1st chapter of my 1st book

Discussion in 'The Bookshelf' started by :::===={XX}, Dec 15, 2003.


    Chapter 1

    It all began in a little town called Burkensvill when Lynx was a little boy. His child hood was not one supposed to have been lived. He had a mother Jenny and a father Steve. Steve was the worst person worst human begin there could ever be. When Steve was provoked it was like he turned it to a complete different person not a person more like a beast an animal. Lynx was a very smart boy he could have been anything with the right upbringing. He learnt how to read and write on his own from the age of 4 he pretty much had to seeing as his parents weren't going to do a thing for him. He also loved music; he would stay up late at night watching the music channels on TV while his parents were passed out from too much abuse. Lynx was 5 years old when he committed his first murder It was the night of Steve and Jenny's anniversary They were both drunk and high on a lot of pills and other miscellaneous. Lynx was in his room were his father had sent him for the night. He was supposed to be asleep but he was up writing in his diary, his diary was like his best friend he put every thing in it.

    It was about midnight Steve and Jenny were in their bedroom. Steve was coming on to Jenny in a strong way. But she didn't want it she was too drunk too high and tried from looking after Lynx. But Steve wasn't going to take no for an answer and he through her to the ground. She started to scream this time Steve was not going to stop. He started to beat her it wasn't the usual beating this one was a killer. Lynx was getting scared and he went to the living room to find Steve covered in blood and his mother limp on the bed. Lynx knew this was bad, Steve hadn't noticed him standing there he just stood there watching his father pound punch after punch in to his mothers head. He couldn't look away until he realized he could do something to stop this. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife he could find then stormed back to the room and jumped on Steve's back driving the knife into his neck like a little boy killing his first beast. Steve jerked throwing his son of his back, and then he fell to the ground lifeless. Lynx immediately got up got his diary and went back to the room. He went and sat by his mother and wrote in his diary.

    Steve had warrants out for his arrest things like armed robbery rape and indecent assault. The police just happened to raid his house that night. There was said to be at least 30 police officers for just one man. They busted the door in and raided the house only to find Lynx his mother and father in a room drenched in blood. Lynx was they're holding his diary in one hand and his mother in the other. The officers where dumb found they didn't know what to think. They didn't know if a robber had come in and it had all gone wrong or if they just had a killer amongst the streets of there humble little town. The police tried to talk to Lynx but he wouldn't speak, he just sat there not moving it was like he was in complete bliss and indescribable pain at the same time. Eventually the police read Lynx's diary and figured it out. The case went to the juvenile court and Lynx was sent to a foster home and kept under a strict set of daily studies and tests. The judge said that he never in his entire 45 years of legal profession seen anything like this before. It went down in history or at lest Burkensville's history.

    The new parents of Lynx where a young couple who couldn't have children of their own. His new mother was called June she was a nice lady but a little bit pushy. His new father was Max Fisher a detective at the police headquarters in his town. Max and his wife were well-respected people. They lived in a huge beautiful house and were very well off in the money side of things. When Lynx first met his new parents he didn't know what to do he was so scared and so confused just like any 5 year old would be. June and Max tried to get him to talk but he just would not speak. This went on for a while until one day Lynx caught his new dad reading his diary. This was bad Lynx was so protective over his best friend his diary and he just jumped at him and started to swipe at Max's eye's Max eventually wrestled him to the ground and pined him there then yelled “what are you doing boy.” “Are you trying to kill me” then he slapped Lynx in the face. Lynx was struggling like an insane person biting Max on the arm and throwing him self everywhere. Then he started to calm down and spoke to Max for the first time “That's mine don't touch it its mine and ill kill you if you touch it”. “Now give it back to me”. Max was so shocked he jumped off him threw the diary at Lynx and ran to June who was in the kitchen cooking dinner.

