1st poem

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by TheKman, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. This is the first poem I wrote, so if it kind of sucks just let me know. Critism is what makes us better. little backstory on the poem, this girl i knew in highschool used to like me but i never really did anything about it, now its been two years since we graduated and I just saw her last week and i brought up feelings i used to have for her, but now she has a boyfriend, so I have a bad case of unrequited love and it sucks, so thats what my poem is about. I dont really have a format for it yet so its just in a paragraph

    I'm knee deep in the ocean of my emotions, getting taken by the tide of my pride. Motionless, feeling of helplessness, the feeling of oblivion. The storm of my mind is raging around as my consciousness is breaking down. The waves clash as the falstaffian man crash. Thunder and lighting battle for supremacy of fear as the demise of my humanity draws near. The light house on the peak of antiquity is my only ray of shine that clears these dark clouds of mine. Unrequited Love is a raging storm tearing at the soul and like a powerful hurricane it takes it's deadly toll.
     
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