of us want to have sex but i really just feel like i need sex that bad and its the only way!

Despite the fact that we get on so well and intend to buy a house and maybe have kids together i am beggining to wonder if this is really the right relationship for me as we clearly want different things. It has been a month since we had sex and it is torment for me. Me not being able to make love to her makes me feel as if im not good enough for her and sometimes makes me feel like she is getting it somewhere else, even though im sure shes not. I havent told her this yet but i think it might be something to bring up soon before its too late. I dont know how long i would last like this before i have relations with another woman. infact if i was tempted today im not sure if i could resist even though i love her and wouldn't want to do that to her.

In fact she has told me recently, multiple times that i need a girl on the side that i just dont tell her about. I dont agree with this at all. If we are in a relationship its just me and her, i am loyal i dont want to lie to her. The fact that she actually said this makes me wonder if thats the way she feels and if she thinks that would actually be ok. would she or has she done this to me? Again i dont think she will or has but im not sure this is just the way i feel

Now one thing that would complicate things if i did break it off with her is my grow. I grow indoors and have a perpetual setup. i probably have slightly more plants than i really need and I have heared countless story's of angry ex's dobbing their partners in for growing because they broke up. I just am not sure how well it would go if i bought this up with her. basicly it sounds like this, "yea we are going to buy a house and have kids together and everything but sorry we dont have sex enough so im not sure about being in a relationship with you any longer" I dont know how she might react. this is i feel where my grow kind of complicates things because i dont think she would dob me in but at the same time i dont want to take the risk so i kind of feel stuck

 

yea im not really sure ay. i feel like i should and i also feel like im going to keep making excuses not to leave. reality is there is no good time to leave

 

when its all layed out like that in writing like that it really doesn't look that good does it.

 

yea thanks for that

 

you are right here. she told me the exact thing. i have gotten really better lately. thats why we havent had sex latley. because you are right. i started to pester her. but ive stoped trying to initiate sex all the time and we are getting on well but she still just doesnt want to have sex.

and to whoever asked about her having depression, yes she does have it, she is on fluoxatine i think. i believe this has side effects on sex drive which probably doesnt help

 

that quote totally put my relationship into perspective. cheers man!