    He ran up to June and said, “He just spoke to me”. “It doesn't matter what he said but he still spoke to me”. “Why doesn't it matter” June said. Max didn't say anything at first like he was trying to think of something to say, then said “It…it doesn't matter because I…. I didn't hear him”. June looked at him she looked disappointed and said “One of the best cops in town and you come up with that”. “I heard you two down there it sounded like you where fighting”. “ What did you do to him”. Max was surprised and confessed to the lie and told June what had happened. They both went to Lynx's room and knocked on his door. Lynx was in his room holding his diary like he normally would. He wasn't responding to the knocks on the door. He was just sitting there waiting for them to open it wondering if he should talk to them. June eventually opened the door and went to sit by Lynx. While Max just stood at the door. She put her arm around him and said, “are you ok Lynx what happened”. Lynx didn't talk at first he just tried to shuffle away from her. June let him go and Lynx went and sat on his bed. June said, “if you don't talk to us we can't help you Lynx what's the matter”. Lynx raised his head up and spoke to June for the very first time “He was reading my dairy this is privet its mine”. June went and sat next to Lynx again and said in a calm voice “well I'm sure he is sorry, isn't that right max”. He quickly responded with “o yeah”. June smiled at Lynx and said “See were not bad people you just have to tell us what is yours and what you don't want us to look at” “We love you Lynx and were not going to hurt you we just want you to be our son”. Lynx started to open up after that. He started to talk more and started understanding a bit more about what was happening to him with the new parents and all the test and studies. But they never talked about what had happened before they where his parents. It was to be kept a dark secret never to be spoke of like a sick little freak locked up in a cellar hidden away from day light for the rest of its life.

    It was now time for Lynx to start his first day of school. Max and June decided to send Lynx to the local state school in their suburb. It was a normal school with all things that go with it. The first day of school for Lynx was not the best of days. It started ok. He stayed completely silent in class and didn't really do any of the work. The bell rang and it was time for Lynx to have his lunch. He went and sat on a bench under a tree and began to eat. He finished his lunch then pulled out his diary and started to write in it. About 10 minutes went by when one of the older boys came up to Lynx and asked Lynx what he was doing. Lynx didn't respond he just sat there writing. The boy got angry took the diary and ran with it.
    Lynx jumped up and chased the boy he caught to him and tackled the boy. Then Lynx jumped on his back grabbed his head and smashed his face in to the ground a few times until a teacher came and pulled Lynx off the boy. Lynx got free of the teachers grip grabbed his diary and took off. He ran knowing what he had done was wrong. He got out of the school ground and kept on running he wasn't going to stop. He didn't want to go home either because he knew that he would get punished there too. So Lynx just ran he ran for about 2 miles until he could run no more.

    Comment welcome good or bad.
  2. Yea, that was an interesting read, just towards the end of that chapter was all a bit sudden, it was like he was going on the run and only after his first day at school.

    How many chapters did you plan on writing?
  3. mmm...from a writers point of view, theres a few things to point out on it. First, the boy is a bit young to be commiting murder, but eh in stories odd things happen. Seconds, a bit of grammer, but o well that can be corrected. its ....weird..but its your creation and keep working on it:)
  4. yeah that chapter aint finished yet dont know how many chapters ill just let it flow untill I want to end it.

    stylez you an author or a jerno

    [too all]If you read that chapter would you buy the book?

  5. I would. In paperback :D
  6. sweet. Does any one else like or hate it.
  7. I would buy it yes, not too expensive though.
  8. I think it was damn good. I mean yeah grammar etc blah blah, all jobs for an editor. Stylez is an author, we started our first book while i was in the 8th grade and he was in the 6th i believe. Long time ago :) He's damn good too. Maybe we'll get lucky and Sty can post his most recent work. Forget the name tho... one with the character Rederis in it?
  9. sweet now I have to finish it. As for the gramma that aint my thing. Is the gramma really bad cuz I just wouldnt have a clue. Im glad I posted it here cuz I had to format my PC and I totaly forgot about it. That would have really sucked. By the way that chapter took about 1 year to write. well not really I just took really long breaks but now I must finish it.

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