Yeah this is the first rap i have ever written because my one friends wants me to flow with him so i thought i would.. its not finished. Writing the thoughts that come to mind making you motherfuckers eventually blind I smoke that kush and feel the push but its nothing like the feeling of a coke head rush see i try and melt the pain away good days are rare and typically fade the darkness that resides in my sould will undoubtably destroy all of you fools In time.. Cause you dont know what I feel Inside me The hatred I feel so thoroughly It makes me smoke more trees but you see.. I express my feelings verbally And Succeed. At times it feels like nothing is real The happiness I felt once is now concealed the struggles that i face everyday make me want to forget and fade away yeah i dont know if thats good, i dont really care haha. just tell me if i need some work on lyrics and it flows rigt in my head so if you dont see how it flows, im sorry.
Not bad for a first timer, i enjoyed it. Practice on punch lines and the how you deliver them. Also, your ryhme scheme is pretty basic, but ill let that slip. Keep practicing and youll get there. Keep smoking, it helps
^^Not to much though. And don't become dependent on it to write. Not bad though. Listening to some good shit will do wonders for your wordplay. Who are your main influences?
my main influence would probably have to be immortal technique. his lyrics are so inspiring. thank you for the feedback! yeah one day i was just walking around outside smoking a blunt and i layed out a freestyle that was amazing
Are you going to actually be laying down any of your stuff? And this is a pretty nice blog to study up on your technique...http://etalonhiphop.blogspot.com/